Linger
by nujessa06
Summary: What happened if Bella never jumped and she kept her promise and tried to move on? Would forgiving Edward be so simple? Even if he is gone, the memories and love lingers on. Read on as the complications arise when Edward comes home to what he left behind.
1. Chapter 1

**_This is my very first fanfiction so please be honest, patient, and kind. I love to write but I also know that good writers have to be open for criticism, but constructive criticism._**

**_I am open to ideas, comments, and even story lines that you think I should check out._**

**_Thanks and comment often..._**

_**LINGER**_

CHAPTER1: Strangers on a Train…

"It was for her own good…it was for her own good…it", I tell myself over and over again as I walk down another empty street, passing strangers who take no notice. I am a ghost, an empty shell of a man, no, a pathetic creature. The term monster, never seemed so appropriate.

"She's living a normal life now. She's happy…she's ALIVE, SAFE, HAPPY…she's…". These thoughts run constantly through my mind but with these thoughts come the images, the memories, the feelings. Feelings that never seemed possible a year ago. Before Bella, before life seemed worth living, before hope.

I walk faster through the streets, trying to outrun the pain, the heartache, the love I've left behind. I'm not as fast as I thought I was, as it's inescapable… the emptiness. I always knew my very existence was against Nature, against the God I claimed never existed, but now, I have no purpose, no real reason for being. "I did this", answering my own thoughts of self-hatred.

Rounding a corner, I hear a giggle and then a heavier laugh. I can't help but notice and follow the sounds of happiness and joy. More laughter, along with sounds of kisses, and hands clasping together. Down my path, several blocks away, I hear the amused couple, slowly heading towards the train. The warmth, not from their bodies, but their love, radiates around them. I want to run far from them, not to avoid the temptation of their blood but what they represent but I can't.

"You look so beautiful tonight, babe", the man whispers into the ear of the blonde woman. "You ALWAYS say that…and that's why I love you", she giggles back. "Its cause it's always true…", he says as he holds her closer, shielding her from the cold wind blowing and the world around them.

I shut my eyes, and see Bella. See her smile, see her blush as I whisper how much I love her and how her beauty leaves me constantly breathless. Along with the visions I hear her laughing, saying my name, saying the words I never thought I deserved "…I love you Edward". I would live all my days with my eyes shut, reliving the days that made me feel alive, if not for the fact, that I would have to open them eventually. Open them to see the world that laid before me, a world without meaning, happiness, BELLA.

"Come back to ME", slowly entered the air. Spinning around, I find no one there, the couple boarded the train and no human being can be felt for miles. "Please come back…I NEED YOU, I WANT YOU, I CANT LIVE WITHOUT YOU", were felt within my head. The voice, the one sound I could find within a sea of thousands of others and seemed like pure music, Bella's voice. I knew deep down, down in the place where my heart should be, that it wasn't her actual thoughts but the pleads of my desperation.

"You're my life now". I uttered these words to her not so long ago, but now seem to pound in my mind. For months, I had considered turning back, giving in to the selfish-creature I am and crawl back to her. Could I now do it? Could I be strong enough to check on her and turn back? Would I want to? Would she want me back? Would she want me…at all?

I didn't bother answering any of my own questions as I ran to the airport. I needed to get back to America, back to Forks, back to Bella…


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2: Now starring Bella…

FORKS--Its been 8months since Edward left..

"I'll be right down", I shouted to Charlie. I have nothing to wear I yelled in my mind, like it matters I muttered to myself. This was going to be the third official date with Mike Newton, and the third time I had bombarded myself in my room.

"Belllllaaaaaa…You cant make Mike wait forever", Charlie shouted back. Mike had arrived TOO early, again, for the "date". We had agreed on 7:30 and here it was…7:15.

"5 MINUTES…", I shouted back. I knew my clothing options weren't the real delay, or the frustration with Mike's constant eagerness. I knew, my soul, and heart yearned for something I couldn't have and weren't in agreement with my mind about moving on. They felt betrayed and were angry that I'd had given up on the kind of love that only exists in dreams and only very few could ever imagine. Had I given up, I asked myself as I slipped on a new T-shirt, I had bought last week, when shopping with Angela.

"HE gave up on me…I'm doing exactly what HE wanted", I whisper as I took one final and defeated look in the mirror. 

The first few months after he left, no deserted me, had been hell, in every sense of the word. My short time with Edward had given me a taste of heaven, a piece of perfection, true happiness and having it ripped away, left a hole in not only my heart but my life. Food, water, friends, music, LIFE, didn't appeal to me. I needed him, as much I needed air, no MORE. Charlie often scolded me with words like Zombie, half-dead, and shell of a girl, whenever he got tired of me locked in my room. 

"Bella, life goes on. You have to move on. You have to live your life and enjoy your youth, enjoy your final year of high school, you have so much ahead of you. Don't let this be the end…don't let this break up, break you", he said, near tears. I knew he wasn't only talking about Edward and I but him and Renee'. "YOU CAN get through this. You WILL get through this…and be stronger for it", he declared.

My breakthrough didn't come that evening at dinner but several nights later, when in my nightly walks around the house, always in search of something, I had heard him crying. It was more like weeping, weeping that he couldn't get through to me, thinking he wasn't enough, he couldn't put me back together.

I knew then that, I HAD to get better. Even if I had to trick, pretend and lie to myself, I had to stop causing those around me pain. Even if I felt like the world had no real meaning, or the constant feeling of…emptiness. I was a ghost, not dead not living but I had to pretend…for Charlie.

I joined after school programs, participated in class activities, and actually started taking an interest when others would speak to me. My grades had improved, the lunch time crew had started to accept me again with ease, and the disapproving looks from Charlie had become scarce. I had them fooled, even at times, I too believed that things were getting better. 

It was at night, when I knew Charlie was sound asleep, I would cry into my pillow. Shout silent screams into my bed, as I struggled to understand how Edward could have just let go. Night time was when I couldn't escape the truth or the pain, that I would never truly be happy or complete. That my life from now on would always be an act. I would be playing a part, whatever the role called for, I would play it, as my real life had ended back in the woods.

I slowly took the stairs down to meet Mike and stop the rants from my father. "You look, umm….really pretty, Bella", Mike stuttered. It wasn't that Mike wasn't sweet or unattractive. He simply wasn't what my heart desired nor wanted.

"Thanks Mike, you look great too!", I answered back.

He had initially asked me out 4 months after Edward had skipped town. I don't remember what I said, but it had stopped him from asking for another 3 months. I knew that a part of "moving on" meant seeing other people, if only, to appease my father. When Mike has asked the group at lunch who wanted to catch the latest flick, I turned to him and said "Why don't we go together Mike"?

He froze for several seconds, lit up like a Christmas tree and squeaked out "Sounds great. Pick you up at 8:00". He bounced off as soon as I nodded, afraid I might change my mind. The movies was the first date and was as expected, uneventful and unappealing. The second date, dinner at a small diner outside of town, was also much of the same. I laughed when he said a joke, answered his inane questions, and even let him hold my hand, but inside I felt the like a liar, a fake. Tonight was going to be a concert, and I was slightly excited at the prospect of not having to speak the entire evening.

"We should probably head out now…you know, get good parking and great seats", I hinted to Mike. "Oh yeah, of course. Thanks for the coke Chief Swan", he nodded to Charlie.

"Be back around midnight. Maybe sooner, if they do a shorter set", I shouted to Charlie, as I grabbed Mike, my jacket and hustled out the door.

"Alright. Take care.", Charlie shouted back, gearing up for that evening's baseball game on t.v. He had become more lax with my curfew, ever since my "awakening".

"Bella, I'm really happy you decided to come out with me again. I always have such an awesome time with you", Mike uttered, as he led me to his car. "Me too.", I simply responded.

As I buckled my seat beat, I slowly pushed down my feelings of pain, desperation and hopelessness. I began to mentally prepare myself for another evening of pretending I cared. Another evening of pretending anything mattered. The rain from outside slowly hit the window, signaling the beginning of the charade.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3: FORCE OF NATURE

I don't know how long it took me to get there or even what day I had left or arrived. All that seemed to matter was the fact that I stood there. Several yards away from my heaven, my haven, the only place that could be considered HOME. Bella's window was slightly open…perhaps two inches from being completely closed. The wind had a slight chill, as the rain had just let up, wishing beyond hope that this was why my access to her bedroom was less than welcoming.

I realized sadly, as soon as I was a mile from the home that Bella would not be there. Her heartbeat could not be heard or felt for miles in either direction. Once I drifted closer to the Swan residence, her sweet intoxicating scent filled my senses, and again the desire to hold her in my arms filled my thoughts.

Charlie had finally gone to sleep, as I could hear his snores from the downstairs bedroom. When I arrived, he had been exactly where I imagined he would be, asleep in front of the T.V. After several hours, he had woken and headed to bed.

Several hours standing by the massive oak just outside the Swan home. Waiting, wishing, and hoping the right words to say would soon come. I hoped the delay would allow some time for me to come up with some sort of response to share with my love. A speech or explanation that would detail how utterly heartbreaking it was to leave but space, nor time could keep me away. That every single moment away from her supplied the greatest pain, I had ever felt in my whole existence. That she was more than my other half, she was everything that made me whole, made me count.

It was then, that I heard it. The most beautiful sound I had heard in the last 8 months, the sweetest music to ever grace my ears…her heartbeat. Slow and steady, slow and steady. It was also then I heard the other heartbeat, stronger, bigger, and most definitely NOT slow and steady. The stranger's heart jumped erratically and at a fast pace, as if its owner was preparing or anticipating a dangerous feat.

The old Toyota slowly made its way along the pebble path and pulled up several feet from the Swan driveway. The car's lights casting an eerie glow amongst the fog and vapors from the rained slicked atmosphere. It was then I heard his thoughts, his desires, his plan of action. I struggled against the overwhelming desire to rip Mike Newton from the car and tear him in two.

_God, I CAN do this. I CAN do this. She's just a girl. A beautiful, HOT girl, who's totally into you. I mean she's been on three dates with you. She wants this…she wants you to do it. God, how can she be so perfect…what I would do, if she just gave me the chance_..echoed within his mind. My fingers dug into the tree's bark, as I restrained myself from flying into a rage-fueled attack.

Bella, my beautiful Bella, slowly opened the passenger door as she uttered her goodbyes. Something in the way she spoke, made me cringe. Pain, suffering, this is what I heard in her voice. Though no one would ever sense this, I could tell immediately tell that all was not well.

"The concert was great! Thanks for inviting me and getting such great seats so close to the stage", she replied as stepping out into the driveway. Not waiting for Mike's response, she ran to the doorway, almost slipping on the wet rocks in her path.

"Wait up, Bella! I…ummm, wanted to ask you something, I mean TELL you something", Mike shouted after her. His heart rate increased as the number of breaths decreased. "I've had such a great time being with you. Seeing you smile, making you laugh, just being around me has made me…happy. You know?", he blurted out.

Bella was unsuccessfully trying to balance from foot to foot, and darting her eyes to her door that stood just a few feet away. "Me too, Mike. You're a really great guy and I've had fun too. Really, a lot of fun", she croaked out. She then turned to leave but Mike suddenly grabbed her hand, making her face him once again. He took the opportunity to step closer to her, now only inches from her face.

"Wait…I just wanted to kiss you goodnight. Every great date has to end with a great goodnight kiss" he whispered, pulling Bella's delicate face towards his lips. I couldn't take it any longer, my body couldn't allow this, my mind wouldn't accept it and the monster within me needed to appease the pain that ripped through my chest. I quickly grasped the oak and tore into the bark with my bare hands, the sounds of the tree slowly tearing apart matched the sounds of my soul doing the same.

The sudden noise caused by the falling tree made both Mike and Bella turn to the area where I had once stood. "What the…" Mike's scared voice trailed off.

"It might have been the lightening earlier this evening", Bella explained, sounding somewhat relieved for the distraction. "A kiss is in order, as it was a GREAT date", she sweetly said. She reached for Mike's cheek, gently rubbing at his ear and lightly kissed the side of his other cheek. "You're sweet. Have a nice evening, Mike", whispering while she let go of his face and ran up the porch stairs. "See you at school on Monday", Bella shouted before closing the wood door and latching the locks.

"Ummm, yeah, see you", Mike answered dumbfounded and dazed. He was gently rubbing the cheek Bella had sweetly kissed while thinking _Bella….Bella…Bella…_

My fists remained clenched and didn't relax till Mike's car was more than 5 miles away. If he had continued to think any more sickening thoughts about HER, I would surely have took his life. But my jealous rage suddenly turned to self-hated…I didn't deserve her, she should move on, it's only fair, its only right, its what needs to happen.

I WAS a monster who didn't deserve to be happy or have an angel as his own. She could be happy with Mike Newton or any other HUMAN boy. She wouldn't have to worry about things like death, vampires, and damnation with them. She could enjoy life, enjoy her youth and all that I could never offer.

Even though my resolve was to let her move on, I knew then I couldn't leave, not now, now ever. Even if I couldn't touch her, taste her, or simply speak to her, I would NEVER leave her side. I would always be with her, I would be there till she no longer was on this Earth. I then , would follow her into Death and into whatever evil awaited me…

I cant let you go, I will NEVER let you go, was all I could think as I slowly creped through her garden and effortlessly jumped on the ledge near her bedroom window. I had to be alone with her, simply watch her sleep as I had done so long ago. Watch her take every precious breath and pray to God, if he existed, that I could be beside her, holding her so close, that man nor monster could ever come between us…….


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4: Mirror, Mirror

"What just HAPPENED", I spoke aloud. Mike Newton had tried to kiss me. He was almost successful if not for the tree breaking. THANK GOD for small favors, I smiled as I shook my head and headed upstairs. I quickly checked on Charlie before making my way to the bathroom. Though the concert was somewhat mediocre, the music was loud and gave Mike and I no opportunity to really talk except smile and nod at each other at times. PERFECT. I was a better actress when I didn't have any lines to come up with. The entire ride back and forth consisted of small talk. His "romantic" declaration didn't come as a surprise, as I knew he was bound to try sooner or later, I just had hoped for later, MUCH LATER.

I wasn't ready for THAT kind of role just yet. My heart AND my body were in agreement with that. I just couldn't physically be involved right now. Holding hands for a few seconds was one thing, sharing a kiss was quite another. As I washed the date and my makeup away and prepared for bed, I chastised myself for being so naïve. Could I really live my whole life not being physical with someone? Could I float through life, simply going through the motions, never really living but simply existing? Bigger question…would I want to live like that?

Too many important questions that I didn't have the answer for tonight, I concluded as I shrugged my shoulders in defeat and headed into my bedroom. This evening unwanted "surprise" had taken a toll on me emotionally and physically and I didn't bother finding my pjs. I stripped down to my underwear and undershirt and walked slowly to the welcoming bed…and stopped in front of the full length mirror by my window.

I sighed slightly and looked deeply into my own eyes. I stood motionlessly there for several seconds, not sure what exactly I was looking for. I slowly lifted the cotton shirt over my head and threw it on the bed across the room. I then mindlessly stepped out of my matching underwear…and stood again looking hard into the mirror. I shut my eyes tight, fighting back tears, running my fingers across my collarbone and whispered "Why Edward…."? The feelings of unworthiness and despair suddenly came at me like a powerful gust of wind. Was it my body, the constant clumsiness, my utter lack of real beauty, or that I just wasn't good enough? I then realized why I was standing naked in front of the mirror in the middle of the night, why I was staring so intently at my own reflection. I was looking for whatever Edward had failed to see in me. I was looking for why he didn't want me.

The tears came easily then and I didn't even try to fight them, doing so would be futile. I hugged my breasts and sank to my knees and rocked myself gently, humming the lullaby that had brought tears of joy so long ago. I rocked there and had my moment of self-pity for several minutes before grabbing the quilt off the rocking chair, covering my nude body and slipping into the warm bed beside me. Through the crying had ceased, I knew tonight would not be any different from the nights before this one. I would not escape the loneliness, the despair and the painful memories that always brought my heartache to the surface. I sighed heavily, turning to the window and hoped that along with the dread, the raindrops falling on the roof would lull me to sleep. Sleep that would no doubt lead me to dream about my own personal angel, the only heaven I could ever want and the only man I could ever truly kiss and love….


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5: Indestructible….

Though the window was slightly ajar and had been slightly covered with dew, I could easily look into Bella's bedroom. The familiarity of seeing her rocking chair, dresser, closet, and finally bed, made the ache in my chest subside and intensify at the same time. How I wished I could be in her room again! The memory of sitting in her rocking chair, watching her prepare for school, smiling and holding back a laugh as she shrugged her shoulders in defeat and sighed "I give up". I had immediately leaped to her side and whispered in her ear "No woman on this earth will ever be as beautiful as you my Bella. No matter what clothing you wear, you always look magnificent".

I shut my eyes and began to shake my head, not wanting to think anymore of the past, as it wouldn't help my current situation. The urge to jump through the window, grab Bella and kiss her was overwhelming. Reminiscing would drive me over the edge. I had not been sitting there for more than 10 minutes when Bella stepped into her room and let out a sigh of exhaustion.

Though she had seemed to have lost weight, become somewhat paler, and looked like she had some restless nights, her angelic face almost made me tumble down the roof. She started to unbuckle her jeans and remove her sweater when I turned away, feeling that I was invading her privacy and was ashamed because of it. I allowed her some time to slip into her pjs and hop into bed before turning back around. Turning my head back to the window, I caught a sight that left me paralyzed.

She stood there, nude, looking as beautiful as any painting or sculpture, no…more breathtaking, as the clash of her porcelain skin and dark brown hair was more glorious than any image I had seen in my entire existence. She was looking intently into the mirror but it felt she was staring directly into my eyes, burning this image into my brain, heart and soul. As she closed her eyes and began to caress her delicate neck and collarbone, I prepared myself to burst through her window and hold her so close. As I leaned forward, prepared to pounce, she opened her lips and whispered "Why Edward", and began to weep. Though I was practically indestructible, the combination of Bella's tears and knowing I had caused her this pain shattered me completely. The pain was undeniable and excruciating as this emotional breakdown continued.

She was now crying and staring back at herself, filled with pain and self-hatred deep in her eyes. Hugging herself she fell down to her knees and rocked while humming the lullaby that she had inspired me to create. No words could describe the pain I felt watching my life, my heart, fall to pieces in front of me.

I wanted to hold her and tell her that I would NEVER leave again. That I had lied to protect her, that I couldn't live without her. Nothing mattered if she wasn't part of my life. She was my everything! I slowly lifted the window but stopped as Bella turned to the rocking chair, grabbing the quilt and jumped into her bed. I quickly but quietly pushed the window closed. She then turned to face the window and shut her eyes. Her face no longer displayed the serenity she had always projected while she slept, in its place was the sad face of a girl, readying herself for a night filled with heartache….


	6. Chapter 6

_**CHAPTER 6: Night Moves**_

_**So happy that I have a few fans of the story. Its in the early stages, so it really can go anywhere but for sure there will be some conflict between Bella and Edward, when they finally meet and then after. **_

_**We never got to see the anger( real love is fueled by many things including PASSION) that Bella must have felt, so I wanted to explore that.**_

_**Please comment and let me know what you would like to see happen or things I might not have thought of. These stories help me with my writing and I want to please a few readers along the way.**_

I could no longer wait, both sides of me, the man AND the monster had to take action. I had to smell her, touch her, be so close to her that I could prove to myself she wasn't a dream but my living, breathing, angel.

Bella had fallen into a deep sleep about two hours after slipping into the bed. She had tossed and turned for almost 45 minutes before succumbing to the exhaustion, emotionally and physically. 45 MINUTES of tears and whispers, so quiet that I could barely hear, of "Edward…why, I love you, why, I need you", "Sorry, please, no, don't, pleassseeee". All these words intermingling with the painful emotions that danced across her face.

What pained me more than the knowledge that I caused THIS, was the fact that I no idea how I would fix it. Fix Her. She was broken, in all the ways that mattered. Her laugh was no longer genuine, the softness that once resonated her words, now had an edge, and her eyes. The most glorious pools of brown, that were so warm and welcoming and gave a slight glance into her kind and loving soul, had been replaced by a vastness of indifference and defensiveness. 

FORGIVE ME, FORGIVE ME, FORGIVE…was all I could process in my thoughts as I easily opened the window and slipped through, careful to shut it just as stealth fully. Though watching Bella crumble before me had caused indescribable pain and still could be felt throughout my hollow veins, stepping into the bedroom, somehow eased the suffering. The warmth coming from the bed, Bella, her breath, flowed onto me and caused me to shiver. A sensation I thought was lost to me forever.

Vampires are known for our speed and agility but making the few steps from the window to Bella's bed, required the most careful of steps. With each meticulous step I took, the floral scent that had me consider mass murder the day I laid eyes on my angel grew stronger. The scent was more than intoxicating and desirable, it was…pure heaven. The sweetness of her breath along with the freesia aroma, had my mind and non-functioning heart in a tizzy. 

It was not the desire to feed, which still remained but would never be an issue as my love for Bella overpowered my need for her blood, but the understanding that I would have to leave her side as soon as morning came, made me stop dead(so to speak) in my tracks. Though I WOULD return and make it my mission to always be there, at this moment I didn't know if I had the strength to be so close to my reason for living and let it go, even momentarily. 

My selfish behavior won out again, as I ever so gently stooped to my knees and leaned into the bed, where Bella's head now rested on her pillow. If I could cry, it was then, when I would be doing so. I could no longer feel the pain that I knew waited for me outside Bella's bedroom. I was where I needed to be, where I had to be. Here I wasn't a monster, simply a man watching the woman he loved sleep. The emptiness that once plagued me, was now full with love and wanting. My selfishness continued as I lifted my hand to sweep back the hair that had fallen onto her face and gently placed the soft tendrils behind her ear. I had memorized her face back in our meadow but I smiled slightly to myself as I realized my memories could never do her beauty justice.

I longed to kiss her lips, and caress her soft cheeks that so often would blush at my touch. I feared that might awaken her and still unsure of my responses, I settled for her forehead and lightly brushed my lips across her porcelain skin, taking in every sense that awakened as I did. She sighed suddenly, breaking me from my trance. Still asleep, a smile was beginning to form on her face. Excited with my power to please her, even in her sleep, I pulled back and gently blew my breath upon her face, causing her long eyelashes to sway. Her smile became more pronounced as a similar expression crossed my face.

She suddenly shifted in her sleep and turned to face the other side of the room. Not even realizing my actions, I was at the other side of the bed before her entire body was facing the other way. That smile was more than I had deserved yet I wanted more, I wanted to feel her heartbeat that once again was pleasantly playing in my mind. My movements were so quick that the bed did not shift or betray me with any noise, as I placed my body directly across from my sleeping beauty. I arranged my body to mirror the exact position as Bella's, and then lowered my head to hover just above her chest. Pure music to my ears, the exact combination of her breathing and flutter of her heart.

I gently eased back to my position, less than several inches away from her resting body. The past 8 months didn't matter, whatever happened after tonight didn't matter. THIS, NOW, mattered. Bella was my world, my light, my everything. I stroked her fingertips and wondered how I spent so many nights without her touch. I vowed at that moment that I would do whatever it took to set right what I had made wrong. I would fix Bella, not to ease the guilt that would be with me till the end, but because she deserved to be whole, to be happy, to be the bright star that had guided me in a world filled with darkness, despair and loneliness. 

I closed my eyes, fully knowing sleep for me would never come, and began humming the song I had quietly sung that day in the meadow. That day marked the beginning of many with Bella, days that made me feel alive, whole and utterly complete. Eyes shut, I nudged my forehead with hers and whispered…"I love you now and until forever"…

_**Bella's Morning After**_

"You seem awfully happy this morning", Charlie stated as I sat down with my usual breakfast meal and dug into the bowl. 

"Really", I mumbled between bites. 

"You were just humming and you just seem…I don't know, you just seem happy", he said as he shrugged and looked back to the morning paper.

"Strange", I said and avoided any further questions by intensely reading the cereal box. I had felt different that morning. Surprisingly calm. That's what I felt, calm.

Though the night had started out like so many, tears, self-doubt, more tears and finally dreams and nightmares of the life and love I once had and would never experience again, I had a relatively good night. Exceptionally good, I thought to myself. I had had a dream, a good one, about Edward and myself.

We were in the meadow and spending the day looking into the clouds and each other's eyes. It felt so real and comforting. He was looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing he had ever laid eyes on and giving me the smoldering smile that always made me melt. "I love you now and until forever", he had said in the dream, right before kissing me and making the outside world fall away. 

Even thinking about those words made the lump in my throat appear out of nowhere and tears were suddenly fighting to make their way down my cheeks. STOP! I shouted at myself. It was a DREAM, get over it and move on. It was just a dream.

He's gone and not coming back I proclaimed. Don't let your dreams trick you, Bella. 

I didn't care. The vivid dream had me feel alive again, if only for the night and some of the morning. It made me feel like he use to…complete. I allowed myself to replay the dream in my head once again while I ate my breakfast.

As soon as the dishes were clean, I was back to "normal" and spent the entire day doing tasks and work that took my focus off Edward and back on moving on. 

I realized I had to work on my willpower as that evening I went to bed early hoping that the night would mean another dream, another opportunity to feel…something. I was wishing for a hopeless cause I realized. I wanted to hear Edward say I love you again, even if it was only in my dreams. I would take whatever I could get…..


	7. Chapter 7

_**I never actually thought I would gain more than 2 readers, including myself, so I am beyond happy that others are enjoying the story. Leave a comment saying what you would enjoy reading, tell a fellow fan fiction friend(love that alliteration) or simply just let me know it doesn't suck. **_

_**I realized that retelling the action from both perspectives(Edward's and Bella's) might not be as exciting as telling two different stories and eventually have them spectacularly meet. So the following chapter is Edward centered BUT future good parts will have some E and B POv**_

_**Without further ado,**_

**CHAPTER 7: Difficulties**

I never wanted that night to end. I was immortal but the only power I craved then was the ability to freeze time and space. I would never have to leave the bed that held the most precious gift I had ever been given. Bella and I could remain together forever and never face the uncertainty and reality of the death that awaited her and the eternal damnation that I couldn't escape.

I unwillingly let go of the strands of Bella's hair I had twisted in my finger and ever so gently kissed her cheek, as morning drew closer. She would be waking in the next few hours and though I always wanted to be the one to greet her to each new day, the time for our reunion would not be today. I required more time to process my thoughts and my plan of action for making her happy once again. "Till tonight" I whispered before slipping out the window and into the early morning, still dark yet strays of light streamed over the horizon.

Running through the woods felt so normal, so utterly freeing. The cool morning wind gently tickling my skin as I blurred past trees, streams, and wildlife. The only thing this thrilling experience lacked was my constant, my Bella. When I had run with her through these very woods, it had felt natural yet at the very same time, exhilarating. Running with her, I had always imagined ourselves escaping all that threatened to break us apart, both human AND monster alike.

I stopped approximately 10 miles from Bella's home, not to catch my breath as I had no need for air, but for lack of destination. Back in Europe I had failed to think of where I would be staying once I returned or anything else besides finding Bella for that matter. Our mansion had not been sold and I was fully aware no HUMAN would dare trespass or visit the house but could I simply just go home again? I needed a place to think, to gather the thoughts that now cluttered my mind. More importantly I needed a place that I could remain hidden until I was certain I had to be seen. What better place to be myself yet still remain a mystery, I smirked.

The pathway to the "Cullen Mansion" as the Forks townspeople called it, was still easy to find among the massive trees and gigantic bushes of green. Stopping to take in the familiar site, I realized that time hadn't changed our house. The house still seemed magnificent, grandstanding and fantastically solid to all human eyes. What a perfect metaphor for what the home housed, I smiled bitterly to myself as I took the steps to the front door. I knocked but feeling completely silly, I pushed the massive door wide open and simply said to the emptiness that welcomed me, "Home, sweet, home".

All the antique furniture had been covered with white sheets and the pieces that Esme could never "live" without had been shipped and delivered just days after moving into wherever the rest of my family had decided to keep on the charade. Forks would always be home for me. Forks was were my life had began and taken on a purpose.

I did a quick tour of the home, half for security issues and the other, reliving the first time I had shown Bella the one place that I didn't have to pretend to be something I wasn't. It was more than relief I experienced that day. It was joy. Joy in knowing I was sharing something special with her, and she in return happily accepted me, monster and all, with open arms, mind and heart.

Weaving in and out of each of my family member's room, I felt a slight vibrating in my pocket. "Cell PHONE", I stupidly blurted out loud while whacking my forehead with my right palm. I had forgotten all about the stupid piece of technology that apparently had followed me from overseas. But who would be calling me now? My family members had stopped trying to contact me weeks ago. They would occasionally phone but only leave messages that begged me to check in with them. I appeased their pleas with brief text messages that said "LEAVE ME BE…IM BETTER OFF ALONE".

Not bothering to check the caller id, I flipped the phone open and pressed the tiny object to my ear. "GET OUT of my room EDWARD!!" , the tiny yet powerful voice shouted. Alice…of course. I became aware of my surroundings and realized I stood in the middle of the room that once was Alice's and Jasper's. The room with the best view, Alice used to say.

"Alice", I deadpanned into the phone. "What is it exactly you think you're doing", she demanded right back. "Besides causing me a migraine", she added quickly.

"When did you see me returning", I asked while strolling out of her room and shutting the door behind me. "Thanks. About a day or two, depending on the time zone, before you left your last place of residence", Alice sarcastically responded. "I told Jasper and some of the others that you were going back but we didn't want to contact you and risk you doing something dumb. You tend to be very stubborn and beyond dramatic when it comes to my visions and your future", she sighed.

"I appreciate you worrying about my well being but its unnecessary and a waste of resources. I'm not even sure myself what I plan on doing here. I just know I HAVE to be HERE. I have to fix what I left broken", I whispered into the phone.

"Its not going to be easy. Edward, I'm not sure you realize just what SHE went through while you were gone. I'm not so clear myself, honestly. It would make things a lot better if we were all together, as a family", Alice explained back. "We could support you. We miss and love you, even if we know better", she laughed.

"NO. I'm solely responsible for the mess I've made and I need to deal with it. I cant really drag others into this until I'm sure where exactly I stand, not only with Bella but in Forks as well. The sudden arrival of the Cullens might cause more trouble than its worth at the moment", I declared to Alice.

"STUBBORN. AS. EVER", she said, slowly saying each word. "I make no promises brother but I will however let you deal with things your way. For now".

"Thank you. I do love you all but without her in my life, I'm no good for anyone or anything", I choked out.

"Is she o.k", Alice asked? Her tone suddenly filled with sympathy instead of the usual energy it always carried.

"I imagine you know as much as I do. BUT I will tell you this. I will make her better Alice. I can bring back what made Bella,…Bella", vowing yet again.

"I'll keep my predictions to myself as you wouldn't believe me anyway. But Edward, I meant what I said when I said it wasn't going to be easy. Its going to be hard and painful and…" I stopped her before she revealed anymore.

"I don't deserve anything BUT difficult. I'm ready and willing for whatever my punishment will be for leaving the only person who ever captured my heart and soul. I made my choices and will now have to face the consequences".

"As you wish brother", she responded back with a hint of sarcasm. "I'll see you….soon", she giggled before ending the call.

"Goodbye Alice", I said to the now dead line.

I now stood in my room and faced out the huge window. I had the sudden urge to call Alice back and get any details she could share regarding Bella and I. Did she see us together? Was Bella willing to forgive me? Could I make her happy again? The question that I desperately wanted her to answer only required a one worded response. **Did Bella still love me? **Selfish as it was, I could only wish beyond hope that Bella still felt something for me. If she only felt a fraction of the love that ached within me, I could live out the rest of my existence in complete ecstasy.

Shutting my eyes, I concentrated on the noises around me. Somewhere deep in the forest a pack of deer were rummaging through some leaves. About 5 or 6. Just enough to ease the burning that seeped down my throat and flowed deep into the pit of my stomach. I had not fed for…longer than I could remember. I had to feed the monster that lurked within me. The beast always had to be kept in check in order for the man to remain.

I flew downstairs and breezed out the door, focused on my meal for the evening. "Its not going to be easy", pulsing through my thoughts.

"It never is"….I sighed, racing through the woods in search of my prey.


	8. Chapter 8

_**I'm really getting into the storytelling, so my mind is everywhere right now. I have ideas that I want to flesh out, so really bear with me!**_

_**Also fair warning for people who are sticklers for Twilight continuity. Keep in mind that in my story, Edward left Bella mid summer before Senior year, so it puts her in the final semester before graduation, thereby prefacing some of the discussions had by the characters. But honestly, just enjoy the story for what it is, an exercise in creativity!**_

_**Also I have relatives visiting, thereby limiting my access to my computer for a day or two BUT this means I will have so much to give in the next chapters. I seriously thank all who have commented, as I get encouraged and excited from what you all say**__**J**_

_**Ok..enough of that…**_

**Chapter 8: THE CHOICE**

"Noooooo", I groaned, knocking the alarm clock clear off the bedside table with the swing of my left arm. It fumbled to the ground, silencing the annoying shrieks that had woken me from my deep and much needed sleep. I stared up at my ceiling not moving, mindlessly wrapping my fingers round the strands of hairs that framed my face, and replayed the previous night's dream.

The last two weeks had been just like so many days before it, except for the nights when I lay all alone in bed. The nights when I let down my defenses and guard and allowed the memories of love to seep back into my mind and heart. Usually this meant also experiencing the painful realization that I no longer possessed the kind of love that only exists in fairytales but somehow without my knowledge, things had changed.

The dreams seemed to gain strength and become more real and vivid as the nights went on. The dreams also had become more thrilling and imaginative. In the dreams, Edward would solemnly tell me of the lonely days before me and then excitedly speak of the plans he had for our future. He spoke of being together forever, nights of falling asleep in each other's arms and vowing that ours was the kind of love that could never be broken. The locations would change; running through the forest leaving the outside world behind, in my bed snuggling so close we never knew where his body started and mine ended, his mansion walking hand in hand as he lovingly gave me a history lesson starring each and every family member and finally my favorite, our meadow- surrounded by the flowers, the soothing sound of the stream, and I laying my head on Edward's shoulder while wondering how I got so lucky.

Unfortunately reality would also creep into my fantasies. In several dreams, Edward and I were in my bedroom, staring at each other with tears in our eyes, as he slowly explained why he left and all that had occurred while away. I never let myself remember how those dreams ended, just that I often woke with my hands clenched around my pillow.

"Bellaaaaa…you going to be late for school, if you don't hurry…NOW", Charlie beckoned from downstairs. Though he had to be at work early and usually left while I slept, the past few months he had made it a point to stay and have breakfast with me at least once a week. "Quality time" he explained. I knew it was more of an emotional checkup, see how I was doing and if there was a possibility for relapse. It had also become more like career counseling, as graduation loomed only months away.

"GOT IT…DAD", I shouted back, limping out of bed, suddenly excited at the prospect of returning and experiencing another round of dreams starring my own personal god. I quickly dressed in my trusty go-to outfit, comfortable jeans, decent top, warm sweater and my favorite pair of converse. My lack of choices and the fact that fashion never appealed to me, was more of an advantage on days that left me scrambling for time. I hustled downstairs not wanting to hear another warning from my living, breathing alarm clock.

"Ah, you cooked", I said as I sat down to the only meal Charlie could handle quite nicely; eggs, some kind of meat product, and hash browns.

"You cant have cereal everyday. Variety is the spice of life, kiddo", Charlie smiled at me, putting the morning paper aside and digging into his own plate of food.

"Thanks for that little life tidbit", I replied between bites. I could already sense what was coming and wanted to eat most of my meal before flying out the door. Running late for school was also another excellent escape route from Charlie's badgering conversations.

"Time flies don't it. What now, you have how many days till graduation? Can't believe you'll be done with high school already…WOW!" he exclaimed. "Had a chance to think about what you'll do once you're done"?

"Ummm…join the Army or the Air force, I always wanted a cool call name", I bitterly answered back. We had had this conversation before and I was in no mood to discuss it again. I honestly didn't know what I wanted in my future or cared to think about what tomorrow would bring. My life consisted of surviving day to day. Planning for the future meant planning a life without Edward, something I wasn't prepared to do. The battle between reality and what I desperately desired raged on.

"Dammit Bella! You have so much potential and you're just…wasting it". "You're grades are back in fighting shape, your extra curricular activities rival any honor students, and all your teachers would gladly write recommendations. Believe it…I asked them", he proudly stated.

"The fact that you're a powerful law enforcement officer, had nothing to do with it, right", I sighed back. Great! Now I had my teachers in fear of offending my father. Since this wasn't the first time Charlie had bombarded me, I had my lines already prepared.

"Look Dad. My grades are good but not great. I was in limbo for awhile, lets not forget and it takes more than glowing letters from frightened instructors to get into a good college. I've already checked out some online courses that are offered at the community colleges in Portland and Seattle. I planed on working for awhile, earn some money for school, take some basics online, and THEN I will consider what college to attend". I ended with the smile I always saved for situations such as this. The "happy now??" smile.

"Oh. Well, ok. That's sounds reasonable enough. I just don't want you to waste your future Bells! You're something special…always have been, always will be", he whispered, choking on the last words. I hated it when he let his emotions out. Not because I didn't appreciate or realize how much he loved me but because it was that much harder to pretend and lie to his face.

"I'm going to be late for school Dad", I whispered back. Battling the tears that wanted to fall, I quickly jumped up, kissed Charlie on the forehead and made my way to the door before the tear works could begin. I gathered my book bag and duffle bag crumpled by the stairs. "Thanks for breakfast Dad. I'll be late tonight. Got a meeting, practice and may stay afterwards for the pep rally", I shouted before slamming the door shut.

The barrier broke as I got into the cab of the truck. Tears began to flow from my eyes and I didn't know if I could stop them, even if I wanted to. These were not just tears for Charlie but for myself. Yes, the nights had gotten easier yet it made the days that much harder. Each morning, I was yanked from the world where everything made sense and fit, a perfect place where Edward and I were together, and thrown back into real life. A life that I didn't really care about enjoying, simply surviving.

Driving towards Forks High, I also realized why the tears continued to drop from my eyes. I didn't know what the hell I wanted! I wanted to give a damn, I wanted to enjoy my youth, I wanted to stop pretending. I wanted all this…but that meant letting go of Edward completely. Letting go of the idea he would return, that he would once again take me in his arms and shield me from all the evils in the world, that he would kiss me and make the pain a distant memory.

But I couldn't let go? Could I? Edward was everything I never knew I always wanted. He was not only perfection personified, he was the reason I had been put on this Earth. I was created to love and be loved by him. Grasping at the possibility of his return kept my heart from shutting down completely but it also meant keeping myself chained to my act.

My options were to A. Move on, this time for real, let go of Edward and any hope of ever experiencing that kind of ferocious love again or B. Hope beyond hope that Edward WOULD return and continue playing the role of the normal, happy girl, a demanding part that had already taken its toll on me mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I couldn't make the decision just yet, I decided as I pulled into the school parking lot. This was one particular choice that required much thought, consideration and sleepless nights. I couldn't make a life shattering ultimatum such as this so quickly. NO! This wasn't go to be easy.

It never is, I thought pessimistically. After all, ours was the kind of love that could never be broken…

_**Sorry to intrude in the story but just wanted you guys to know that some of this isn't just filler. I really wanted show the parallel feelings that both Edward and Bella are experiencing right now. This was also help in visualizing and understanding Bella's actions down the road. **_

_**Ok, just explaining myself before people started thinking, "where's the action". Its coming but you gotta build to a climax, or else your simply falling off a building.**__**J**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Sorry for those who have been waiting for more chapters, as my house guests were more of a handful than I thought.**_

_**I appreciated the comments, and agree that I tend to get "wordy", so I'm trying to work in more dialogue, which is good practice for when Bella and Edward meet. When? Hopefully soon, as I am very excited myself to write that chapter. The following felt necessary for the Mike storyline and I really think Mike got the short end of the stick in the novels, as he seemed like a decent guy who just fell for the "wrong" girl. I honestly think he would have had a chance if not for Edward/Jake, so don't hate me if he's really sympathetic here.**_

_**I also hope to provide more chapters to make up for the lack of my updating.**_

_**Love the feedback, so be truthful but hot hurtful**__**J**_

**Chapter 9: The Breakup**

"Ms. Swan?… Ms. Swan… Bella!" Mr. Christianson shouted from the chalkboard, clearly frustrated with my lack of attention.

"Umm..HERE", I absently responded back, turning my head away from the window that I had been staring a hole through.

"You sure about that", he acidly asked? "Ms. Swan, we were discussing whether Jane Austen's most classic novels could be considered both feminist and sexist and I had wanted your always deep thoughts on the matter". "Perhaps I should check back, when you are "HERE" both physically and mentally", he sarcastically added.

Turning my signature red, I flipped my hair to the other side and quickly glanced down at my notebook which was now covered in questions marks and random thoughts.

Mr. Christianson returned to the chalkboard and started up again with the class discussion. Advanced English lit class had always been a favorite of mine as we so often discussed and revisited stories and books I had read several times before. But not even the familiarity and escape my favorite books offered could detach me from the unanswered questions lingering throughout my body.

The entire morning had dragged along slowly, as if the day purposely wanted to keep me away from the night. Going from class to class, the noises and sounds that echoed around me began to all jumble together and all I could hear was the personal debate in my head. The scratching of the seat behind me pulled me out of my trance yet again.

Jessica was turning her chair around from the position in had been in. As she twisted her body and head to face the front of the classroom, she glanced my way, and I suddenly realized from the look in her eyes, she had been talking about me to the person behind her.

I smiled weakly at her, mouthing "Hi". In response she merely nodded her head and looked straight through me.

"Ugghhh" I groaned remembering another reason I had dreaded waking up this morning.

Ever since Mike's declaration that night, I understood that I would have to end our "romantic relationship" ASAP. We hadn't gone out since that fateful date and his constant work hours and demanding sports schedule had delayed the inevitable. I was going to have to "BREAK UP" with Mike Newton today.

I had tried to find a way to do it easy, simply tell him that he was more of a friend than anything else, but the execution of my plan worried me. Jessica's cold treatment to me, which began almost the exact moment I had agreed to go to the movies with Mike, was yet another weapon in my endless supply of excuses for my not wanting to date Mike Newton. I now just had to find a way to not be so hurtful.

The bell rang, signally the end of class, beginning of lunch, and the moment I wasn't going to enjoy. "All right, we'll pick up were we left off next class. Don't forget, oral essay presentations are next week. PREPARE!" Mr. Christenson shouted, trying desperately to grab a hold of someone's attention, as the students dashed out the door.

To avoid any conflict or embarrassment, I had planned to talk to Mike before we all made it to the lunch table. I REALLY didn't need any kind of audience. As expected, I found Mike at his locker, fumbling to keep all that he jammed there from spewing out.

"Hello Mike", I offered up. "Do you think we could talk just for a little bit? You have been so hard to catch up with these days and there was something I really needed to say", I blurted out.

"Oh. Sure thing Bella. I'm sorry I haven't been available lately but my parents needed me to work extra hours and I have had so many away games", he replied. I could tell immediately he was uneasy of what was to come. He searched my face looking for a sign, anything that foretold what I was thinking. I hoped he found it, maybe if he anticipated this, prepared for it, it would be easier.

"Let's go out to the breezeway. I could use some air, and not too many people hang out there during lunch".

He quickly shoved his books into his locker and slammed the locker door shut forcefully. I had turned and walked towards the door, when I unexpectedly felt Mike slip his hand into mine. NO! This was going to be harder than I thought.

We walked hand in hand into the breezeway that faced the trees and unspoiled forest that surrounded the area. I could feel the slightest hint of moisture on my palm, unsure if the nervous sweat came from me or the person I was about to hurt. Once we stood several yards from the entryway, I took a deep breath, unlocked my hand from Mike's and took two steps away from where he stood, trying desperately not to look away or break eye contact.

"Mike", was all I got out before he put his finger to my lips.

"Don't", he simply said. "Please don't say, what I think, no, what I KNOW, you're going to say". He waited several heartbeats before closing his eyes and saying "You just want to be friends, right"?

"Yes", I whispered.

He looked away, trying to hide the tears that mingled with the hurt and anger on his face. I waited several minutes to speak, to give him time to recover.

"You are such a wonderful person and a terrific guy. It's not that I don't want to be with you or feel for you in that way…it's just that I can't. I look at you and see a sincere and genuine friend. I care for you…just not the way you need me to", I sputtered out.

"Feelings change. People change. I CAN change", he said, not looking at me but beyond into the forest.

"Don't you dare, Mike Newton. You are a great guy and I wish I could see you as more than a friend but deep in my heart, I know that won't ever happen", I cried out. It hurt me to see him in pain but I knew if I carried on pretending, it would be even harder on him.

"Is it because of HIM? You deserve so much better, Bella. I could never hurt you like that. If you let me, I'd make you my world and then give it to you. Isn't it worth a shot", he asked, looking deeply into my eyes.

The very mention of Edward made the pain in my heart swell, and I had to look away, not wanting Mike to think the tears that wanted to come were for him instead of Edward.

A gust of wind flowed through the breezeway, hitting my face and providing much needed relief. I quickly composed my emotions and carried on with the issue at hand.

"This is not about what's happened in the past. This is about us and making a decision that's fair for the both of us. You deserve to be with someone that can truly appreciate you and love you the way you need to be loved. You deserve to be happy", I answered, truthfully.

"What about you? What's going to make you happy", he asked?

"Knowing that I did the right thing, letting you go as a boyfriend and holding on to you as a friend. That…that will make me content and satisfied", I declared.

"If that what it takes to make you happy. Then that's what I'll do", he glumly responded. "But it doesn't mean I'll ever stop caring about you. I can be your friend without giving up on the hope that I can be more than that".

"Thank you Mike. For understanding and for being you", I said, not sure how I should respond from his last statement.

"Friends?" he asked, as he stuck his hand out in front of me.

"Great Friends", I smiled back, extending my hand and shaking his. He took that opportunity to pull me into a tight hug. With his arms around me, he whispered into my ear "You'll always be someone special to me Bella Swan. Thanks for making me feel good enough, if just for awhile".

He pulled away, still firmly holding onto my shoulders, and lightly kissed me on my cheek. He immediately let go of his hold and turned away.

"See you later Swan", he said, grabbing his bag and swiftly walking back to the door.

"See you Newton", I said, slightly waving to the back of his head. I stood there watching him walk away, knowing I had to do what I just done.

I strolled down to the picnic tables that rested just a few feet from the breezeway, taking a seat to on the bench farthest from the school. I didn't want to think anymore about the pain I was causing people. People who just wanted to care for me but I couldn't let them.

I shut my eyes, blocking out the sounds from the school and its inhabitants, and concentrated on the senses emitted from the forest near by. Though it had yet to rain today, the smell of the moist trees and moss that grew all over the ground entered my nostrils and along with the wind blowing, brought back a freeing feeling. The freedom I had felt with Edward when we would run through the trees, leaving the outside world behind.

Eyes still tightly closed, I started a one way conversation, saying the words that needed to be released.

"Edward. Where are you"? "I miss you every single minute of every hour, of each and every day. Everything I look at, hear, or think about reminds me of you. And I try…so hard to forget you but I wont let myself forget the greatest thing that ever happened to my life", I whispered, my voice breaking towards the end.

"Do you think about ME? Or are the distractions in your life able to erase the memory of me…us? Decades from now, when you're still 17, and I'm…will I matter to you? Even if I'm just an afterthought to you, the memory of you and the love I felt for you will stay with me till the day I die." I declared to the light wind that blew the hair around my face.

Mindlessly, I got up from the bench and walked towards the edge of the forest, stopping several yards from the massive trees. I again closed my eyes and wished for that sense of freedom to come back.

"Edward". The shrieking bell, signaling the end of lunch awoke me from my daydreaming. I turned to walk away and head back towards the never ending day, when I heard the snapping of wood and dry leaves behind me.

I quickly swiveled my head around, my eyes searching the woods for whatever lurked there. I scanned the area and came up empty for what hid in the forest.

"Just an animal I guess", I reasoned. The hunger in my stomach also had earned my focus, as I slowly retrieved my book bag and headed to class. I would most definitely need to grab something from the vending machines before the end of classes, as I had a full schedule that evening.

My desire to keep my mind off Edward had made me quite the joiner. I had a student council meeting at 4:00, swim practice at 5:30, and the pep rally, which I had promised Angela and Ben I would go to kicked off at 7:30. It was going to be a very long day.

The second bell, a five minute warning for all students still not in class, went off as I hurried to the door. I was so involved in getting to class; I never noticed the rustling of leaves and movement in the trees that occurred just behind me.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Didn't mean to make the last chapter a cliff hanger but it did give me an idea on how to carry out the story. So here's more Edward POV to enjoy and you can speculate on what was in the woods. Don't get restless as the "meeting" is coming soon and I have some juicy ideas.**_

_**Hope you like this!**_

**CHAPTER 10: ROUTINE**

I watched her. I never STOPPED watching her, unless to feed or the occasional visit back at the mansion. From the moment I returned to Forks, my only purpose was to be sure Bella would be safe and happy.

Though being away from her all those months had been insufferable and pure torture, watching her was quite something else. Being close enough to touch and speak to her, yet so far away and frightened to actually do so, was causing me indescribable pain. I knew that I couldn't carry on like this forever, as my restraint was becoming more and more questionable.

Each night I crept into her room and lay right next to my angel, I would push my luck that much further. I would stay longer each night, not wanting to leave her side until the last possible moment. At times, I would be hovering out her window as her eyes fluttered open. I also began to speak to her while she slept, entire conversations, knowing full well she couldn't hear nor comprehend my words.

I spoke to her about how much my life had changed the moment she breathed life into it, or detailed my happiest memories of her. Some nights, when the guilt was too much, I even told her of my travels since I left. I spoke of the lonely nights that lasted days at a time, the darkness that I carried within myself and the feeling of nothingness that consumed me.

Watching her the last two weeks allowed me to memorize her routine and know exactly where she was anytime during the day, feeling secure that her nights were all mine. I felt guilty invading her privacy but I realized it was necessary for her safety and MY own well-being.

Home, School, Work. That's what Bella's days consisted of. She also had implemented group sports and extra-curricular activities into her life, seemingly wanting to use up any time alone with herself. Alone with her thoughts. Thoughts of the hurt I had caused.

I smiled to myself bitterly, as I realized my betrayal had pushed Bella into considering sports as a viable option. I never thought Bella would be one for organized sports but she had found her place within the swim team.

Watching her practice the past few evenings, I was amazed how graceful and powerful she seemed beneath the water. Only coming up occasionally for air, she seemed at ease and real. With no pretenses or act to hold up, Bella sliced through the water, easily surpassing her team mates in the other lanes. She was in control, in her element. I had hoped that this activity honestly gave her the sense of contentment that she faked with all the others.

This morning watching as she ran to her truck in tears, tears no doubt brought on by me, I knew that I could no longer take it. Tonight! Tonight would be the night I would reveal myself to Bella and beg her to forgive me. I would walk on my hands and knees and plead with her to take me back and pledge to do whatever it took to get her to accept the monster within me and love the weak man who had abandoned her, once again. Tonight I would be throwing my self at the feet of the one who mattered the most and pray that she could look at me the way she used to, the look that truly made me feel invincible.

I followed closely behind the old Chevy, careful that Bella would not notice me rushing through the woods beside her. I had made sure to keep my newly acquired vehicle at home, as I only utilized the automobile when my running wouldn't suffice or I was sure she couldn't possibly see the thing.

Once Bella reached the school and headed towards the double doors deep in thought, I took one last loving look at her before heading back to the house. I knew she would be safe at school till I could return and see her home. She would be there all day and most of the evening. Sensing no immediate danger and hearing only random thoughts from the children arriving at the school, I turned and rushed into the waiting woods. I had to prepare for tonight.

Silly as it was, I wanted to look as best I could tonight and also had hoped to bring Bella back to the house to talk. If we were going to speak freely and have the opportunity to discuss things, we would need to be away from Charlie. I needed to make everything perfect, a small gesture of compensating for the damaged being I was.

As I was no more than 3 miles from my home, the small plastic phone began to vibrate in my pocket. "Not now, Alice. I have to make things just right for her. For my Bella", I answered to the inanimate object. I was making a checklist of supplies in my head as the buzzing stopped yet picked up again several seconds later.

I had no time to talk as I quickly entered the garage and jumped into the shining new vehicle. I was a man on a mission…I had to try to dazzle my soul mate yet again and see if there was a place for me, in both Bella's life and most importantly, her heart.

_**Ok, that was a small chapter as I have to get ready for some drama and the next will be longer and have more drama, Edward should have picked up his phone!! Love to get some advice on what kind of car Edward should have. The Volvo is gone but I wanted him to still have some nice wheels, so I thought maybe a BMW, Mercedes, Saab, or something equally impressive just not too flashy. Oh, so if it wasn't Edward in the woods, who could it have been?? I'm working on it**__**J**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hope you all like this one. I intermixed Bella's and Edward's POV but you'll understand as the story continues.**_

_**As always, let me know what you think!**_

**Chapter 11: Abyss**

Never in a million years would I have thought I would be here. Isabella Swan, the unchallenged Queen of all things awkward and reining champion of most clumsy human being in the world, sitting on bleachers while listening to a pep talk from a coach, MY coach!

"Alright ladies, you all did great today but if we are going to make it to the finals and then on to state, we gotta step up our game", roared Coach Mackenzie. She was a tall, muscular brunette, who in her hey-day had been a competitive swimmer but now a days, could be found inspiring and training young swimmers.

Several months back, when I decided I would have to at least "try" to move on, I knew that my only chances of seeming normal was to do normal things. Things like participating in school groups and….organized sports. Swimming just seemed liked the safest choice; no big balls or fast flying projectiles to consider, no uncomfortable uniform to don, and most importantly, no talking involved.

When I joined the team, with only 5 girls on the team try-outs was never an issue, I thought I would simply, for lack of a better word, float on and not making any waves. I would just do as I had been doing all along, going with the motions. That all changed the moment I dived into the pool.

Submerged and completely weightless, I no longer had to keep up the act that plagued my days. I could be alone with myself, yet the painful thoughts that attacked me at times like this, could not be felt in the water. All I could and would concentrate on was my breathing and choreographed movements. Here I could be me, and not worry if others could see what sadness dwelled within me. Things like gravity and my lack of gracefulness didn't matter here, I was at peace, I was in my place. I was even more shocked when I found I was one of the better swimmers on the team.

"Ms. Swan…Bella. Do you mind holding back just a sec", Coach Mackenzie, asked as all the girls, including Angela, dispersed to the locker rooms nearby.

"Sure Coach. What's up"?

"Bella, I wanted the opportunity to tell you how proud of you I am. You are one of the best swimmers we have and honestly, a really great athlete", she gushed.

I tried to keep from laughing when she said "athlete" but instead just answered, "Thanks Coach".

"You have really improved since you first joined us and I see great things coming up for you. You have the talent and skills, you just need the focus. You know what I mean", she asked staring intently into my eyes.

"Umm, yeah, of course. More focus, more concentration", I dumbly said.

"ALRIGHT! You got it Swan", she enthusiastically yelled before grabbing her whistle and clipboard and headed to her office.

"Focus". "All I have is focus. I just cant ever have what I'm most focused on", I glumly spoke aloud, turning to change with the others. Before I had a chance to reach my locker, Angela bounced in front of me, a mix of uncertainty and excitement on her face.

"You ok, Bella"? " Everything ok with Coach"?

"Oh. Yeah, that…that was just her idea of a one on one motivational speech", I laughed.

"Great! Ben and I are excited for the pep rally and love that you're going with us! Afterwards, a bunch of us are all going out for burgers and ice cream to celebrate Mikes big win last week and hopefully next weeks win", she excitedly shared.

Though the very thought of food made my empty stomach growl in anticipation, the idea of spending an evening with a bunch of people along with Mike made me rethink my response. I hadn't eaten since Breakfast, but my desire to avoid any more awkwardness and uncomfortable silence with Mike challenged my hunger.

"Actually Angela, I may not be able to join you guys tonight. Coach was really coming down on me hard about practicing and that if we want any chance of competing in state, I would have to "bring it". HARD", I blurted out. I hated lying to Angela but it was necessary.

"Alone", she asked worried?

"Oh, no! Of course not. Coach is in her office and will come out to "encourage" me soon", I assured her, lying through my teeth.

She searched my face but didn't push any harder than she usually did. "Ahh. That's too bad Bella. I really wish you could make it but I understand. To tell you the truth, I think you already surpass us all in the swimming department but practice makes perfect, right", she teased.

"Right"!

"Ok. Well, give me a call later if you wanna talk or share some giggles over what happens tonight", she said, giving my shoulder a squeeze and walking back to the locker room to change.

Watching her leave, I felt a twinge of guilt yet I was somewhat exhilarated at the idea of swimming alone in the pool. I would have the water to myself. No need to race through my lane or think about who was to my left or right. Just me and the abyss, both in my soul and in the pool in front of me.

Though swimming alone was against the rules, I didn't care and honestly didn't feel it would be a concern. This was my only time to be me and let myself be free.

Knowing the worse had already happened, the love of my life had left me in pieces, there really was nothing else to fear. When you have nothing to live for, you really have nothing to lose, I thought morbidly.

Placing my goggles over my eyes and preparing to dive, I thought to myself "What is there to fear now"?

_**Edward's POV**_

I had spent most of the day buying the items I would be needing that night, candles, dozens of roses in different colors and various things that reminded me of my love.

Most of the candles had been set out already and I was in the process of placing rose petals all over the ground, that I hoped Bella would walk on again, when the familiar buzzing began.

Alice had called me several times that day, before I decided I had enough of her constant nagging and turned off the phone. I had only turned it back on when I realized she might provide some assistance with tonight's plan. I wasn't going to answer but thought better of it and brought the phone to my ear.

Before I had a chance to answer, Alice screamed into the phone "What the hell is wrong with you! I have been trying to reach you all day…did you not care what I had to say"!

"Alice, what's wrong…why are you so upset", I asked exasperated.

"Edward, you have to get to Bella NOW! I've been having visions of her, bad ones. I wasn't sure what to think of them because they were fuzzy at first, like she was still debating her actions. But now I know for sure she's in danger! I tried calling you this morning to warn you not to let her out of your sight but YOU NEVER ANSWERED!!", she said in one breath.

"Edward? Edward, did you hear me? EDWARD! Go quickly".

I was already out the door and in the car the moment after she uttered "Get to Bella NOW". I raced through the roads, not caring what I struck or having any intentions of slowing down till I reached her. I couldn't risk losing her, not now, when I was so close to having her brighten my existence once again.

Without her, the darkness would be permanent. I could already sense the light fading as I inched closer to the school.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Ok, I hope the following chapter lives up to expectations but don't worry as its just the beginning, we'll get to some more of the emotions coming up. **_

**Chapter 12: Bargaining **

I took one last breath and went under.

I was all alone with nothing to distract me but the sound of my heartbeat, slightly increased due to the sudden activity, but even then the nothingness around me felt safe and comforting.

My body slipped through the water as my arms fought against the waves that my movements created. With each stroke, I got that much farther from whatever I didn't want to face. Left arm, then right, left, right, left…the rhythm was soothing and felt natural, freeing. My lungs ached for air but I refused to resurface, the pressure though painful, made me feel ALIVE! I waited till the last moment to pop up, gasping for breath.

I had swum several laps but the rush was still there, my heart wanted more but my body felt otherwise. My lack of food was affecting my energy level and I could feel my muscles beginning to weaken yet tighten all at the same time. Again, my emotions and physical state of mind couldn't see eye to eye.

"One more lap", I said triumphantly, telling myself that I would eat as soon as I finished. I needed to feel free again; I needed to feel…something, before transforming back into what other's thought I should be. I inhaled deeply and pushed my body away from the wall and began the trip back to the other side. As expected, once I reached the end, disappointment floored me.

"NOW, food", I childishly scolded myself. I swam over to the pool ladder and pulled myself up from the water. As I stepped out of the pool and began walking along its edge, my vision became blurry and the strength that I exhibited a few minutes ago now was gone. My legs became unsteady and the floor seemed to be giving way so quickly. I tried to steady myself but realized there was nothing to grasp for support. Everything suddenly seemed to slow down…

I was falling and I had no control. My head felt weightless, but the feeling was short-lived as a sharp pain ripped through me when my forehead banged against the pool ladder's railing. A warm liquid was beginning to run in my eyes but I lost consciousness right before my entire body crashed into the welcoming water…

The car was slowly reaching 120 yet it wasn't fast enough. Though I had perfect control over the car and it's increasing speed, all my mind could concentrate on was Bella. I couldn't think of what would happen if I was too late. I didn't let myself even consider the possibility as I swerved into the parking lot and dashed out of the vehicle, leaving the key still in the ignition.

I heard the thunderous sound of claps and yells from the gymnasium and zoomed past the lockers towards the double doors. Before I could burst through them, I suddenly realized Bella was not at the pep rally. Her heartbeat could barely be heard but it certainly wasn't coming from the gym.

I followed the faint sounds and in seconds found myself at the pool but before I even got close to the water I could smell blood, HER BLOOD. The intoxicating scent rushed up my nose and flowed throughout my entire body, waking the hungry beast as it did. The venom in my mouth began to build, my primal senses at high alert, ready to feed.

Diving into the water I never gave thought to what the monster within me would do, but instead rushed to her side. Bella's body seemed doll like as her arms floated above her and legs dangling lifelessly below. Her face seemed emotionless, as the deep cut above her eyebrow seeped blood into the water around her. The fact that the blood continued to flow, gave me hope that she hadn't been under for too long.

In faster than a blink of an eye, I was pulling her precious form from the pool, my hands never leaving her head. I dragged her to the side of the pool and struggled with what to do next.

I had to save her but realized if I was too careless I could end up taking her life instead of saving it. I gently put one hand over her chest and ribs and slightly pushed down several times. I could hear the water whooshing within her lungs as it was slowly making its way near her airway. Mindlessly sobbing tear-less cries, I hovered over my angel, gently opened her mouth and breathed air into her. "Breathe Bella, Breathe my love", I whispered over her.

My desperation increased tenfold as her weak heartbeat became barely audible, even to my ears. It was then I could no longer hold on to my sanity and began to beg for her life.

"PLEASE…..God, listen to me here and now. I have caused so much pain and destruction in the past and committed horrors beyond belief but GOD PLEASE, don't punish me by taking her. I deserve your wrath, I deserve death and damnation, not her! Don't take her. DON'T TAKE HER FROM ME", I pleaded.

All my strength was gone, my purpose was gone, I was gone. I cradled Bella to my chest and silently begged her to forgive me for failing her. I began to rock her back and forth, humming our lullaby.

"I love you. I loved you the first day I laid eyes on you and haven't stopped since. I'll love you from this life into the next. It's not the end…I WILL NEVER LET YOU GO".

I carefully placed my life on the hard tile floor and shut my eyes.

I knew what I had to do. I didn't want or desire this but I couldn't let Bella leave. I couldn't let her go, not when I knew I had the power to keep her with me. Keep her forever. Love her forever.

Picking up her delicate arm, running my fingers along her beautiful face and kissing her sweetly on the lips, I prepared to do the unforgivable.

_**Ok people don't hate me. I didn't mean to make this a cliff-hanger but I really wanted to explore Edward's reluctance to "turn" Bella and what would it take for it to actually happen. Also I'm writing this at 12:30, so I'm drained. Will it happen? I hope so….but right now?**_

_**Find out Next Chapter**__**J**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13: 2****nd**** Chance**

_**Bella**_

Darkness surrounded me and I had no feeling throughout my body yet I wasn't scared. There was no terror, no horror at the sudden realization that it was the end. I wasn't scared but completely at ease.

Whether it was my mind trying to deal with the shock or simply a preview of what was to come in the afterlife but all I could think floating into oblivion was Edward. With the thoughts came the relief. The emptiness was gone and filled with the purest love. The weight of the world no longer fell upon my shoulders, as I no longer had a choice to make, fate was making it for me.

I was not going to fight this, I would go easy into the dark, life had lost it's pull long ago.

The thoughts of Edward became more real as I faded. I could now hear him, hear him calling my name. Pleading with me to return to him and how much he loved me. I wanted to yell to him that I was on my way, that it wouldn't be long before we would be together forever. It was then I felt the pressure against my chest. That was then followed by a familiar scent being blown into my mouth, Edward's scent.

I wanted more, I NEEDED more. This small taste of ecstasy had me struggling to hold on to this moment. His voice, more clearly heard now, was filled with sadness as he pledged to love me forever. Despair filled each word and I couldn't help but want to hold him and block the pain away.

My fingers and toes began to tingle as if awakening from a long sleep. This "rebirth" traveled throughout my entire body, finally reaching my ribs and lungs. Water rushed up my throat, and had me automatically spurting it out my mouth.

I was dazed and confused, not really sure what had occurred, but one thing I was certain of, I was still alive.

Lying on the cold tile floor, still feeling the effects of the fall, drowning, and head wound, I felt cold arms wrap around me and an angelic voice cry out "Bella".

_**Edward**_

Could I do this? Would I be able to stop? The monster inside was powerful, hungry, and desired to take everything Bella's tiny body could offer. If I bite her and succumbed to the hunger, I would not only lose my life but have her blood on my hands.

It was worth the risk, I sadly decided, opening up my eyes and slowly bringing her tender flesh to my lips. "Forgive me love", I whispered and drew open my ravenous mouth.

I felt the tiniest sensation while holding her delicate arm but it was enough to make my dead heart skip a beat. I waited and watched, looking for another sign of life, something that let me know God had heard my cries and had mercy on my soul-less existence.

Her fragile form begin to twitch ever so slightly and I heard the sound of water being forced out her lungs. I shifted her body, so the water could easily escape from her lips. She coughed the unwelcome liquid from her mouth as her eyes began to flutter with life.

I could not contain my joy and the excitement I now felt at this opportunity for a second chance. This precious gift would not be wasted on me, I thought picking her up in my arms and wanting never to let go.

Her body struggled to cope with the physical toll it had just experienced as her eyes still remain half closed. The gash above her eyebrow was just beginning to clot but I grabbed a nearby towel and pressed it against her head, wanting to stop the flow of blood and any chance of enticing the hunger the dwelled inside me.

Having her so close to me, after almost losing her, forced me to shower her face with small kisses. I continued kissing her, creating a trail down her neck, up her arms and then her tiny fingertips. How could such a small and breakable being have such a forceful pull and hold on me? What could someone so pure of heart and soul ever see in a monster like me? I had no answers for my questions because I at the moment, I didn't care. Bella was alive and the rhythmic sound of her heartbeat and breath created a beautiful symphony in my ears.

Our reunion would be short lived as I heard several pairs of footsteps approaching the pool and with them came the thoughts.

_I knew she was lying but I didn't push back. I should have NEVER let her practice alone. What if something happens? How could I ever live with myself. Bella, please be ok._

Angela's panic could be heard in my mind, and she wasn't alone. With her, she brought with her Ben, Mike and the swim coach, Ms. Mackenzie.

_Bella, you can be so careless sometimes. Why can't you just let other's in? We're going to have to talk. Even if you don't want me as a boyfriend doesn't mean I don't care as your friend. _

Mike's thoughts had me both equally angered and thankful. Bella was loved and cared for by many but that really came as no surprise.

They would be arriving soon and I hadn't made up my mind as to how to proceed. I looked down to my angel, who was slowly awakening from this unwanted sleep. Deep down I wanted to run away with her, take her home and never let her leave. We could shut the whole world out and make a life away from those who dared tried to separate us. I knew while surveying the scene that this was not going to be possible.

Once the humans arrived and saw the sight of blood and no Bella, there would be too many questions and too much pain and uncertainty for Charlie. This would just cause more complications in an already bad situation.

I would return for her, explain myself, it would just have to wait. I brought her face close to mine and nuzzled my face to her warm neck then brushed my lips against her forehead.

"I'll come find you love. I'll always be here", I spoke into her ear, placing her away from the water and next to the bleachers.

The footsteps grew louder, as I leaped to the windows and slipped through before the double doors burst open.

**Bella**

I fought against the cloudiness that flooded my mind and the heaviness that made my eyes so difficult to open.

I wanted to see him, I wanted to look into his eyes and say all that my heart had wanted to say that day in the woods. The day he left and took my purpose for living with him.

His silky voice no longer sounded defeated but joyous as he said my name. The way "Bella" rolled off his tongue made me want him to speak my name forever.

In an instant, before I could even utter a word or fully look at my personal god, he was gone. I was still fighting the urge to sleep when I heard the familiar voices of Angela and Mike.

"OH MY GOD! BELLA!", Angela shrieked.

"Bella", Mike simply shouted as several pairs of feet ran towards me. I was using all my strength to sit up as Ben, Angela, Mike and Coach Mackenzie all surrounded me.

"Don't move", Coach Mackenzie shouted at me.

"Oh god! Look at your head, Bella. Why would you lie to me", Angela said, tears in her eyes.

"I'm ok," I croaked out. I was preparing to stand and trying to find my balance when Mike and Ben rushed to either side of me.

"Bella, you shouldn't try to stand up so quickly", Mike warned. "You have a nasty cut and you might have a concussion. We should take you to the hospital".

"I'M FINE", I declared. "I didn't eat, so I fainted but I'm ok now. I'm fine. Where did he go", I asked, shaking their hold on my arms.

"Who," they all asked in unison?

"Edward. He was here, he saved me. He rescued me like he always does. He told me he loved me", I responded, emotion filling each word.

"Bella, I think you need to sit down and eat something. Here have this", Coach Mackenzie said while handing me a power bar and water bottle and forcing me to sit amongst the bleachers.

Though I wanted to argue and force them all to believe me, I gulped down the food and drained the bottle dry. The water felt so good sliding down my burning throat and the lightheadedness was no longer so strong.

"I have to go", I finally said decidedly. "I have to find him. I have to talk to him".

"Dammit Bella! STOP IT! Edward is gone and he is NEVER coming back! Stop making him out to be the hero in your little scenario," Mike shouted angrily.

We all stopped and gazed at him, not sure how to respond.

"I'm sorry. Bella, I'm sorry. You're hurt and I didn't mean to yell. You just really scared me…scared us all. Now you're talking about seeing Edward and it just…got me angry", Mike explained, only looking at me.

Wanting to break the tension Angela spoke next. "Bella, why don't we drive you home and you get some rest. It's been a long night…and you been through a lot".

"Yes, that sound's like a good plan", Ben simply agreed.

"Bella, what the hell were you thinking! You know the rules! You NEVER swim alone", Coach Mackenzie said, staring a hole into my eyes.

"I'm sorry Coach, I just wanted to practice and I got caught up in the moment", I said. "I'm fine really. The cut on my head is fine and I'm not feeling dizzy anymore. This wont happen again, I learned my lesson", I apologized.

I stood up and pushed away the pairs of arms that wanted to force me back down.

"I appreciate your concerns and so thankful you guys care so much but I'm FINE. I can drive myself home. I don't need to be escorted or babysat", I spoke aloud, suddenly frustrated. I had to find him. I KNEW he was there. I didn't imagine this or dream it.

Edward was here and had left yet again without a word.

"Bella, I don't think that's such a good idea. What if-", Mike said. I cut him off before he could continue.

"Mike. ENOUGH! I'm going home, NOW!", I shouted. My sudden outburst surprised and shocked them all.

I sighed heavily and tried to do damage control before I caused more suspicion over my state of mind.

"I'm sorry. Like you said, I have had a long day and I just want to go home and rest. I've had close calls before, I'm seriously OK", I pleaded.

"Your cut doesn't look deep. Keep putting pressure on it, bandage it when you get home…but please see your doctor or even the school nurse tomorrow. Don't even think about swimming again till I know you have a clean bill of health", Coach Mackenzie said in her best parental voice.

"Call me as soon as you get home, Ok", Angela begged me, clasping Ben's hand for support as she spoke.

Mike remained quite, skepticism and hurt in his eyes. He looked as if he wanted to tell me something but thought better of it.

"Cross my heart," I smiled at Angela. I grabbed my duffle bag from behind the bleachers and quickly ran to the locker room to change. I threw on my sweatpants and Fork's High hoodie over my swimsuit, fastened my Puma sneakers and ran for the exit. I didn't want to waste anymore time.

Before I had a chance to run through the exit doors, I felt a arm pull me back. It took me awhile before I realized it was Mike holding me away from my escape.

"Bella, I never meant to hurt your feelings. I just care what happens to you, even if you don't seem to. Be careful…ok? Not just tonight, or around pools, but just with everything in general. Protect yourself because you don't give other's the chance to do it for you", he said.

I waited a moment before responding. "I will Mike. I cherish your friendship more than you'll ever know", I said matter of factly before rushing out the doors towards the parking lot.

I was on a mission and nothing was going to stop me. Dumping my bags into the bed of the truck, so many questions flooded my mind.

When did he return? How long had he been in Forks? Why did he return and was he going to stay? Why save me and then leave? WHY?

The engine roared to life as I shifted the truck into drive and made my way towards the Cullen's mansion. I had hundreds of questions that seemed to double as I got closer to the house. I would get my answers I swore to myself, driving towards the one place I never planned on returning to.


	14. Chapter 14

**Sorry for the long wait but my life has been all about work these days. Unfortunately I havent been able to fully focus but like you who are reading, I NEED to know where this is going.**

**SO….**

**Chapter 14: Apologies**

The rain that had begun to fall covered the roads leading back to the mansion but I returned within minutes.

My clothes were still soaked from diving into the pool with Bella, and the showers from above didn't help. I wanted a change of clothing before making my way to Bella's home. I knew she would eventually seek refuge there and I would be there waiting as well.

I needed to explain my actions, ALL my actions and beg her for forgiveness. I couldn't fathom what her response would be but all I could concentrate on was seeing Bella again. Her heart was beating and she was the center of my universe, now and forever.

Rushing up the stairs to my bedroom, I heard the familiar buzzing noise coming from one of the rooms downstairs. I answered the abandoned cell phone after the first several buzzes, not allowing the phone call to head to voice mail.

"Don't bother changing or heading to her house. She's on her way and she's understandably confused, angry, pensive and just generally erratic. It would be best if you stayed put", Alice's solemn voice answered.

"Why is she headed over here", I asked myself aloud, now suddenly unsure of my thoughts, actions, or responses. Bella arriving here changed things for some reason.

"Can you blame her? Edward-you've been gone for almost a year, leaving her an emotional wreak. She ALMOST dies and suddenly you show up, save her life and leave yet again. She's demanding answers to questions that I even have myself", she answered, exasperated.

"How long", I whispered, still confused, unaware that I was headed towards the family room that housed my piano. I refused to take it with me when I left and Esme assured me that it was solely mine to decide what to do with.

"10 minutes, maybe less. She seriously pushing the Chevy and all she has on her mind is getting there. Don't try to cut her off, either. The mansion is the best place to have it out. Charlie's at home and there's no point in arguing in the rain--yet", Alice responded.

"Alice….what should I say or what is SHE going to say and do once she sees me", I asked. I didn't seriously want to consider the possibility of Bella telling me she didn't love me. What made matters worse was the fact that this was entirely possible and understandable on all accounts.

"Edward, I wish I had a definite answer for you. She's having so many thoughts and hasn't come to a decision yet. Her body's still in shock, not from the drowning but your return. She wont let herself commit to one thing or another. I'm sorry".

"Thank you Alice. It's better that way. I have to face whatever consequences that lie before me and I don't deserve any preparations for whatever may come."

"Edward, We love you and PLEASE call me. WHATEVER occurs, please don't shut me out. I love you Brother", Alice emotionally said into the phone.

"Goodbye Alice", I said, snapping the phone shut, being sure to remove the battery as I did. I didn't need any more distractions or premonitions for tonight.

I looked around at my surroundings and realized that the entire home was pitch black. I didn't require light but Bella would. Rather than turn on the house's power box, I quickly lit all the candles that adorned the entryway, the stairway and the room I currently occupied.

Once I knew there was enough light for Bella to navigate through the house, I automatically sat at the piano and placed my fingers on the keys.

I had not played since I left Forks, what was the purpose. The most beautiful music I ever played or created was inspired by Bella. Without my muse, the music, notes and lyrics disappeared. Shutting my eyes, I began to think of the love Bella brought into my world. Love I had never experienced in my life, both as man and monster, pure love. These thoughts made my fingers mindlessly move across the piano as music poured into the room.

_**BELLA**_

The trucks engine protested as I pushed my foot roughly against the gas pedal. I was close now, maybe a couple minutes from the house.

I had never been back to the Cullen home since Edward left. It was too painful to return and get a glimpse at a life I couldn't never have back. A life with a loving family and a wonderful man.

The home came into view as the wind-shield wipers violently slapped against the window. The rain had finally came and was now pouring down on the town of Forks and it's citizens.

I couldn't help but gasp at the sight of the magnificent structure. It had not changed one bit since I last visited. There it stood in all its alluring beauty.

Putting the truck into park, I took a deep breathe and tried to mentally prepare myself for what was to come. I looked at my reflection into the rearview mirror, sighed sadly and looked back at the perfect mansion. No lights could be seen from the driveway but a small fuzz of orange and yellow could almost be recognized from one of the outer windows.

Slowly jumping down from the truck, I took my time walking up the steps to the Cullen door. The rain was drenching my entire body but I didn't care and really didn't notice. My eyes were transfixed to the door that was slightly ajar, as if someone was expecting my arrival and didn't want me to bother knocking.

Completely soaked now, my sneakers made a squeaking noise as I pushed the heavy door open and stepped into the huge entryway. Though the house was covered in darkness, candles lit up the doorway casting shadows throughout the downstairs rooms. All the furniture was covered in white sheets but this couldn't disguise the home's gorgeous look.

Breathing heavy now, dripping water as I walked, I heard the music. Not just any music, MY music. Edward's lovely lullaby could be heard coming from the family room, along with equally sweet music that I had never had the pleasure of hearing. I followed the music, candles and rose petals, which I had just noticed littered the entire floor, to the room that held what I wanted most.

Entering the room, I saw him and was once again knocked breathless by his perfection.

His back was towards me as he played the piano but this could not obstruct the view of his statuesque form. His cooper colored hair was wet and glistened whenever the flicker of the candles caught its attention. All his clothing appeared to be as wet as mine but this allowed for better viewing of his muscular body. His broad shoulders moving ever so slightly as his hands danced along the piano keys.

Standing there watching him play, I had no control of my actions or thoughts and didn't realize I was speaking until I heard my tiny voice whisper "Why".

The music came to a halt then as he slowly lowered his head and turned to face me.

**_Yeah! Finally some Bella and Edward convo. Not sure if it will be Edwards POV or alittle of both but one thing I do HOPE for is that you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it!_**

**_UPDATE SOON!!_**


	15. Chapter 15

**_Chapter 15: Unfair_**

I heard her whisper "Why", and was suddenly broken from my trance at the keys.

She hadn't sneaked up on me, I heard the fluttering of her heart while she drove up the gravel path, but her presence then made me weak in the knees.

I turned to face her and different emotions hit me, each more forceful than the next. Sorrow, pain, guilt, desire and longing flooded my senses, making moving almost impossible.

Bella was in her school sweats, soaked from head to toe but I had never seen her more beautiful and utterly sad at the same time. Her brown hair and clothing dripped water where she stood, creating a small puddle on the hard wood floor. She seemed so delicate and fragile, ready to break at the slightest touch. The cut above her eyebrow was red and inflamed, causing such a contrast against her pale, white skin. My instincts wanted me to immediately take her in my arms, place her near a fire, and try to keep her warm.

Ever so gently, I heaved my body off the seat and stood to face Bella. I was more than 5 feet away from her, being careful to provide some sort of boundary she might have needed.

"Don't stop on my behalf, it was amazing. You always were the best at whatever you did", she said, emptiness filling her words. Her eyes remained glued to mine and all I could see was her. I saw her eyes brimming with tears and her reluctance and determination to keep them from coming.

"You inspired it. Each and every note. I think of you and the music just seems to play itself", I answered truthfully.

"DON'T. Don't say things you know I want to hear. Don't pretend for me….", she trailed off.

The doubt in her voice made me involuntarily step forward, wanting to kiss away any questions she had regarding my love for her. As I slowly made a movement towards her, she raised out her hands as if pushing against an invisible way and whispered "Please. Don't".

I remained where I stood and waited for her to speak again, not sure what to do or say next.

"Were you even going to say "Hello"? Did you have any intentions of ever coming to me and letting me know you were back? Or was this simply a rescue and leave mission", she finally said bitterly.

"Tonight. I was going to come to you tonight. I was planning on telling you everything. I didn't anticipate your fall into the pool. If I knew, I would have approached you sooner. Done better protecting you", I responded back.

"Sooner? How long have you been in Forks? Have you been watching me? Why? Why ALL OF THIS", she yelled visibly upset. The tears could no longer be held back and slowly flowed down her cheeks, creating a trail for all that were to follow.

"Because I love you.", I simply said.

"STOP IT! Stop saying that, when I know it's not true. What you have done to me isn't LOVE, its torture, the worse kind" Bella cried out.

"Torture"?

"Telling me you loved me. Coming into my life the way you did. Becoming my EVERYTHING, making me feel…whole, when I never realized I was incomplete. Offering me a life I couldn't have ever dreamt of. I gave you my entire heart, without you even asking for it. Then just as suddenly snatching it away, deserting me and transforming me into nothing more than an afterthought. A distant memory. Edward, you illuminated my life and then left me in the dark", she choked out.

"Bella, NO. Don't you see, I left because I love you. Love you more than you can ever imagine or most other's think is possible. I love you more than myself, that's why I left".

"You abandoned me because you love me", she spat out. The tears continued to fall as she clutched her fists to her side, bottling the anger that desired to make itself known.

"Bella, I thought if I left you could finally be free of all that I had chained you to. A life full of danger and death. Free you from a monster who could kill you with the slightest misstep. Free from eternal damnation and the pain and suffering that came from waiting for the end. You deserved to be happy and safe, and I wanted to give you that. I thought it was the one thing I had the power to grant you".

"Freedom", she laughed. "Since the very moment you left, I have been a prisoner to the memory of you and the love I thought we shared. I have been sleepwalking through my life without you, wishing that maybe someday I would wake up from this nightmare."

"I'm beyond sorry for leaving and lying to you, Bella. I don't know how I can ever express the regret I have. Regret that eats away at me as we speak, killing me softly every time I see you cry, knowing I created the pain that torments you. Bella, you're my reason for existing", I exclaimed, burning my eyes into hers.

"How can I believe that, WHY should I? You broke me Edward, don't you understand that? You looked into my eyes, like you are now, and told me you DIDN'T WANT ME. I never imagined someone like you could ever desire someone like me, and I was right. All the fears and doubt I had about myself, all came true," she uttered, shutting her eyes, as if she was taking herself back to the days in the woods.

"Oh, Bella. Don't you see it was the only way I thought you would move on. You are the only person I have ever wanted. Never in over a century have I EVER wanted someone or something as badly as I want you. Love, I more than want you, I need you. It took me leaving to realize that without you, there's no real reason to go on".

She began to shake her head furiously, having an internal battle within herself. "No, no, no. You can't do this to me…you cant become my world, leave me then return and declare your love for me. It's not fair to me or my heart, Edward.", she pleaded to me, as she opened her eyes and sadly looked to the ground.

I wanted the ground to open up and take me then. I had hurt her and rightfully she was angry and inconsolable but I yearned for her forgiveness. All I ever wanted for her to be was happy.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was before her at my knees, clasping her fragile hand. Just feeling her warm skin against my icy palm, made the nerves throughout my body come alive.

"I did leave you but you NEVER left me. I couldn't escape the thoughts and memories of you. Every time I closed my eyes I would see you, see your smile that always brightened my day, hear your voice, smell your scent. Bella, you have become a part of me without even trying. You have a unbreakable hold on my body and mind that time, distance or forces beyond our control could never weaken. Please allow me the chance to prove to you how much I love you. I'll love you for forever", I uttered, kissing each single finger tip on her small hand.

I heard her sigh, a sign that I hoped meant she was considering what I had said, that she believed every single true word I said. She lovingly ran her fingers through my wet tangled hair, the way she use to when we were alone without a care in the world. Feeling her touching me again sent a bolt throughout my body, and I yearned for more.

"Its not fair. Why is life never fair", she whispered.

She suddenly yanked her hand from my grasp, turned and ran towards the door. I was dumbfounded and unsure of what to do. I didn't want to let her go but she was right, how could she forgive me for the awful way I treated her. She had deserved better and I had failed her. The prospect of watching her go and doing nothing was too much to bare. I bolted after her, running into the rain and making myself a barrier to her truck.

I wasn't going to let her go without a fight. I had almost lost her forever once that night, and I wasn't going to standby and watch it occur once again.

I waited in the rain for her. I would wait for her forever.


	16. Chapter 16

_**I'm sooooo happy that you guys liked the last chapter as it was actually pretty difficult to write, in the sense that I WANTED Bella to forgive Edward but in order to get where we're going I couldn't make it that easy. Sometimes forgiveness is hardest when it's the people we love the most.**_

_**This chapter gives some insight into Bella's mindset during that convo, so I'll tried not to just rehash what was last said but give some reason behind her actions.**_

_**Thanks, enjoy the read and comment if you can!**_

_**PS. To whoever commented about the chapter that was ALL underlined, my apologies. It was me simply being a dork and not formatting before submitting the chapter, and didn't mean anything. I will go back and fix it but remember it's the imperfections that make us who we are**__**J**_

**Chapter 16: Perfection**

He turned to face me and his power over me returned instantly. I couldn't breathe and my heart seemed as if it was going to burst out of my chest.

"Don't stop on my behalf, it was amazing. You always were the best at whatever you did" I said, not entirely sure what words to speak. As he rose to approach me, his form made me weak in the knees.

Time had not changed him. As he was the first day I saw him, he looked absolutely breathtaking. Perfection personified. He wore a black button up shirt that clung to every muscle on his torso, even more so as it appeared soaked straight through. His chiseled body filled out his outfit correctly in everyway possible. Even wet and disheveled, he could easily be confused as a runway model.

His perfect lips came together and began forming words. "You inspired it. Each and every note. I think of you and the music just seems to play itself".

It was then, as he spoke in his velvet voice saying the sweetest words I could only dream he would utter to me again, that the pain and anger began building in my chest. I honestly didn't want to be angry. My heart and soul ached to have him hold me. They wanted me to run to him, throw my arms around his neck and never let go. I wanted him to kiss me and make the past months all a bad dream. This is what I wanted but my mind and emotions were on the offensive and in protective mode.

From then on, the conversation, the one conversation I had waited for, for so long, had both my heart and mind speaking on behalf of myself. Each taking a turn and having a response for whatever my personal guardian angel would say to me.

The doubt that plagued me and anger that ate at my soul could only respond with bitterness. "DON'T. Don't say things you know I want to hear. Don't pretend for me….".

He slowly made his way to me. I know he could have easily been at my side before I blinked my eyes but this small gesture of carefully approaching me, made me began to melt inside. NO! I couldn't have him so close, putting my hands up defensively. My will would not be strong enough to not touch him if he got any closer.

Without thinking, simply wanting to ease the struggle within myself, I began the interrogation. I had come here for answers, for reason behind his actions, for closure, I sadly realized.

I asked about his sudden arrival and somewhat indirectly if he planned on staying. How pathetic I thought, already anticipating his departure but full of hope that he would stay.

"Tonight. I was going to come to you tonight. I was planning on telling you everything. I didn't anticipate your fall into the pool. If I knew, I would have approached you sooner. Done better protecting you", his angelic voice responded.

As I was processing this, the anger began to build yet again and the rage exploded just as the tears involuntarily fell from my eyes, leaving a damp coolness on my overheated face. The questions and my words spewed forth, not entirely sure what I was saying or asking from him.

From his expression, his face was in a permanent frown and his eyes looked as if he too wanted to cry, I knew whatever I had said saddened him. What a strange sight I thought, a perfect statue on the verge of tears.

"Because I love you", was all I heard.

How could he be so cruel! My heart longed for those words, and at the very mention beat rapidly, wanting nothing but to hear them again. But it was my mind and the memories burned there, that brought reality crashing back down. Love? No, what I had felt all those months while he was away was pure hell, torture even. I told him so.

"Torture", he uttered, pain stricken and confused.

I couldn't hold back then. I explained the depths of desperation I had reached throughout my isolation. I spoke of the emptiness that was constantly within me. The fact that when he left, he took my heart, soul and everything that mattered with him. And the darkness that encompassed me, no matter how hard I tried to find the light or pretended to see in the dark, it still remained.

"Bella, NO. Don't you see, I left because I love you. Love you more than you can ever imagine or most other's think is possible. I love you more than myself, that's why I left", he tried to explain. I could see despair in his eyes as he declared his love for me. Despair I was all too familiar with.

His logic made no sense and I couldn't hide my resentment when I responded to his declaration of love.

"Bella, I thought if I left you could finally be free of all that I had chained you to. A life full of danger and death. Free you from a man who could kill you with the slightest misstep. Free from eternal damnation and the pain and suffering that came from waiting for the end. You deserved to be happy and safe, and I wanted to give you that. I thought it was the one thing I had the power to grant you", he cried out to me, pleading with me with his eyes and words.

I felt myself laughing at his assumption that leaving me was granting me freedom. Freedom? The only time I truly felt free was when I was with Edward. Caged was the emotion I experienced during his absence. I was stuck in my own personal nightmare, a world without Edward. Worse was the fact that my nightmare never ended when I woke but instead began when sleep wouldn't come.

"I'm beyond sorry for leaving and lying to you, Bella. I don't know how I can ever express the regret I have. Regret that eats away at me as we speak, killing me softly every time I see you cry, knowing I created the pain that torments you. Bella, you're my reason for existing". Seeing as his lovingly said these words, I believed him. I could literally see the pain he felt now. Every muscle in view flinched at my words.

I didn't want to hurt him, seeing him in pain caused me pain tenfold. I would never willingly hurt him but his words back in the woods bounced off the walls of my mind as he made his apologies. "I DON'T WANT YOU", echoed inside my heart. How could he love me? I was nothing special and lacked any redeeming quality that would grab the attention or true affection of a man like Edward. The sudden realization of inadequacies caused me to voice my doubt.

"Oh, Bella. Don't you see it was the only way I thought you would move on. You are the only person I have ever wanted. Never in over a century have I EVER wanted someone or something as badly as I want you. Love, I more than want you, I need you. It took me leaving to realize that without you, there's no real reason to go on".

The walls were slowly crumbling down, the exterior I had put up so many months ago was beginning to falter at his sweet voice and delicate words. NO, Bella, my mind shouted. Don't you remember the pain, the agony he caused when he said goodbye. How can you forget that? The confusion was too much to bare as I shook my head side to side and voiced my indecision aloud.

"It's not fair to me or my heart, Edward", was all I heard myself saying, as I cast my eyes to the floor. I couldn't risk looking into his golden eyes and completely giving in, like my heart and soul yearned to do.

Before I had an opportunity to look up again, he knelt before me, grasping my hand. Waves of ecstasy crashed into my body, feeling his cold, marble like skin against my own flushed skin. The pit of my stomach flipped, not from hunger for food but full of desire for him to touch all of me, to feel the icy coolness of his perfect form all over.

"I did leave you but you NEVER left me. I couldn't escape the thoughts and memories of you. Every time I closed my eyes I would see you, see your smile that always brightened my day, hear your voice, smell your scent. Bella, you have become a part of me without even trying. You have a unbreakable hold on my body and mind that time, distance or forces beyond our control could never weaken. Please allow me the chance to prove to you how much I love you. I'll love you for forever", he whispered gently, kissing each single finger tip on my hand.

GOD! I felt myself slipping into him, letting go of the fear, anger and confusion and simply giving in to my want. His lips against my fingers, all I could imagine was his lips on mine. This wasn't fair! My body and heart craved to give themselves willingly to him but I couldn't deny that voice in my mind that still screamed at me to never forget.

"Why is life never fair", I asked myself before making a dash for the door. I had to run, I had to escape before I fell into that familiar place. That warm and comforting place where all that mattered was Edward. The place that I would have done anything to be welcomed back to but now feared as I realized, if I accepted this invitation, there would be no turning back.

I knew what he was capable of, and I was no match for his speed or strength but I hoped Edward would give up easily and let me flee while I had the chance. I should have known better than to question his determination. Running down the steps of the Cullen home, I saw him standing there in all his glory.

He stood several feet away from the driver's side of my truck and only a few feet away from where I stood, motionless. The rain had began to fall with a ferocious intensity and poured over us both with all its might. I didn't think it was possible but with the water crashing against his magnificent shape, he looked even more godlike. His hair was completely matted to his face but all I could stare at were his eyes.

His brooding eyes bore into me and silently vowed that he had no intention of moving, not now, not ever.

"Please Edward! Let me go", I yelled at him, trying to drown out the noise the rain and thunder were creating around us.

"NEVER", he shouted defiantly. He again slowly made his way towards me as he did before in the house. But somehow these steps were different, his steps now were full of determination, no real sense of apprehension could be seen.

All the rage I had felt previously gave me a sudden rush of confidence. I also made my way to him, ready to meet whatever he had to give me.

"Let me GO!", I cried out, trying without success to push past him.

"I love you, Bella. I will love you even if you have nothing but hate for me in your heart. I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER", he said through clenched teeth, grabbing my arms as he did.

Hate? He thought I hated him? Even with the anger and fury burning deep within me, I still thought the world of Edward. I hated MYSELF, as the love I felt for Edward burned brighter than ever before. His accusations made me angrier than I ever thought possible.

"Don't you get it!", I shouted at him, twisting my arms out of his hands, which he allowed. "I don't hate you. I breathe for YOU, I ACHE FOR YOU. You have overtaken my world, my life", I said between tears, not realizing I was pounding my fists against his stone like chest. "You ruined me! I can never love any man, any person or thing more than I love you. You ruined me! You made me NEED YOU!", I yelped, still clutching his drenched shirt in my fists. "I love you more than you think you love me", I sadly whispered, exhausted from hitting a statue that could never be bruised.

I felt his body freeze up as I said those last words. He grabbed my shoulders and forced me to look up at his face and into his eyes. Pushing my wet, tangled hair from my face, he clutched my face between his hands and whispered, "Is that what you think"? With the rain falling down on me, mixing with the tears that still flowed, I silently nodded.

No longer were his eyes sorrowful or determined but instead replaced with desire. He held my face tightly but delicately, studying my face for several seconds. Effortlessly, he guided my head and body towards him and crashed his perfect lips against mine.

The world fell away, as my lips greedily accepted his, standing in the rain with the thunder echoing around us.

_**Ohhh!! I hope you liked this chapter as I hope the next one to be even steamier. I will try my best**__**J**_

_**Either way love to hear what you thought!**_


	17. Chapter 17

_**Sorry folks for the long wait, as I tried to put something up to hold myself and fellow readers off before Friday but it didn't happen. I spent my weekend reading and finishing up Breaking Dawn! I really became addicted to the Twilight saga, obviously, so it was hard to say THAT'S IT, but then we can still create our own stories.**_

_**Ok, so hope you guys enjoy this! Please comment and would love to gain more readers, so spread the word if you think others might enjoy.**_

_**I've really enjoyed squeezing my creative juices and appreciate all your comments and suggestions.**_

_**Ok, so…..**_

**Chapter 17: Control**

How could she say such a thing? "I love you more than you think you love me". Her words infuriated me the very second they were uttered. I would walk through fire, die a thousand deaths, just to have the opportunity to be in the same room with her, let alone love her. She was more than mistaken about the depths my love reached, she was positively mad.

Forcing her to look deep into my eyes, I cradled her beautiful face, the face that would not only launch a thousand ships in my heart but be the last image I ever cared to see, and struggled to make her understand with my stare. _You own me Bella, mind, body and spirit,_ _if it existed within me, _I tried to convey with my eyes.

Her tears continued to fall, as I realized she still didn't believe how much I craved her. I would need more than my words to prove it.

I pulled her close, the scent of her blood and warm body enthralling my senses as I did. The monster was fully awake and aroused but it was the man that was truly hungry for her body. With less control than I had planned, I pressed my lips against her soft, moist mouth.

I had feared and expected her to pull away and show some sign of struggle and defiance but I was more than pleasantly surprised. Her lips moved in unison with mine and welcomed them warmly. She wanted this as well but I doubt her desire could match the fire beginning to boil in my icy veins.

Her tiny fists no longer held my damp shirt but instead now began to make their way into my hair. The sensation she caused when running her fingers through my wet strands was indescribable. Her hands slowly traveled down to the back of my neck, as our kiss became more passionate. I knew better but my selfishness was too grand to ignore and I succumbed to my need for more. I slowly parted my lips wanting to taste her, and licked both her bottom and top lip. Her delicious flavor mixing with the saltiness of the rain almost pushed me over the edge but I was brought back down to my lust when she parted her mouth and welcomed my tongue with her own.

We had never gone past such physical boundaries or extremes with our kisses before but things were somehow different. We were giving in to the desire that couldn't be ignored any longer and gaining any self-control was futile.

**Bella**

So many times I had dreamed of kissing Edward again but the most detailed and vivid dreams could ever compare to the real thing. It was more than magical, it was electrifying and all encompassing.

When his lips met mine, my entire body reacted to the action. From the tingling in my toes, spasms in my stomach, to my heart beating a mile a minute, Edward's kiss made my body come alive.

His hands still held my face when I decided to give in to what I wanted most. My mind was desperately pleading with my body to stop and maintain some self-control but I couldn't give up this kind of pleasure so easily. The agony and frustration I had experienced earlier was now replaced with pure ecstasy and nothing mattered but this moment. Running my fingers through his drenched hair, I reasoned that whatever the consequences, it was worth it.

I almost self combusted as his silky tongue lightly ran over my lips, causing my heart to skip an extra beat. He wasn't playing fair and neither would I. Before he could stop me, I opened my lips and moved my tongue so as to collide with his. Momentarily shocked, he didn't resist my tongue but instead removed his hands from my face and wrapped them around my waist, pulling me closer to his perfectly sculpted torso.

**Edward**

She was so close now, almost too close. I could feel every single muscle and curve of her body against mine, filling in the gaps that my body created. The rain has soaked her entire wardrobe providing no real protection and all that separated my icy form from her hot-to-the touch body was a thin layer of rubber like material. Swimsuit, I thought, smiling to myself, thinking how appropriate her outfit seemed now. We were about to go swimming in uncharted waters.

Time was never an measurement I utilized, so I had no idea how long we stood there, fire and ice coming together, both melting and becoming one solid piece all at once. Her arms had switched from around my neck, to gripping my shoulders, never knowing how close she came to bringing me down, willingly of course.

Kissing her was a pleasure I had never experienced before but gazing at her provided just as much joy. I wanted so much to stare at her and gaze into her beautiful chocolate brown pools. I wanted to see how the tiny raindrops clung to her long dark brown hair, the water lightly showering her porcelain skin. Watch as the tiny drops made their way down her small facial features; sliding down her nose, her full lips, around her chin, and finally creating a trail down her long neck to destinations I had yet visited. I envied the rain.

No longer could I fight that want and lightly pulled my lips from her eager mouth, again using my hands to cradle her face just inches from my own. As I changed positions, I noticed the angry groan she breathed out, and her nails digging down my arms, surely drawing blood, well if I _had been able _to bleed. She obviously wasn't happy about my sudden abrupt action, causing a slight sense of smugness and pride to jolt through me.

Despite her disapproval, I continued on and gazed upon her, using my fingers to re-familiarize themselves with every part of her face. I traced over her eyebrows, around her eyelids, caressing her cheeks, rubbing the soft area just above her lips, and running my hands up and down her neck. Jealous of my fingers, my lips decided to take a tour of their own and began lighting kissing along her collar bone and all the skin not covered up by her soaked sweatshirt.

It was then that she finally spoke, "I….." she gasped, bursting the silence that had been between us since the reunion with our bodies began. Every muscle in my body froze in fear of what she was about to say. Was she going to say goodbye? Would she give me a just punishment and promise never to speak to me again? Was she going to forever damage my fantasy and tell me sometimes love isn't enough?

I couldn't bare to hear what she was about to utter, the outcome of my existence coming down to whatever words she decided to use. The magnitude of this decision brought me to struggle to stand, as I came down on one knee, my arms wrapped around her like a child to his mother, his world. My face found solace around her chest, my ear just above where her heart beat at an increased rate. I would listen to this instead, I decided. Listen until it beat no longer, I vowed.

Running her hands around my hair several times, she stroked my ears lightly, parting her lips and continued, "I want….". Shutting my eyes, denial ready to pour over me as soon as she refused my love.

"I want you forever. I NEED you. Now", she whispered, kissing my forehead and forcing my eyes to connect with hers.

It happened all so quickly, I didn't realize I had already scooped her up in my arms and was headed back towards the haven of the house.

**Bella**

Did he always have to be so GOOD at EVERTHING, I angrily thought, as he kissed me. I had never kissed any man but him and his kiss told me what I needed to hear, he had never kissed ANYONE like this before. This knowledge, that we were experiencing something together, that the other had never before, made my bond to him even greater. A bond that couldn't be broken?

I contemplated this as he broke our kiss, causing me actual pain, and my body told his so, growling lightly as he pulled away. He smiled, despite himself, and brought my face less than an inch to his, so close together, yet too far part, my body ached.

He silently stared into my eyes for several seconds, mindlessly pushing the rain from my eyes and away from my face. Then to my great pleasure, his fingers began running all around my face, like a blind man trying to memorize the face of someone he had never met but desperately wanting to know how this stranger appeared. It took me back to the happiest day of my life, the day we revealed our deepest thoughts and secrets, some bigger than others, that day in the meadow.

My thoughts again reran the history of Bella and Edward in my mind, as if a movie playing in my head. The uncertainty and excitement in the beginning, the joy and blissfulness in the middle and tragedy, loss and emptiness in the end. The END? The lingering question about our unbreakable bond again popped into my mind. How was it so easy for him to say goodbye to me, when each night he left me, knowing he would return the very next day, left me on edge? Was my hold on him as strong as his to me? Not possible, I determined.

Leave. Leave now and don't come back, the logical side of my brain screamed. If you don't leave now, you're in for a world of hurt. Don't do this, Bella. We CANT handle it if he leaves again. He goes, any chance at a real life is gone. Reasons to leave him standing in the rain, leave him as he left me, began to mount.

My indecision and escape plan was completely abandoned when his lips started caressing my neck, my collarbone, everywhere but the place I wanted them most. NO! My heart and soul would never leave him, my emotions had my brain pinned to the ground, declaring they would always stay true to Edward and the love he offered. They also shouted for more, my body also joining in on their pleas to have Edward, mind, body, and soul.

There was still one thing that we could share that would cement the link that tied Edward's heart to mine. One experience that we had yet to experience with each other, with anyone in fact. I was ready and willing to give everything I had to offer up to him, everything he wanted was his.

He would never leave me then, the bond never broken, forever linked, forever binded, I reasoned with my mind, who still had reservations about the lack of fight I had put up.

"I…", I uttered, somehow finding my voice, which not long ago was lost in the abyss Edward's kiss had created.

My tiny word had more power than I imagined as he gracefully slide down to one knee, and creating a firm yet gentle vice around my arms and waist with his arms. He head resting lightly against my chest and heart. Rubbing his forehead back and forth against the fibers of my sweatshirt.

His actions so sweet and full of love, forced me to wrap my hands around his head, running my fingers gently through the tangled locks that even wet seemed too perfect. Caressing his ears, I bent my head down, wanting to be closer to his head, his eyes, his golden stare. "I…I want you forever. I NEED you. Now", whispering into his wet hair, my lips tasting the raindrops that were lucky enough to find a home there.

He brought his face up slowly, meeting my intense glare. Noticing the hunger and fiery desire that couldn't be hidden in my eyes. I instantly saw and felt the same intensity my body projected. His eyes glowed with desire and overcame his entire body, like a warm blanket engulfing around him and slowly pulling me in.

It felt like nothing at all, when in the span of less than a second, I was in his arms, clinging my wet body to his, wanting to be so close, wanting to be one.

He began taking slow strides to the home with nothing but love and passion in each step. The house seemed so welcoming as I shut my eyes and pressed my lips against his cool neck.

_**So…what did you think?? Hope you enjoyed this chapter and satisfied you somewhat. I hope to make the next chapter even better! Will they or wont they?? Either way, I hope to spin a fine web of entertainment!**_

_**As always, please READ and if you can Comment often**__**J**__**!!**_


	18. Chapter 18

**So sorry for the delayed response but I went on vacation and it was soooo long but not really long enough****J**** Hope you enjoy this chapter as much as you did the last one. It's a short one but wanted to give a little something to read till I could concentrate on the next.**

**Chapter 18: Special**

I couldn't think. I couldn't process all that was occurring or why I wasn't putting a stop to it but the truth was I didn't care to stop.

Bella's soft lips were devouring my neck and all I could focus on was finding some place to lie her beautiful body down. Most of the furniture had been taken by the movers months ago and the Cullen family hadn't owned a bed in centuries. DAMN IT! Stepping into the entry way, I acted quickly and grabbed several of the white sheets that had been protecting all the furniture that remained in the house. I piled the sheets I had retrieved by the foot of the piano, creating a make-shift cushion large enough for Bella.

She deserved to lay on the finest silk sheets on the biggest, most comfortable bed known to man but this option was better than the cold-tile floor. While I was creating a pitiful excuse of a bed, Bella had changed positions while in my arms. She now had her legs wrapped around my waist, clinging to my neck while she slowly made me go insane breathing heavily against my ear, gently nibbling on my earlobe.

"Edward", she purred, making my knees buckle as I hit the floor, her still in my arms. She pulled away from my face and gazed into my eyes before kissing me with all the strength her tiny body could muster. Was this really happening? All those nights returning from Bella's room, filled with frustration and desire, thinking what I wouldn't give to be in the position I was now. Had I "died" without knowing and ended up in the only kind of Heaven I yearned for?

Her lips so sweet and warm against my own, the flutter of her heart within her chest and the heat rolling like waves off her body, made me feel like I was drowning within her. She was all around me, every single sense was now occupied by her yet the need to be closer remained. I wanted to feel her skin against mine, to feel that warmth all over, to touch places I only dreamed of seeing.

I was pleasantly surprised that she was longing for the same thing as she yanked her arms away from my neck and fumbled removing my shirt, blindly working on the buttons. I quickly solved the problem and ripped the annoying fabric from my skin with one hand as the other held on to the small of Bella's back, my lips still attached to her mouth.

The sensations she caused while trailing my chest, back and arms with her hot fingers was indescribable. Though she was currently only touching one area of my body, my entire form reacted to her. Every single inch of my body ached to be touched by her, to feel the heat from her body caressing everywhere.

"Bella…Bella…Bella", was all that I could utter and apparently it was all she needed to hear. My hands worked themselves through her long hair, pulling at the beads of water that still clung to the ends of her strands. We…I, had never felt the passion that fueled me now, dictating every single movement and action.

**Bella**

We were in the house before I knew it and though the rain no longer beat down upon us, I could still taste the drops of water gently rolling down his neck. His cool skin against my warm lips brought back the memories of running through the woods, shutting my eyes I embraced the feeling of freedom once again.

I wanted to always feel this way, feel this free and loved. This desired, wanted. Unable to gain control of my body any longer, I felt myself shift positions, and wrapped my legs around his waist, wanting never to let go. Declarations of love dangled at the tip of my tongue but I couldn't form the words to say them, the only thing I could say was his name, "Edward".

My lips were burning yet again and I couldn't help but want to feel his sleek cool lips wrapped around mine. If I couldn't tell him how I felt, I would have to show him I thought, before latching my lips around his perfect mouth. Without hesitation my hands were suddenly at his shirt, desperately trying to unbutton blindly, as my eyes were needed elsewhere. In an instant my hands felt the icy planes of his chest, navigating themselves around each muscle and contour of his arms and torso. It was my turn to memorize his shape and forever burn it in my mind.

As if reading my thoughts, which I wished WAS possible at this moment, both our hands found themselves fumbling at the sweater, which now clung to my body. His cool fingers intertwining with mine as we both slowly grasped at the drenched fabric. Not wanting to slow the progress we had made so far, I brought my arms over my head, urging him to continue with my stare.

He moved so quickly and still not fast enough. His hands trembled slightly as he gently rolled the sweater over my upper body, each movement slowly revealing the skin tight swimsuit underneath, until he finally reached over my head and threw the wet sweater several yards away. I barely noticed it crashing into something big and made of glass in another room.

His hands were suddenly cradling my neck, as he eased my body down into the softness of the sheets that I hadn't realized were now encircling my entire body. He hovered me for what seemed like a eternity, gazing into my eyes with the same burning look that had floored me out in the rain. I couldn't help but stare right back and hope my eyes conveyed some of the emotions that flooded me.

He then began to create a trail of kisses from around my face, down my neck, to the exposed area around my shoulders. Inhaling my scent and lightly grazing my skin with his nose before running his lips over my flesh. All that I could focus on was the sound of our ragged breathing, as any type of control I had over my body was now gone.

The serenade of kisses ended abruptly when he reached my chest, turned his head slightly and rested his ear just above my heart. Shutting his eyes, he whispered " I love you".

I knew then that my heart was no longer mine to give to anyone else other than Edward. He again possessed my love, soul, and mind.

_**Ok, hope that satisfied you for now. Don't worry more is coming. Not really promising anything just yet but comment if you liked it or have some ideas for the next chapter!!**_


	19. UPDATE

Update

**Update!!**

**I sincerely apologize to all the loyal readers who have been asking for an update. I realize its been awhile since the last chapter but my actual life had gotten pretty drama filled since then.**

**As life usually is, there was some good and bad drama but time consuming none the less. I do plan on continuing and hope to have a chapter up by end of week if not sooner.**

**Writing these chapters were a good escape and that's exactly what I need at the moment, what everybody needs at any given time.**

**So sorry again but I completely agree with you all and think this story deserves to go on, if only for the reason that I enjoy writing it.**

**Ok…just thought those who still cared, might appreciate an update!**

**Definitely will UPDATE SOON!!**


	20. Chapter 20

_**Thanks for all for commenting and letting me know you are enjoying the story and sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoy this belated chapter.**_

_**Finally a chapter, right??**_

**Chapter 19: Letting Go**

**Edward**

I was determined to show her how I loved her, desired her, needed her. Yet fighting my determination was the fear, the undeniable dread lurking within me. I was frightened beyond words of hurting her, causing her fragile body pain.

My fingers collided with her tiny hands, pulling at the drenched fabric, once a sweater. The moment almost comical, if not for the intensity created when our eyes met, both unwilling and unable to back down.

Beyond the yearning in her eyes, I saw what I never realized was always there, trust. Full and utter trust in me, the man and the monster. Trust that I didn't truly feel I deserved but would gladly vow to earn and keep. As if almost on cue, she began to raise her arms above her head, urging me to continue.

I could hear the rain beating down senselessly against the roof, the cars speeding too fast on the slick highway miles away, the tiny creatures rummaging in the forest but all the noises were drowned out by the increased beating of Bella's heart. It had gone beyond the flutter of butterfly wings and was now a intensified drum. I struggled to maintain some sense of composure as I carefully brought the flimsy material up over her body, each tiny muscle of my body constricting at the sight of her body, becoming revealed second by second.

I wanted her in every sense of the word. I wanted to touch her, taste her, hear her utter my name, memorize every curve of her body. Laying her softly on the sheets, I ached to kiss every inch of her skin, taking in the undeniable floral scent with each breath I took. My throat burned with venom but the beast that hungered for Bella's blood, was no match for the desire that raged on.

She was too beautiful, beauty beyond being described, compared, or matched. Any women, place, or thing would forever fail in comparison to what Bella was. Someone so pure and good had found a reason to love me. I wanted to pledge my undying devotion, describe the tortuous days I had endured without her, relay the ecstasy I felt when she smiled at me but in the end all I could say was the honest and undeniable truth.

"I love you", I whispered, hovering over her heart, wishing I could synchronize my long-dead heart with the consistent beat that now played in my ears.

**Bella**

This was all knew to me, the emotions, the physical reactions, the heat that seemed to intensify, even as Edward's icy cold body drew closer and closer. I had no real idea what to expect, what role to play or line to say but in my heart I knew it was right, meant to be. Edward and I deserved to be happy, deserved to be together, in every way possible.

His simple but powerful words, gave me the strength and courage I needed at that exact moment.

Ever so gently, I pushed his cool form away from my body, somehow finding a way to stand, hoping he wouldn't notice my trembling hands or the way my legs quivered as I stood. Searching his eyes, I noticed his expression had changed, he now looked almost afraid and defeated. He had assumed my sudden movement meant I wanted to run, when in reality, I no longer had a choice. I was his, now and until forever.

Silently, I stood before him, preparing to not only offer my heart but my body as well. I gripped the straps of my swimsuit, internally scolding myself for not going home and changing into more tantalizing fare. Next time, I happily grinned to myself.

The hunger in Edward's eyes became apparent once again, as I slowly lowered the wet suit down my body. My insecurities and nerves wanted me desperately to cover up and run out the room but I never removed my eyes from Edwards face, motivating me to continue. My bathing suit was now down to my waist, when I heard him gasp, knowing then that there was no going back. In one swift movement, I yanked the rest of my suit and sweatpants off, kicking them towards the door, not bothering to see where they had landed.

I felt completely vulnerable, naked not only physically but emotionally as well. I had stripped away all my fears, indecision, frustration and instead chose to share everything I had to give with the only man I had and would ever love.

He sat very still, too still. His eyes roamed my entire body, not resting on one particular area too long, as if he wasn't entirely sure I was real or how long I would be there. His lack of action, had me worrying that perhaps I had taken things too far and yet again, I was the one who had pushed the established boundaries.

My fears subsided in one split second. Before I had time to blink, Edward stood before me, one arm griping my shoulder while the other held my neck, pulling my face close to his. He stared into my eyes briefly, before kissing my lips more forcefully than he had allowed before.

When I pulled away reluctantly to breathe, my thoughts were swimming and incoherent but I heard myself whisper, "I love you too".

**Edward**

Bella suddenly shifted below me, trying to push away my rock solid body from her tiny figure. Without hesitation, I removed myself and waited for her goodbye. It had been too good to be true, I realized. I had fooled myself into thinking she wanted me the way I wanted her.

Without saying a word, she stood in front of me, not moving but staring deep into my eyes assuring me she wasn't going anywhere. It wasn't until her slightly shaking fingers grasped at the straps of her swimsuit that it occurred to me what she planned on doing.

A gentlemen would have stopped her then and there, told her we were going too far, too fast but I couldn't breathe, non the less move in that moment. I suddenly grew jealous of her hands, her fingers as they slowly lowered the suit down towards her feet.

The only response I could offer was a raspy gasp when she finally reached her waist, revealing her perfect breasts, porcelain white, matching her creamy torso. I couldn't process my thoughts any longer while she continued undressing and when there was nothing left to show, kicked the unwanted clothing across the room.

This was not the first time I had seen Bella completely bare but this couldn't be any more different. Instead of wanting to comfort and wipe away the tears I had caused so many nights ago, I hungered to take her in my arms and run my hands everywhere they could find refuge. My eyes greedily took in the amazing sight, knowing all to well, I would replay this moment for an eternity to come. Her hair still wet with rain caused droplets of water to delicately run down her body. I followed the luckiest drop as it raced down between her breasts, over her flat abdomen , past her narrow hips, finally falling to floor after creating a final trail on the back of left calf. I was tempted to taste the remaining drops, still clinging to her shoulders.

I didn't fail to notice how my own body was reacting to her form. My muscles had relaxed slightly but still struggled to move, while the ache darting throughout my body continued. Though my figure had always taken on a statue-like quality, NOW I truly was hard as stone in every possible way. I needed her, needed to have her warmth all over me, to be inside her while I kissed her lips, which I hoped would be uttering my name.

In a instant I was beside her, grabbing her with more force that I had originally planned, looking intensely into her big brown eyes before kissing her with the desire that now controlled us both. I was taken out of my trance, when I heard her whisper " I love you too". It was then that I became complete once again.

_**Ok…I don't mean to drag this out but come on guys this IS their first time and they have always had an intense type of relationship. I didn't want it to be slam, bam, thank you maam!! Hope this satisfies you till the next chapter, which I hope is REALLY GOOD!!**_


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 20: Patience**

**Edward**

We stood together, her head gently resting against my chest, I inhaling her scent through the tangles of wet hair, not speaking for several seconds. Words were not needed and couldn't do justice to what we were feeling.

It was only when I felt her warm breasts against my icy chest, was I brought back down from my cloud. The clash between her overheated skin and my frozen body caused tiny goose bumps to appear all along her arms, now wrapped around my neck. If she only knew what kind of reaction she was causing my own body, I thought.

Ever so slowly, Bella began to kiss along my jaw, creating the sweetest sensation down my neck to the planes of my chest, where she stopped to rub her forehead against my heart. I dug my fingers deep in my thigh, not wanting her to stop yet trying in vain to gain some control over my impulse to grab her and make love to her then and there. Patience, I thought, patience. I would wait forever for her and I was in no rush to end the heavenly evening.

Her tiny fingers danced along my abdomen, as I shut my eyes, breathing slowly and taking in each precious touch. I quickly snapped my eyes open when I heard the unclasping of my belt. Something as mundane as removing the belt from my jeans caused the previously numb side of my brain to reawaken.

"Bella…wait", I uttered while wrapping my arms around her nude body, squeezing her close to my own. She could no longer move her arms with my strong hold but the pressure of her bare skin against mine, which I could still feel despite having my jeans on, had my thoughts running wild once again.

"Wait…NO! I've never felt this way about anyone or anything my whole life. There is no point in waiting, when in the end; you're the only person I ever want to make love with and to. Why deny the inevitable", she reasoned, breathing lightly against my chest.

How could I fight her on this, when I shared the same sentiment, except the passion and love I felt for her was tenfold what she thought she felt for me.

"I want nothing more to make love to you now and for the rest of eternity but just knowing you love me, accept me…its enough. Enough for forever", I sighed into her damp tresses.

"Edward…" she sighed. "How can I explain this to you…I want this. I NEED this. I have been sleepwalking through my life for too long…and having you here, holding me, I can't think of one reason why we shouldn't and a million reasons why we should", she said before kissing the area above my abdomen.

I couldn't keep resisting her I thought, the impulse was growing stronger and stronger, as her skin was beginning to warm my entire body. I begin to loosen my hold over her arms.

"I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you…hurt you more than I already have", I whispered, guilt creeping back into my voice.

"STOP! Stop trying to protect me from you. We can't live our lives scared of the what if's. We'll never know if we never try. It will be ok…I'll be ok", she spurted out, annoyance and determination in her voice. Her certainty made me smile and again feel unworthy of the complete trust she had in me.

"Bella…I", I started but was stopped mid sentence when she quickly held her index finger over my lips, whispering "Don't". Wordlessly, she moved her hands again towards my belt, undoing the clasp and swiftly removing it from the loops of my jeans. Her fingers were now at the button of my jeans, unbuttoning them with hardly any trouble. This Bella was determined to finish the job.

Gripping the tops of my jeans, she slowly pushed them down towards the floor. I was frozen in place, afraid to move, and whatever might occur from such movement. Obediently, I stepped out of the jeans once they reached my feet. Running her fingers along my leg as she made her way back up, I thought I might implode from the heat culminating near the pit of my stomach.

It was my turn to blush as I stood with nothing but my boxer shorts, which no longer hide my arousal but instead put it on display. Bella was merciful, as once she was upright, stared directly into my eyes pushing me to finish where she started. I could never deny her anything I thought, as I breathed a deep sigh and removed the last bit of clothing from my body.

"Edward" she gasped, lightly touching my forearms and taking a small step towards me. The way my name escaped her lips and reached my ears, again had me grabbing her and devouring her lips with my own. I had to focus on her lips, notice their slightly swollen appearance, as my mind and body couldn't jointly handle how close we were and how her body seemed to fit exactly with mine.

Not knowing how much longer I would be able to stand, I lifted her up in a cradle like hold and slowly laid her down against the sheets.

**Bella**

I don't know where the confidence came from. My thoughts in my head were unintelligible and every muscle in my body seemed as if they were on fire and sensitive to the touch. But here I was, removing Edward's belt successfully and in the process of getting his jeans off.

I didn't know what to expect or how to prepare but it didn't matter, Edward and I would connect in a way that we had never tried before. Create a bond that could never be broken, questioned, or weakened. I could only assume that's what kept me from turning into a quivering mess.

You can do this. You can do this, I thought as I dragged his designer jeans down his muscular legs. I tried not to focus on his perfectly shaped thighs and athletic legs. Or focus on the fact of how much like a statue he seemed as I reached his feet. To acknowledge these things were to admit to myself just how perfect he was and how much I wasn't. Instead I paid attention to the breathing that seemed labored and almost painful that escaped his lips, as if he was having trouble controlling his actions. I was causing him to lose himself and that provided the push I desperately needed.

I stood back up and stared into his eyes, telling him that there was no going back with my own. He had pity on me and instead of forcing me to remove ALL his clothes, he sighed and quickly removed the final article of clothing that remained on his person.

He was beautiful. Amazing, glorious, magnificent, those words ran through my mind as I glanced at his body. Every inch of him was like living marble stone. I wanted to run my hands all over his body and feel his cool touch on my burning skin. "Edward", I whispered, touching his strong arms as I made my way towards him.

In an instant he was kissing me, and cradling me in his arms. I was floating as he slowly placed me among the sheets. It was then when he started exploring my own body with his lips.

**Edward**

Bella scent was intoxicating but her taste was pure heaven. I wanted to kiss every square inch of her body, as each spot was sweeter than the next. My lips devoured her neck and made their way down to her chest, lightly kissing the soft area between her breasts, watching as her breathe became unsteady and she quivered slightly.

I continued exploring her body with my lips, blowing lightly on her stomach as my hands moved from stroking her shoulders and neck to caressing her perfect breasts. I was frightened I was being too rough but her soft moans and the gentle tugs at my hair eased my concerns.

She was so soft, gentle, and warm. Everything I wasn't yet we seemed to belong together, despite all our differences, we completed each other. I had never been so fearful in my life of what was to come and at the same time I couldn't wait another minute to become one with the only person who ever made me feel loved, wanted, and accepted.

Pulling myself away from her fragile torso, I looked into her eyes and whispered "You're my everything". I shifted my body so that I was hovering directly above her, making sure my weight wouldn't crush her yet still close enough that our chests lightly rubbed against each other. Her eyes seemed to reflect the burning desire that inflamed my own, as she sweetly smiled and simply uttered, "You're my destiny".

As if to let me know she was ready and just as eager, Bella gently moved her hips towards me, moving her legs in her the process. Moving with the slowest of motions, I kissed her lips as I gently inserted myself into her, hoping I was causing minimal to no pain. I closed my eyes, waiting to hear the cry of pain escape her lips but instead I heard a low whimper and then a moan as she roughly kissed my lips, gripped my shoulders and choked out "Don't stop".

With less trepidation than before, I began to slowly grind my hips against Bella's, gaining speed and tempo as her movements below me began to match up with my own, pushing myself deeper and deeper into her. The fire that raged inside of me was suddenly fueled by the image of Bella biting her plump lips, the moans escaping her lips, and the way her nails dug into the flesh of my back , pulling at my skin with every moan. "Edward….Edward", she began to whisper over and over, as I switched from kissing her lips to gently sucking on her earlobe.

I had never felt this kind of pleasure before and was certain no man would ever experience this kind of happiness and ecstasy that suddenly had me at a loss of words. Bella was encircling me, and I was willingly drowning in her, taking in every scent and taste.

Bella's moans were now getting louder, with her hands now balled into tiny fists above her head, which was now rolled back, eyes shut. I had never made love before but I knew enough to know that I would eventually need to stop, find release for us both but I was enjoying the way our bodies fit, moving in perfect unison.

I was on my cloud once again, above the ugliness that plagued the world, the demon that still lurked in me even in the perfection that was this moment, I was above it all. Carefully, I held Bella's precious face to mine, kissing her passionately as I made my final thrust, creating a heavenly release for us both.

We stayed like that, connected, for several minutes before we were able to catch our breath and actually utter any words. Staring into Bella's eyes, I noticed a few tears beginning to form and roll down her cheek.

I quickly held her closer to me, wrapping the white sheets around her body, and bringing her tightly to my chest. "Did I hurt you…I tried to be gentle…I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you", I spilled out, kissing her forehead, as I rocked her back and forth.

She giggled lightly, before grabbing one of my hands, intertwined it with her own and brought it to her lips, kissing my fingertips. "I'm fine. I'm actually more than fine, I'm ecstatic! I'm crying because I'm happy. I'm happy because of you. Don't you get it? It's because of you".

Not knowing what else to do or say, I kissed the tears away from her face, knowing I would be shedding my own tears, if it was at all possible. I held her tightly against my body, as we both listened to the sounds around us, she to the rain tickling on the roof, me to the steady heartbeat that once again played like a symphony in my mind.

_**OK….well I hope you guys like that and it was worth the wait! If not, I will try and do better next time. Next time, you say? Well let's see how many comments I get and see where the story goes**__**J**_

_**Thanks!!**_


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 21: Perfect**

**Bella**

I had always been the one to reassure Edward that he couldn't hurt me, that it wasn't possible. I was always so sure that whatever might happen I would be ok but lying beneath him, I suddenly began to worry.

Not whether I or not I would survive my first time with my vampire boyfriend but if I was going to be everything Edward had expected and deserved. I had never been with anyone and the lack of experience was slowly bringing back the thoughts of inferiority. He had waited over 80 years to be with someone and doubt began to rack my brain.

Then he looked at me and whispered "You're my everything".

All I could see and think was him. I needed him and he needed me, now more than ever.

He was directly over me now, slowly melting his body onto mine. Every muscle on his body could be felt on mine, sending tiny shock waves to every single nerve. He was careful not to place any weight on me but despite this our bodies still fit perfectly, two puzzle pieces finally finding each other. He kissed me sweetly as I felt him slowly push himself into me, creating a chain reaction of emotions.

Pain, relief, joy, pleasure, all coming at me instantaneously. Not able to control my reaction, I slowly moaned from the rush of it all. He abruptly froze afraid to go on but I hungrily wanted more, to feel him again. Gripping his shoulders, "Don't stop" escaped my lips.

Though this was an entirely new experience for us both, our bodies didn't seem to notice or care, as we moved in perfect rhythm. His solid cool form over my burning skin created an indescribable sensation. I ran my fingers down his back, wanting to grip him tighter, bring him closer to the high I was slowly reaching. I couldn't and wasn't able to express all I was feeling and instead could hear myself moaning in response to Edward's own moans and thrusts.

His passionate kisses had me lose control of reality as I was suddenly falling, floating into nothingness and all that mattered was the fact that Edward was right there with me. I looked into his eyes, searching for the same ecstasy that seemed to radiate from my entire body. It took me a few moments to realize that we hadn't said a word, both still out of breath and physically exhausted, or at the least, I was.

It hit me then, all the experiences that we had shared, good and bad, flooding my memories. Everything that had occurred had brought us to tonight, to this moment, to perfection. Things had changed and it was all going to be different now.

I knew then that our lives and futures were intertwined and forever melded together, no matter what came next, we would be together. It would always be us.

I didn't realize I was crying until Edward had me cradled in his arms, encased in the heavy white sheets. "Did I hurt you…I tried to be gentle…I'm so sorry, I didn't want to hurt you", he blurted out. His eyes suddenly were filled with concern and fear. Fear that he had hurt me instead of the utter joy I was currently experiencing for the first time in so long.

I fell in love with him even more then and couldn't help but laugh as I scooped up his icy hand and slowly wrapped my fingers around his own. "I'm fine. I'm actually more than fine, I'm ecstatic! I'm crying because I'm happy. I'm happy because of you. Don't you get it? It's because of you".

It was silly but true. All the pain and desperation I had felt with the absence Edward had left in my heart, my soul. The darkness was no longer there. Instead it had been replaced with the hope and love that blanketed me now, wrapped in his arms.

Whatever might happen after tonight, I would be ok, we would be ok. He held me tighter, as if suddenly able to read my mind, and softly hummed my lullaby to the rain that tapped on the roof above.

_**OHHH…That took me long enough. I apologize for all who had to wait for so long for another chapter.**_

_**I never gave up on the story but understand if others did. I still have some ideas on where to take it but I'm so glad people liked this.**_

_**Don't worry, there will be some drama, tension, action, and of course hotness!!**_

_**Ok, will update SOON**__**J**_


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 22: Manhunt**

Edward

It has seemed like forever since I held Bella while she slept, which spoke volumes, as being eternally 17, time rarely was an issue. Though I had watched her sleep every night since I returned, watching her now was like watching a different person.

She no longer sobbed in her dreams or seemed as if she was in pain. Instead contentment filled her face and I honestly wished I could join her in her dream and experience the same joy.

The antique grandfather clock in the corner, slowly ticked by and thanks to my perfect vision, even in the poorly lit room I could clearly see it was almost Midnight. I knew Bella needed her rest but I also knew Charlie would begin to worry if she wasn't home soon.

The pep rally had finished hours ago and Charlie would have expected her home soon after. I wasn't close enough to hear his thoughts but I knew all too well his concern for his only daughter. He was probably running scenarios threw his head at the moment, hoping she had gone to one of the several after-parties so many of the children had planned after the pep rally.

Just a little longer I thought, as she snuggled closer to me, rubbing her head against my bare chest. I was somewhat relieved I didn't have to interrupt her slumber when her eyes slowly flickered open and came to rest upon my face.

"Hey", she whispered, reaching up to move the hair around my face and stroking my cheek as she spoke.

"Enjoy your nap", I asked, smiling at her as I gently kissed the top of her head.

"Most definitely but I'm not sorry I woke up. This is so much better than any dream I have EVER had. I don't have that good an imagination," she giggled. It had been too long since I heard her musical laughter.

"From what I remember of my dreams, I would have to agree with you", I chimed in, cradling her face in my hands and kissing her all too accepting lips.

Realizing she required air, I released her lips, when she sighed deeply. "I forgot how good you were at kissing. Now I know for a fact you're amazing at EVERYTHING", her voice whispered. Though what she said was simple and brief, the way the words escaped her lips had me gripping her tighter, loving the way her body still reacted from my touch.

"Amazing? Pure and utter bliss is a more accurate description for me", I whispered into her ear, rubbing her shoulders as I did. I struggled to focus on getting Bella home to an anxious Charlie but it was difficult to remember to be responsible when the white sheets begin to unravel around her nude body.

"You didn't let me finish…it wasn't just amazing, being with you was beyond anything I have ever experienced before. And something I hope to experience for the rest of my life…" she said. She moved her body to face me, causing the top half of the sheets to completely crumble at her waist.

Taking advantage of my brief paralysis, she draped her arms around my neck as she rested on her knees. "And the rest of my life, starts now", Bella breathed onto my lips before kissing me forcefully.

It was so easy to lose myself in her, too easy to lose control and give in totally to the urges that now began to bubble in the pit of my stomach. If I didn't stop now, I acknowledged I would never be able to let go of her tonight and then we would really have a problem to deal with, and that problem involved the Chief of Police.

Gently pushing her away, while simultaneously covering her yet again with the sheets, I tried to reason with her. "Bella, my Bella" I said, staring deep into her eyes. "You have no idea how much power you have over me now or how much I desire to be with you but I have to get you home".

"Wherever you are is my home", she responded back, her eyes full of determination.

"And wherever you are, I will be", I declared. "But Charlie is sitting in your house wondering where his beautiful daughter is and will starting combing the streets looking for you. There will be so many questions when the townspeople realize I returned…why add a manhunt to the madness"?

"So…you're staying", she asked, fumbling with the sheets that continued to want to fall to the ground.

"Of course. You my love", I began kissing her lightly around her face, "have to graduate and I plan on not only being there but walking the stage with you. I'm positive I can catch up and make the grade".

"I can graduate anywhere . I have enough credits to earn my diploma and go wherever you want to be. Why wait", she pleaded with me.

"Love, you have a life here. Charlie, friends, you're swimming. I can't take you away when you're so close to finishing. Believe me Bella, you will want these final months to cherish and remember. I want to be here…NOW", I honestly answered.

"So you'll stay for me".

"Everything I do is for you. You're my reason for existing, but I'm staying here for us. Before we can make a life for ourselves, you have to truly enjoy this time in your life. It only comes around once in a lifetime."

She smiled wickedly as she asked, "Haven't you been a high school senior several times in your lifetime"?

"Bella…" I began to scold.

"Kidding. I understand what you're saying but honestly all I want to do is stay here and make love till the sun comes up."

"Now you're reading my mind", I responded back. "But my love, you have to return home. Let's pick our battles darling. I'm not saying no to ever again, just postponing till we can spend the whole night together and not raise suspicion or cause any high alerts".

"Honestly Edward, you're the only teenage boy in the world who would turn down the opportunity for sex. Shouldn't you be begging me to stay or something along those lines", she huffed. She held one hand firmly at her waist while the other gripped her make shift dress of sheets. I didn't know what was sexier, her apparent frustration over not being able to make love or the fact that even angry, she was undeniably adorable and enticing.

"Well…I am not like other teenage boys. And unlike those boys, I know when things are worth waiting for", I smiled back, squeezing her into a hug before she had a chance to blink.

"You win this time…but only because I don't want to under go an interrogation with Charlie in the morning", she said, pouting her lips in a way that only made me want to kiss her more.

"Believe me Bella, this particular battle I would have gladly raised the white flag and happily lost", I said while breathing in the sweet scent of her hair. "Now lets get you dressed and into bed before Charlie suspects any wrong doing", I hummed.

Before Bella was able to fully stand, I had all her articles of clothing in one hand, while helping her up and avoid falling amongst the tangle of sheets.

"Since I was the one who took OFF all the clothing, how bout you help get them back on", she proposed.

"I don't think I could handle the temptation of being so close to you and not being able to finish whatever we start, "I shivered out, realizing how true my words were. I cleared my throat before going on. "Besides, you're not the only one who needs to make themselves presentable. I don't think Charlie would be at ease seeing me with a ripped to shreds shirt and soaked through jeans".

"Umm…no argument there," she sighed.

I quickly searched my home for dry clothing for Bella to wear and found random items in both Rosalie's and Alice's room. Trying to give Bella her privacy while she dressed, I flew up the stairs to retrieve a change of clothing for myself and at least gain some control over the impulses and thoughts racing through my mind. The knowledge that Bella was downstairs, willing and half-naked, did nothing to help my resolve.

Using human speed, I walked down the stairs with an umbrella, rubber boots, and a rain jacket I had found in one of the many closets by the enormous garage. There was always stray articles left behind in the numerous abandoned Cullen homes.

Bella was lacing up her sneakers when I entered the room, and held her dripping swim suit in one hand. "I really didn't see the point of putting it back on. It's so difficult when it's all wet", she explained, while smiling at the rain-gear I had placed at her feet.

"I think you made a wise choice. I prefer you in as little clothing as possible", I smirked back. "But, would it be possible for me to keep that particular swimsuit for myself", I asked her sweetly.

"Sure, I have other suits…but why", she asked, genuinely curious.

"As a souvenir to remember the night I got my life back", I answered, showcasing the smile that I saved only for Bella.

**Chapter 23**

I drove the truck back to the Swan house with Bella at my side, completely lost in my thoughts for the future. I thought of what college we might attend together, what city Bella might enjoy living in, what profession I would study this time and more importantly how much longer I would have to wait before proposing to Bella.

I had never considered marriage or much less a partner after I had been changed but every time I looked at Bella, I yearned to call her my wife. I had her heart and she mine but I deeply desired the world to know we officially belonged to each other and no one else.

These thoughts of marital bliss and complete happiness were suddenly overshadowed by the danger and unease I felt driving up the Swan driveway.

Charlie's squad car was nowhere to be seen and all the lights within the home were out. I could not hear or sense anything, human or animal, lurking in the dark yet I knew something was not right, not safe.

**TO BE CONTINUED….**

_**Sorry for the cliff hanger just had to reevaluate where this was going but hope you're enjoying the ride so far.**_

_**I thank all who have commented and encourage others to do so. It's very much appreciative and let's is honest; it's nice when other's like what you're doing.**_

_**Excited for what's to come? So am I!! **_


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24 Protector**

Bella, noticing the sudden change in me, sat up straight and gripped my hand which was now on the steering wheel, in danger of breaking off completely.

"Edward, what's wrong. Why did you stop? Oh my god, is Charlie ok", she asked, fear resonating in her voice.

Grabbing her face as I caressed her cheek, I comforted her. "Charlie's fine, I can't smell or hear him for miles. I can't pick up anyone's scent or thoughts here."

"Then what is it", she asked, still concerned.

I was tempted to turn the truck around and ride away with Bella and not take the risk of whatever it was that had me at unease. It was then that I heard his thoughts and realized why I was on edge.

_Who…WHAT could have done that to them? My God, they were torn apart._

Charlie's thoughts became louder and easier to read, as it soon became apparent he was several miles away.

_Forks has never dealt with something this big before…people are going to want answers and I dont have any…_

Though I could clearly now see into his mind, I wasn't getting the full story and leaned forward in the truck, stupidly thinking this might help.

_Bella, Bella…how am I going to explain this to her. SHOULD I even tell her, how much should I say? She'll read it in the paper no doubt…DAMMIT_

"DAMMIT EDWARD" Bella shouted while gripping my arm, breaking me out of my trance. "What is IT" she breathed out.

The few seconds I had zoned out had made Bella frantic and unfortunately she had reason to be. I knew I didn't have very long to explain or reassure her and honestly wasn't sure I could. I decided then to tell her what I knew and not worry her more than necessary.

"Charlie's on his way. Maybe ten minutes out. We have to get you inside before he gets here", I responded, bringing the car to life and staring straight ahead.

"Great…was he out searching for me? Is that why you look so worried", she grumbled.

_Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll be asleep when I get home and not have to explain a thing. NO! She might head to the woods this weekend before I get a chance to warn her. DAMMIT TO HELL…_

"No. He's not aware you have been absent most of the evening or that you didn't attend the pep rally. He half hopes you're asleep in bed", I muttered, not wanting to reveal too much.

"That's GOOD news, isn't it", she stared at me, hoping for some sort of positive response. I wished I could provide that but all I could focus on was the frustration that seeped from Charlie's thoughts.

_Jesus, this has always been a good town, a safe town. This changes everything…_

"As soon as we get in, run upstairs and prepare for bed. I will deal with the truck and the wet clothes', I responded back, knowing full well, this would only bring more questions.

"Edward, what aren't you telling me"?

I quickly parked the truck in its usual spot and turned to face her and put on the bravest face I could. Cradling her face, I stared into her beautiful brown eyes and sadly thought how close I was to never seeing them again; I began to register the familiar pain in my chest.

"My love, Charlie is close. His thoughts are all over the place and all I know for sure is that tonight is NOT the night to stir up more tension or make him aware of my presence." "Just know that I treasure your life more than my own and I WILL do whatever it takes to keep you safe", I quickly declared before kissing her and hugging her tightly to my body.

"Now…please head in and change into your own clothing. Ohhh, how I missed that tattered t-shirt and sweats combo", I smiled at her, trying my hardest to bring levity to the situation.

Not fully buying into my response, she smiled weakly back. "Will you soon follow? You'll stay the night, won't you", she asked, assuming I had a choice in the matter.

"Tonight and each night after", I hummed out.

Not sure whether to remain, she quickly slammed the passenger door and made her way into the house. I watched and listened closely, as I heard her carefully run up the stairs, almost tripping on the 5th step, and head into the bathroom.

Dashing out of the beat up truck, I did a quick surveillance of the home, making sure no one or creature had been lurking nearby. Somewhat satisfied to find I couldn't detect any unfamiliar scent, I ran into house, and performed the same inspection.

Double-checking each room, I could find no threat but my muscles were tight and on alert for any kind of battle that might ensue. Tossing Bella's drenched clothing into the dryer; I made my way up the stairs and into Bella's bedroom. Sitting on the edge of the bed, I silently gripped my head with both hands and waited as I could now hear Charlie's heartbeat quickly approaching.

_I'll tell her but I won't tell her everything. I don't even know EVERYTHING…she has to find out from me!!_

"I wish I could protect you sometimes", Bella whispered. She stood at the doorway, wearing a football jersey, four sizes to big for her delicate frame. I had heard her tiny footsteps leave the bathroom but I didn't realize how long she had been standing there.

"Before you left…"she slowly made her way towards me, carefully taking each step as if walking on actual eggshells. "I wished I could read your mind. See exactly what you were thinking. See your fears, frustrations and problems", she said, stopping right in front of where I sat. I glanced up as she carefully got to her knees and gripped my face with her small hands.

"I wanted to see all that because I thought if I did, I would know how to help you. I would know the right thing to say or do. I want to protect you, the way you protect me", she whispered.

"Oh, Bella. You do something much more important than that", I said tilting my forehead towards hers. "You make me realize there are things worth protecting, worth living for".

The tires of Charlie's cruiser could be heard distinctly now, crunching against the tiny gravel that lined the driveway. He was home and like me, determined to protect Bella from what lurked in the darkness.

I quickly scooped up Bella and switched the tiny lamp that rested on Bella's bedside table off, knowing Charlie wouldn't have seen the light from the front of the home.

"That's twice tonight", Bella giggled in the darkness.

"Twice, what", I asked, puzzled by her random response.

"Twice, that you Mr. Cullen, have swept me off my feet. You know, a girl could get use this type of thing".

It still surprised how Bella was still able to bring a smile to my face, even at times like these. "Well, Ms. Swan, that's just the type of guy I am", I said, placing her between the sheets. "Now, try to be quiet. Charlie is debating whether or not he should wake you".

"Yes sir", Bella whispered, saluting me before laying her head against the pillow and turning away from the door.

Charlie's had already entered the house and as I had, was inspecting each downstairs room before making his way slowly upstairs.

I lay quietly at Bella's side, stroking her face and playing with the strands of hair that framed her face. I had decided that if Charlie was to enter her bedroom, I would dash into the closet, as I had done so many times before. Tonight, however, I had different reasons for not wanting to leave her side.

_She's just recently got to sleeping the whole night. I CANT tell her now, she needs a good's night rest. Tomorrow, tomorrow I will tell her…_

Not sure if I was happy to hear that Charlie wouldn't be disturbing Bella tonight, I held her closer to my body, making sure the blankets were wrapped tightly around her. I needed to know what had gotten Charlie on edge and so worried about telling Bella. Something had happened and I knew deep down, it involved Bella and myself. This thought had me automatically growling.

"Edward", she asked, stretching her hand into the darkness, grasping at air as she searched for my face.

"I'm sorry my love. You need your rest. Try to sleep, I'm here. I'll always be here", I whispered, kissing her forehead as she succumbed to sleep.

It was then that I heard Charlie's final thoughts for the night, as he himself prepared for rest after a long day of police work and finally had my questions answered.

_But how do you tell someone this kind of thing. How do you tell your daughter that people she knew, HELL, people she was probably friends with…were murdered. Not just killed, but literally ripped to shreds. Dear god, help us all…._

**Ok, hope you liked that one. So still debating who the "lucky" victims are and how to continue but I really hope you guys are digging this. Update soon!**

**Comment if you can…reading people's thoughts is always entertaining!!**


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25 Wake Up Call**

**Bella**

The sun's rays were hitting my face, waking me from my much needed sleep. Eyes still closed, I stretched, yawned and searched for Edward amongst the sheets. My hands found nothing but rumpled fabric where I hoped to have found his cool form.

Worry entered my mind, causing my eyes to spring open and sit upright in the bed. Looking around the room, I quickly scanned each corner hoping perhaps Edward was somehow there.

Had it all been a dream? Was the very fantasy of having Edward back caused me to hallucinate and believe so fully in the vivid dreams I had been having lately. Slapping my hand to my forehead, I felt a slight sting. Running my fingers above my eyebrow, I felt the open cut, that ran just above an inch long.

YES! I didn't imagine it I happily thought, lying back onto my pillow, slowly rewinding and replaying the evening's events in my head. Just thinking about Edward's body and the way he made me feel, had the hairs on my arms standing up.

"Edward", I breathed out, barely audible as a whisper.

"I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful. But I didn't want your cut to go unattended, as last night I was a bit preoccupied to dress it". He stood at my bedroom door, having already shut the door so carefully, I hadn't noticed it open.

I was unable to control the smile that plastered my face as I suddenly jumped up and slide to the corner of the bed.

In his hands he had several cotton balls, antibiotic and a small bandage. "For someone who takes a lot of tumbles, you are somewhat lacking in first-aid supplies", he said, getting to his knees before me and placing his tools on the floor.

Still experiencing the euphoria that came with having my dream come to life, I clutched his shoulders and embraced him using all the force I could. Having him so close, had images of last night resurfacing.

Embracing me right back, he breathed into my hair whispering "I'm sorry I missed watching you wake…I cherish being there for the start and end of each of your days".

Kissing his neck I let him know no apology was needed, "It's okay, we have forever to make up for it". His body became somewhat frozen then, as he considered my words.

"Bella…lets get this taken care of before Charlie makes his way upstairs. He is sitting in the kitchen as we speak, waiting for you to join him for breakfast", he somberly replied. Working very quickly, so quickly I barely noticed what he was doing, he tended to the cut.

I was so lost in his caring eyes, I didn't utter another word till he kissed the bandaged area and started to sweep my bed-head hair away from my face.

"Wait..", I started, "Charlie had fishing planned this morning, it's Saturday", I replied, rubbing circles on his marble neck.

Shutting his eyes and sighing heavily, he sat himself next to me on the bed. I knew I wasn't going to like what he had to tell me but I couldn't help but place myself in his lap, interlocking my arms around his neck.

"Bella last night when you asked what was wrong, I didn't lie when I said I didn't know everything. Charlie's thoughts are hard to interpret but I knew he was worried about something, someone". He continued on, securing his hold on my body, as if preparing my body to brace itself.

"It wasn't till after you'd fallen asleep did he reveal why he was so upset." Looking deeply into my eyes he sighed, "People…some high-schoolers were attacked last night in the woods, just on the outskirts of town. According to Charlie, they were severely attacked, leading to thoughts of an animal attack but I'm afraid he might be wrong".

I don't know how long it took for his words to sink in but after the words attacked and high-schoolers was uttered, my mind began to race. Who had been attacked? Forks high was so small, I knew every single member of the Senior Class, meaning I knew whoever had met a undeserved fate.

As if reading my mind but obviously watching my expressions, he went on. "Love, I'm not sure of the specifics or who was involved. Charlie hasn't revealed anything else since last night, all his thoughts are on you and how you will react…something I, myself am worried about". When I had no response to give, he took my face in his hands and whispered "Bella…Bella, I'm truly sorry but I wanted to prepare you for whatever Charlie might say this morning. I just need you know that I will protect you, no matter the outcome".

I sat still in his lap, dazed from all that he shared with me. I didn't realize I was on the verge of tears till Edward clutched me tight to his chest. "Oh, please don't cry…I hate to see you in pain, especially when I don't how to ease it", he pleaded.

I had never really bonded or become tight friends with those at school, save for Angela, Ben, and Mike but I had talked or known all of them. I had seen them everyday for the past 2 years, shared a smile or a brief conversation in the hallway. I couldn't really call them friends, yet my heart still ached for those who I would no longer see. The knowledge that it could be ANYONE brought me out of my daze.

"OH MY GOD! Edward, what if it was Angela and Ben, or even Mike", I suddenly asked, panic all over my face. The tears came faster then. "I have to talk to Charlie, I need to know, I need to know NOW", I said bolting for the door.

Edward's firm yet gentle grasp around my waist restrained me from taking another step. "Please listen to me Bella. You have to remember Charlie doesn't realize you know and he will be more than disturbed to know that you do. You have to go downstairs and remain calm", he said. Turning me, so as to face him, his voice became softer and full of concern.

"I hate to ask that of you but the only way to find out what we need to know, you cannot arouse any suspicions from Charlie. I KNOW this is difficult and I hate that you have to experience it at all".

Rubbing the tears out of my eyes, I knew he was right but couldn't help but voice my concerns. "Oh Edward, I'm just hoping it wasn't them. Not THEM", I croaked out.

"As am I", he said, staring off into space, regret, anger and pain filling his voice.

After a quick trip to the restroom to regain some composure and a semi-state of normalcy, I made my way to the stairs. Edward kissed me sweetly before allowing me to go down. "I will be just outside the door, listening in and watching. You won't be alone through all this, I'll be here", placing his hand over my heart while moving mine to his chest, mirroring the same action.

Taking a deep breath before entering the kitchen, I found Charlie at the table, mindlessly stirring a cup of coffee that had long ago lost its warmth.

"Hey Dad" I exclaimed, trying to sound surprised.

"Bells…hey", he said looking up as if I had brought him back from wherever his mind had gone. His expression changed when he noticed the bandage. "What happened"?, he asked concerned.

"Oh..this", I said touching my head. "It's nothing. I tripped yesterday and got a cut...nothing to worry out", I lied.

"Oh", he said simply, directing his attention to his coffee, his pained expression back on his face.

"No desire to fish today", I asked casually, grabbing a bowl and the nearest box of cereal. With my back to his face, it was easier to lie and pretend I didn't know what was to come.

"Umm, No, not today", he said before clearing his throat. "Honey, I actually had something I wanted to tell ya". His hands were in a tight fist now, but his eyes remained glued to the cup of coffee.

"Sure Dad", I responded, sitting down across from him with my breakfast, pretending to have an appetite.

"There's really no easy way to say this…but two people were attacked last night out by the woods near the city limits. They were attacked pretty viciously and unfortunately they didn't survive".

"Oh, god, that's…horrible", I said back, not saying too much as that would surely cause me to break out of character.

"It actually gets worse Bells. The people who were attacked, they were students at Forks high" he groaned out, looking up for the first time in the conversation.

"WHAT…WHO" I blurted out. I felt the tears begin to well up in my eyes yet I still had control of them.

"We had to have help identifying one of the bodies but we got a confirmation it was Lee Stephens, a Senior at your school", he spit out, as if the very thought of saying this made him ill.

Lee Stephens. "Lee Stephens" I said robotically. Doing a quick inventory of the Senior Class, I scanned my thoughts for evidence of Lee. I think we had several classes together the first semester I arrived in Forks but we had never gotten close. Sadly my heart jumped to my throat when I realized Lee was one of Mike's best friends, as they both made the basketball team at the same time.

"Lee Stephens", I repeated, sadness filling each syllable.

"I'm so sorry Bells. I didn't want to hurt you but I also didn't want you finding out some other way, from someone else", he explained, his eyes full of concern.

"And who else…who else was killed", I asked, not really wanting to know yet absolutely crazed at the thought of not finding out.

"We aren't sure. We interviewed a few people who said they saw Lee leave last night's pep rally with Lauren Mallory. We can't confirm till we find her body", he responded.

"Lauren", I simply said. Lauren had hated me with a passion since I had gotten to Forks yet I never clearly understood or cared why. She often made rude comments or completely ignored me while I was in her presence. Despite this, my heart again sank for her and her family.

Charlie's explanation suddenly had me asking questions.

"What happened to her body" I asked.

"We're thinking whatever kind of animal that attacked them, dragged Lauren off. We will do a sweep of the area until we find her".

"Maybe she's still alive", I hopefully offered.

"No…there was too much blood, too much destruction to have been any survivors. Whatever did this to them was out for blood ", he angrily responded. Noticing my silence he got up and squeezed my shoulder before leaving the room. "I'm sorry Isabella. It's always a tragic thing when young ones die but I promise we'll find the animal that did this and make sure everyone in Forks is safe".

The sadness that had weighed me down was momentarily replaced with curiosity and fear. Edward had told me that Charlie's thought of an animal attack was wrong; meaning whatever did this was human. NO! Not human, something different, something much more powerful and dangerous.

Charlie's words echoed in my mind as I pieced together my fears. _It dragged Lauren off…too much blood, too much destruction…whatever did this to them was out for blood…_

It suddenly all became clear and I knew that Charlie was only slightly wrong, as an animal had done this, just not the kind that walked on all fours and could easily be captured and taken care of.

No…this attack was something different all together and deep in my heart and mind, I knew no one in Forks would be safe….

**_Ah! I hope you like where I'm taking this as I see a fight coming up and possibly visitors__J_**

_**Comment if you can but reading is a MUST!! **_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Chapter 26 Bad Tempered**_

Edward

I clutched the ledge by the kitchen window and watched Bella closely as the words Charlie uttered sunk in.

The radiance that was hard not to notice this morning had vanished, the look of horror and panic now overtook her face. The never ending guilt again flooded me. Perhaps it was a bad idea to return. My presence meant death, destruction, and pain to the only person I ever truly loved.

Though I wasn't entirely sure it was my kind that had Forks on alert, Charlie's thoughts remained selective and the parts involving the murder were muddled as if he didn't want to dwell on the thoughts, I was sure the sadness that filled Bella's eyes was because of me.

When I would stop hurting her, I asked myself. Even when I'm trying to protect her, I end up inflicting pain. For the briefest second I considered leaving Bella once again, but I knew I didn't have the physical nor emotional strength to part from her ever.

Charlie was headed out to his cruiser, more investigating was required which would lead to more questions and answers he would never understand, and squeezed Bella's shoulder on his way out.

"I'm sorry Isabella. It's always a tragic thing when young ones die but I promise we'll find the animal that did this and make sure everyone in Forks is safe". Charlie's thoughts screamed of sympathy and worry for his daughter, it pained him to even think of losing her forever yet like so many times before, his words didn't correspond with his emotions.

Before walking out the door Charlie cleared his throat and spoke now with authority, the voice he reserved when donning his Chief of Police title. "Bella, I don't want you venturing too far today…for the next couple of days, until we deal with this. I mean it, no woods and no going outside of town alone. I will be checking in on you, so answer your phone".

No real answer escaped Bella's lips, as she continued to stare off into space, the painful expression still on her face.

"BELLA, YOU GOT IT", Charlie yelled into the kitchen.

"Got it", she muttered, which was then followed by the closing of the door and Charlie's footsteps to his vehicle.

I was in the kitchen by Bella's knees before the door clicked close. It was times like these when I wished the invisible wall that enclosed her mind and thoughts would crumble and I could finally see what she was thinking. I had her tiny hands grasped within my hands, I knew they would provide no warmth but hoped their hold would be more like reassurance. Assurance that she would never be alone and I would be there, always.

She didn't move for what seemed like an eternity and then finally, she looked into my eyes, her own on the verge of spilling tears. "Is it Victoria? Someone like her…a vampire did this, didn't they,"?

"I'm not sure love. I don't know for certain WHAT did this but they won't hurt you. I won't let anything or anyone TOUCH YOU", I responded through clenched teeth. Even hearing Victoria's name brought back the rage that lingered after James horrendous attack. I never got the opportunity to personally avenge Bella but I looked forward to the moment I could rip James' mate limb from limb and set her ablaze.

"ME" she spit out. "You're worried about me. Two people are dead, or dying, or being tortured or worse because of ME. Victoria wants ME. All this is just a game for her. Killing those around me is just another one of her moves. I'm the reason for this…ME", Bella shouted in tears.

Not fully understanding her sudden hysteria, I squeezed her close and tried to disprove her logic. "Oh my Bella…always the selfless martyr. We don't know if this is Victoria or if it's one of my kind. Even so, you are NOT why this is happening but you are the reason why I'm going to STOP it".

I hoped she believed my words as she remained silent, shaking her head from side to side, considering who knows what. "Too many people are hurting and the least I can do is help those who are. I need to see Mike, he just lost his best friend and he must in so much pain right now", she said, lightly removing my hands from her shoulders and headed upstairs.

I was instantly inflamed with jealousy. MIKE…she wants to see him?, I thought bitterly, remembering his vile thoughts so many nights before. I said nothing though, following Bella upstairs.

Rummaging through her closet for clean clothes, I quickly assembled her bed and sat stone-like on the outside corner. She seemed heavily focused at the task at hand but I couldn't resist finding out more about how she felt about the stupid boy.

"Have you and Mike become close friends? He's always enjoyed being in your company, since the first day you arrived at Forks High. He should consider himself a lucky man, to have you care for him so", I sighed, now playing with the loose strands of fabric attached to Bella's quilt.

The noises from the closet ceased and Bella's annoyance with my question was tangible. "Are you serious", she asked, now fully dressed but having only one sneaker on. "After all our time together. After this morning….after LAST NIGHT. How could you ever doubt my love for you"? She hobbled over to me, her remaining shoe swinging from her hand, I couldn't help but smile at this image.

"I meant what I said. You have ruined me for all others…no person, place or thing will EVER mean as much to me as you do. You're my forever", she whispered kissing lightly on my forehead.

I wanted to yell to her that it wasn't her I doubted. It was the fact that she loved me at all, despite all my flaws and imperfections, that had me fearing the human teenage boy. He could provide a life for her that I could never offer.

Instead, I sighed heavily, taking in her sweet scent that caused the heat to return to not only the back of my throat but entire body. I feared how much my body yearned for her in both hunger and desire, the intensity was not safe at any rate.

"Mike is my friend, a good friend. He was extremely supportive and kind to me when I wasn't really worth speaking to…and now I have to let him know, I will be there for him. Please don't be upset, it's the only way I think I can help".

How was it possible for her to be so caring and sympathetic after all she had gone through, I thought. All she wanted to offer to Mike was sympathy, friendship and support and yet all I could think of was Mike's infatuation with her. I couldn't blame him for his wanting her BUT I didn't have to enjoy it either.

"You are an amazing person Isabella Swan and I'm the luckiest man on Earth if you only love me a quarter as much as I adore you", I declared, grabbing her shoe and quickly flipping her onto the bed. I was tempted to perform an encore of last night but instead focused on her foot.

Before she had a chance to reply, I had laced up her shoe and was bringing her downstairs, she was gently hanging over one of my shoulders.

"You might not think that after I suggest something", she said, still disoriented from my quick movements.

"Why do you say that", I asked, grabbing her jacket and placing it around her arms, when we reached the door.

"Because I'm driving and I fully intend on obeying all traffic laws", she smiled, dangling the keys before my eyes.

The drive the Newton residence was long and somewhat uncomfortably quiet. It wasn't the fact that Bella drove at a snails pace or that we didn't say any words, I honestly enjoyed hearing her breathing and heartbeat uninterrupted, but that I could feel the dramatic change in everyone's thoughts.

We drove through town and the fear was palpable. Everyone's thoughts revolved around the murders and panic was beginning to seep into their minds, fear settling in their bones. It wasn't those that feared for their own safety that made me cringe but those who ached to think that their loved ones; daughters, sons, husbands, wives…lovers, could be lost and gone forever. It was these thoughts that had me wanting to zoom past Forks, it scared me to think how much their emotions mirrored my own.

Bella pulled up to the curb and shifted the car into park after what seemed like a endless drive. The loud engine soon cut-off after but we both remained silent, each anticipating what the other would say. Always being the braver of the both of us, she spoke first.

"I think you should stay here", she said to the steering wheel.

I, already on to her thinking, said nothing.

Sighing and looking towards me she went on. "Its better if you do. Mike is probably pretty emotional and stressed right now and I'm not sure how he would react to you being here. In Forks. In HIS house."

Still I said nothing, fully knowing that she was right but hating the fact she would be alone with him.

"Its like you said, why cause more chaos to an already crazy situation…or something like that", she smiled. Taking my hand into her hand, she squeezed it lightly, forcing me to come out of my pity party.

"I don't know what I'm going to say or do, or if it will even matter but I have to TRY. He must feel so alone right now and that's one of the worst feelings in the world, " she whispered out, her voice almost breaking at the end.

My non-beating heart wanted to break yet again, watching her face fall into the all too familiar frown.

"Mike Newton is truly a lucky man to be able to call someone so wonderful his friend. Never worry about me Bella, I'm not worth the stress it causes you. Go on, I'll wait here. Protect the truck, in case any hooligans get any ideas" I smirked, kissing her hand and quickly opening her door before she heard the passenger door close.

Watching her walk the steps up to Mike's doorway, I had to continuously tell myself that she would be returning shortly and that she only cared for him, in the way a friend cares for another. Simply friends, I thought as I gripped the leather seats. I could already hear Mike's heartbeat that lurked somewhere in the home.

Mike's mother greeted Bella at the door, her face telling of the sleepless night that had just passed and sadly that more would follow. Her voice also showcased her frailty and state of mind.

"Oh..hello Bella. I'm assuming you heard the news along with everyone else", her voice close to tears. "I…don't understand why this is happening or even how to…how to help him. I'm glad you came, he hasn't said anything really since we got the news", she said breathlessly.

Only nodding, Bella stepped into the open doorway and removed her coat. That was all I saw before the door shut tightly behind her.

Though I could make out what was being said in the home, it wasn't enough. I needed to be closer. I NEEDED to see what was going on and keep an eye on Mike. The guilt I felt for not listening to Bella's demands were overshadowed by my selfish desire to see what was occurring.

I made my way around the front of the home, back to the far east corner of the house. I could hear footsteps walking down a wood hallway and the gentle knocking of a door. Looking into the small window I was able to see into a small den covered with sports memorabilia and a huge T.V. set to mute. There was an exit door directly across from the door Bella now sought entrance into.

Mike was getting up from his current position on the small couch and was opening the door. As his mother described, he seemed as if he was sleepwalking, awake but not really. A blank expression across his face as his thoughts were filled with frustration for this unexpected visitor.

"Hey Mike", she said when he opened the door. He stared at her, a look of surprise, excitement and sadness in his expression.

"Bella…hey". _Bella, I was just thinking about you…how much I wanted to call you and make sure you were ok. Tell you how glad I was it wasn't you…_

I realized then that I was going to have to keep my anger in check if I continued to listen in on the conversation and his private thoughts.

"Can I come in. To talk. To…" she said, not really finishing before Mike had her in a tight hug.

"I'm so glad you're here. This just doesn't seem real", he gushed, holding her close. _You feel so good, so warm. You always had that affect on me…you make the world fade away_

I had to suddenly breath through my mouth as I shut my eyes and tightly squeezed my nose with the tips of my fingers. His thoughts were suddenly become too much too bare.

"Of course I'm here. We're friends aren't we. I thought you might need someone to talk to or someone to listen", she whispered hugging him back but clearly looking for a way to end the embrace.

Helping me keep my sanity, Bella gently pushed Mike's arms away and instead led him back to the couch, where she sat herself down next to him.

"I can't believe he's gone. I was just talking to him YESTERDAY! He was so excited about the game. He's…he WAS my friend", Mike's voice on the verge of shattering. _Bella, I feel so lost, I feel empty. Useless and confused. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING…_

"I'm so sorry Mike. I wish there was something I could say or do that could ease your pain. I know how much you cared for Lee…how close you were to him. I cant imagine how hard this is for you", she said, compassion dripping in each word.

"His mom called mine this morning. She was hysteric and yelling so hard I could hear her clearly". His voice was close to sobs. "She was screaming at my mom. Telling her that they were all wrong, that it couldn't be Lee. She demanded that my mom tell her, Lee was here. She kept saying "He's with Mike isn't he. He's with Mike. He's safe and ALIVE.", he said, tears now in his eyes. _God, how could you let something like this happen!!_

I thought the same thing myself, feeling sympathy for the poor boy.

"I can't get her voice out of my head. I can't get myself to think of him as gone". "I just don't want to think about it any more. I just don't want to think at all", he muttered, clutching his head in his heads.

"Oh Mike. I'm so sorry", Bella repeated, grabbing Mike's hand and rubbing his back gently. Seeing this, I had to restrain myself, knowing she was only trying to comfort him.

"Bella…" Mike whispered. _Bella, you feel so good, and smell amazing. With you, I can forget…help me forget_

Faster than I could have thought, Mike looked up into Bella's eyes and quickly grabbed her face. Before she had a chance to respond or act, Mike's lips were over hers, forcing them open with his mouth. The weight of his body soon had Bella slightly pinned against the cushions.

I didn't remember much after watching him kiss her. I heard the splintering of the door and its hinges fall apart as I flew into the room.

Before I had a chance to think or even consider what I was doing, I had Mike plastered against the wall, my steel hands around his neck as his feet dangled below him. My teeth gleamed in the semi-lit room with the uncontrollable thirst rising in my throat.

I wasn't sure if it was the beast within me that craved his blood or the rage of a jealous man that fueled me but all I knew for certain was that both man and animal wanted to destroy the human being named Mike Newton.

**Uh Oh!! I secretly always had a special place for Mike, hence his presence in the story but I hope you like how he is getting so caught up in it.**

**Will he survive the next chapter…who KNOWS! Just hoped you like this somewhat long chapter.**

**Comment if you can, as I have some more thoughts I gotta work out.**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27 Permission**

_Bella_

I didn't have time to think, let alone move. I was frozen to the floor and watching in horror to the scene before me.

It all happened too fast to comprehend what was going on. When Mike had grabbed me and kissed me so quickly, all I remember seeing or rather hearing was the door breaking open as the sudden pressure that Mike had against my body was no longer there. I had somehow ended up slumped on the floor.

Edward had Mike pressed against the wall, his snarling face almost unrecognizable. I had seen this face before, the look of fury and hunger all mixed in one, so completely different than the face he always showed when with me.

Mike was even in more shock than me, as his face was set in sheer terror and wonder, himself not sure what was more unbelievable, that Edward was exhibiting so much force and strength or the fact that Edward was back and in his home.

Mike was beginning to lose color in his face and I realized I would have to intervene and fast.

"EDWARD….STOP" I yelled. I didn't realize tears were starting to form in my eyes as I shouted.

Edward snapped his head toward me and the anger that once was all over his face changed in a flash. His eyes were longer filled with hunger but instead remorse.

"Bella…", he whispered, loosening his grip on Mike.

"Edward, PLEASE let him down. Please Edward…you're hurting him", I uttered. I scrambled to my feet, walking slowly to him, eyeing Mike the whole way. I was trying to get Mike to calm down with my movements but I began to feel the anger within me.

"He was hurting you…I'm sorry. I saw him HURTING you, and I didn't think, I wasn't thinking," he spoke, fumbling his words, signaling his anxiety. He had set Mike down on his feet. Mike landed on his knees, gasping for air and staring at us both in shock.

Edward made his way towards me, guilt already creeping into his facial expressions and movements.

"NO! You don't get to do this. You don't get to play the jealous boyfriend card, not after everything", I spit at him, the anger that was so prevalent last night, back again.

"Bella, he was hurting you. I was watching…", he rationalized.

"You were WATCHING", I asked in disbelief.

"Bella, there's…**something **out there and I wasn't going to wait in the car", he half shouted.

My vision became blurred with the anger that I could no longer control, I had to leave, I didn't want to say anything I would later regret or worse, hurt Edward's feelings.

Edward had always been weary of Mike and his feelings towards me but I thought Edward knew enough to know that I could never feel that way for Mike. Mike had been such a good friend to me when I just wanted to disappear, and now here I was, causing him pain when all he wanted was comfort.

I wanted to shout this at Edward, wanted to get him to understand how lost I was while he was gone but doing that would bring on the guilt that still lingered in his eyes whenever I mentioned his absence.

"I can't do this here, I won't do this here", I hissed grabbing my coat from the couch.

Turning to Mike, who was still trying to gain control of his breathing and somewhat in shock, my voice became calmer. "Mike, I am so sorry. I never meant for this to happen, I just wanted to help you, like you helped me. Please believe that." Mike's only response was shaking his head side to side, trying to comprehend all that had happened.

Edward was quietly watching and didn't utter a word till I was outside, practically running back to the truck, as always he kept a perfect pace with my stride. "Bella, Please don't run away like this. I am so ashamed of my actions but you must understand, everything I do, is to protect you".

"STOP"! "Stop telling me that you were trying to protect me, you were trying to hurt Mike because you were jealous. Jealous despite all my words, my actions, and my constant reassurance that you're the only man I love", I yelled, fumbling for the keys in my jacket pocket.

Before I could even take another step, he was in front of me.

"YES! I was jealous. Beyond jealous, I was enraged with Mike Newton. I have had to listen to his crude and vivid thoughts about you for so long, and do nothing but stand back because all they were, were thoughts. But to see him touch you, kiss you, I lost control. I never intended to scare you and for that I'm sorry", he yelled back but ultimately ending his response in a whisper.

It was hard to stay mad at Edward when he looked at me with his penetrating stare but I still felt the heat within my veins, but I was starting to believe it was for other reasons than anger.

I turned away from him and continued to the car, I couldn't just give up, my pride and underlying guilt for Mike wouldn't let me. Focus Bella, focus I kept repeating.

He was sitting in the driver's seat before I even reached the front of the car. "I can't allow you to drive, especially when you're so upset. It's not safe."

This drove me over the edge, as I briskly walked away in no particular direction. Wouldn't allow me? I was infuriated and all I could see was red.

"Bella…stop. Where are you going", Edward asked while trailing me. His stride could easily outpace mine but he was purposely slowing his steps, which he was most likely hating as utilizing his speed was one of his many pleasures.

"I don't need your permission to drive, or take a walk or talk to friends who happen to be MALE", I muttered. All I heard in response was a sigh.

I was still walking aimlessly through Mike's neighborhood when I no longer felt Edward's presence behind me. Automatically I turned around to find Edward frozen in place. His body was rigid, hands clenched at his sides.

It wasn't his posture that had me concerned and instantly frightened, it was his eyes. They said everything he wasn't saying aloud. Danger.

Before I could ask what was wrong, Edward had swept me in his arms and was rushing to the car.

We were pealing away from the Newton driveway when I dared to speak.

"Edward…what did you sense out there. Was it…them", I whispered.

Taking way too long to respond, he finally breathed out, "We need to get to the mansion. I can protect you there, keep you safe". It sounded like he was saying it more to himself than answering my question.

He continued to speed through the highway, or at fast at the truck could take us, as I peeked out the window. So many thoughts were racing through my mind but the one thing I kept thinking was that I couldn't lose Edward, not now not ever.

I involuntarily shuddered at the idea of not having him in my world, when I noticed the tiniest blur within the woods. I couldn't make out what it was but what I was certain of was the fact that it was keeping up with the truck.

I gasped and turned to Edward but his face said it all. He knew we were being followed, as he slammed his foot on the gas and turned to the road leading to the Cullen home.

Sorry for the wait! Been a crazy week but Im pretty sure you will like where this is going!

Comment if you can and again THANKS FOR READING


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28 Surprise Visit**

**Edward**

I could hear Mike's blood rushing through his veins, the beat of his heart thumbing so loudly it felt as if it would burst from his chest and the gasp of air that escaped his lips. I could hear all this so clearly but the noise did not discourage me from feasting on him, it called to me, urged me to easily take what I wanted.

I didn't know what was pushing me, the hunger that hadn't been satisfied for decades or the jealous rage that began to build the moment Mike Newton noticed Bella.

My urge to feed was suddenly pushed aside when I heard Bella's quivering voice begging me to stop. Things became clearer and the rage subsided some.

After placing Mike's breakable body to the floor, I realized I would have to face a very angry Bella.

"NO! You don't get to do this. You don't get to play the jealous boyfriend card, not after everything", she said in my direction, though her eyes seemed glued to Mike and his reaction.

Explaining that I was simply protecting her from Mike, only seemed to anger her more.

"I can't do this here, I won't do this here", she hissed while making her way to the door and once again apologizing to the one person I refused to.

I was following her out the door before I dared speak a word. "Bella, Please don't run away like this. I am so ashamed of my actions but you must understand, everything I do, is to protect you". Though my rationale wouldn't satisfy her, it was true. I always wanted to protect her, protect her from the world.

"STOP"! "Stop telling me that you were trying to protect me, you were trying to hurt Mike because you were jealous. Jealous despite all my words, my actions, and my constant reassurance that you're the only man I love", she yelled, fumbling for the car keys in her oversized jacket pocket.

It was frightening to know how rightly Bella was able to read me, even when I couldn't understand myself.

"YES! I was jealous. Beyond jealous, I was enraged with Mike Newton. I have had to listen to his crude and vivid thoughts about you for so long, and do nothing but stand back because all they were, were thoughts. But to see him touch you, kiss you, I lost control. I never intended to scare you and for that I'm sorry", I reasoned, standing before her, saying what needed to be said.

Not sure my declaration eased her anger, she walked away towards the truck, fully intent on driving away from the house, away from me. I wasn't going to let her drive, not when her emotions could potentially harm her, but I certainly wasn't going to allow her to remain alone.

I patiently sat in the driver's seat till her human steps brought her to the car door. Her eyes questioned my intentions and radiated the annoyance I could suddenly feel.

"I can't allow you to drive, especially when you're so upset. Its not safe." I simply said.

Yet again, Bella was walking away from me, noticeably steaming with frustration. I followed her at a snails pace, not wanting to draw too close but never letting her out of an arms grasp. I walked and waited, watching as the light wind blew across her face, shuffling the hair around her face, caressing her check. I sighed slightly hearing her muttered words.

Even angry, she seemed so fragile yet I couldn't help but gravitate towards her. The wind blew her scent to me, running through my noise infalming my lungs and causing the ache to return in my throat. At the same time, it felt familiar, warm and comforting. Her smell was an instant reminder of all the memories we had created together.

It was while reminiscing that I caught the thoughts of something also familiar and equally new. The thoughts were unfocused, dazed, as if the individual thinking them was considering several things all at once.

_So close, I can smell her…I can feel her heartbeat, so weak…so easy Do it NOW---the plan, what about the plan???_

Though her name wasn't mentioned, I knew Bella was the target of the thoughts, the target of the hunter. I froze up when the thoughts intermingled with the distinct smell of one of my own. It was difficult to distinguish whether it was male or female but one thing was certain, it wasn't a living human being, who thoughts became louder, signaling their proximity.

_He can hear me...he's probably listening in right now. Well, hear this, we're coming and we are not leaving empty handed…run while you can…its more fun that way….._

In an instant I had Bella in my arms and into the truck, speeding down the highway in mere seconds. I pushed the truck to the limit, as I heard the engine power on despite it's old age. It was moments like this that I wished Bella had allowed me to shower her with gifts. I had desperately wanted to gift her a fast new car, which would have proved essential today.

_So predictable…oh we are going to enjoy this_

The hunter's thoughts now seemed amused, causing me to become suddenly enraged. Bella merely looked on as I gripped the steering wheel tightly, mentally planning my next move.

I realized my lack of words was most likely causing her to go crazy with worry but I had to focus and maintain my composure. I was tempted to stop the car and come face to face with whoever yearned for Bella's blood. I WANTED to rip them limb from limb for even considering causing her harm.

But that would leave Bella too easy a target. The hunter, though solo at the moment, was not acting alone. If I could get Bella back to my home, which would provide some kind of protection for her, I could think more clearly.

"Edward…what did you sense out there. Was it…them", she whispered.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her face frozen in fear, shock, and confusion. Seeing her like this made my heart ache. Perhaps Mike wasn't such a terrible option for Bella. She deserved the world, not someone who constantly put her in harms way, she deserved days filled with happiness and not danger, I thought sadly.

Only a few miles from the Cullen mansion, I pushed my foot onto the gas, easing up a bit as I heard the metal bend slightly with my weight.

I didn't have time to ponder tomorrow, I had to focus on the present and get her to safety. "We need to get to the mansion. I can protect you there, keep you safe" I said, more to myself than an answer to the question asked.

The hunter, was close, only several miles behind, as I pulled into the open garage. I had left the door open the evening before but something seemed different as I jumped out of the truck and grabbed Bella.

_Well this a surprise…the more the merrier, she's going to love this _They had stopped following the truck, and now were trailing a mile or two away from the home.

I had been so focused on the thoughts of whoever had been following us, I didn't tune into the brand new thoughts that I hadn't heard in so very long.

Now knowing Bella would be safer here, I needed to deal with the rogue vampire outside. Setting her down in the living room area, I held her face to my hands and spoke with authority, hoping she would take this as a sign that she had nothing to fear.

"I meant what I said Bella. I will do all that is in my power to protect you, whatever it takes. Do you understand, do you trust me?"

"With my life and my heart", she responded.

"All that matters is here with you" I said before kissing her. I held her tightly to my body, wishing that I could hold her like this forever. My body constantly shielding her from whatever the world threw at us, her wrapped so tightly to me that it seemed like we were welded together, one solid form coming together from two pieces.

"I'm going to handle this. I'm going to make sure you're safe", I said, turning my body away from her, though I still held on firmly to her hand.

She yanked her arm, pulling me back, which I couldn't help but allow. "DON'T,…don't go. We'll deal with this together or we don't deal with it at all", she declared.

"Bella, remember what I said. Never worry for me. I WILL be back." I kissed her hand before I quickly released her arm and was at the door in half a second.

"Dammit Edward…stop trying to be the hero. There has to be another way", she sighed back.

Before I could even open the door, there was Alice standing near the entry blocking my way.

"I'd have to agree with Bella. There is another way, you're just too stubborn to see it", she blurted out, her arms across her chest.

I was aware of her presence when I entered the garage but I had heard her upstairs, rummaging through one of her several closets. I had only considered leaving Bella, knowing she wouldn't be alone in the home. Though extremely tiny, Alice was capable of inflicting severe damage to anyone foolish enough to try attacking her.

As usual, Jasper lurked somewhere within the home, as he would never leave Alice's side voluntarily. Their presence had eased my concern for Bella's safety and made my plan for confronting the hunter a possible option.

Before I could forcefully remove my own personal road block, Bella jumped in surprise and shouted "ALICE…" before running into her arms and hugging her tightly. Alice smiled in response and hugged back, careful not to squeeze too tightly and break a bone.

_Did you really think we were going to let you do this on your own? Oh Edward, still too hardheaded for your own good_ Alice thought, winking and frowning at me as she continued to hug Bella.

I shook my head as I realized that things were about to become a lot more complicated

_**Ok…so Alice and Jasper are back. Don't worry the whole clan will be back soon, but thought it might be best to ease into it. Apologies for the late update but sadly work has been sooo crazy and my free time has become sleep time.**_

_**Anyways hope you enjoyed this chapter and that you'll like the next one as well. Oh and for all who commented, keep it coming, it's a nice break from the mundane work day!!**_


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29 Cleaning House**

Bella

I never quite understood how someone so small and delicate as Alice could exert so much strength. Hugging her, much like Edward, was like wrapping your arms around granite, but on a smaller scale.

Though she was noticeably holding back, my ribs could feel the tightness and sheer force her grip was causing. I didn't care, the pressure and pain made the moment all the more real. She was here. Alice, my best friend, in every sense of the word, was here, holding me when I truly needed support.

"Bella, its ok to let go. I'm not going anywhere, not anytime soon, anyways", she assured me while lightly rearranging the hair on my face. "Seriously Bella, if you even tried a little with your hair, it would make a world of difference", she giggled. I missed this, her constant questioning of my style was just another way of saying I love you.

Finally letting go of her, I stared into her eyes, tears in my own and laughed back, "I'll see what I can do…for your sake". I had so many questions I wanted to ask, so much explaining I felt she owed me but all that seemed secondary to the fact that she was smiling at me. The sister I always wanted but never quite received.

The reunion was cut short by Edward's heavy sigh and loud clearing of his throat. "Alice, can you save your fashion critique till later. As you know there are more pressing matters at hand. You need to focus and wait here with Bella and Jasper."

"Jasper…", I whispered. I knew he wouldn't be too far off but I hadn't really spoken to him since my birthday fiasco. I never had the opportunity to tell him I didn't blame or harbor any resentment towards him. Never got the chance to say apologies weren't required or even a simple goodbye.

"Edward, as well as being completely hard headed, you suffer from selective hearing. I TOLD you already, you are not dealing with anything alone and certainly not now", Alice explained. She was hurriedly running around the first floor, pulling the sheets from the forgotten furniture. Her quick movements began to blur together, all I could see was her signature spiky hair moving back and forth.

"Enough. You can stay here and unpack if you like but the longer we wait, the closer they get…to us and to Bella", Edward growled. He had automatically crossed the room, and once again, his body shielded mine, his fingers secured to my hand.

"You're letting your emotions do your thinking and not considering the alternatives. We have choices Edward….we always have a choice", she declared, slowly her step to human speed as she stopped before Edward.

They shared a few silent seconds before Edward hugged me tightly to his body and angrily shouted at Alice. "WE don't have a choice to make…it's not for US to decide. I wont even consider it, so don't you even THINK ABOUT IT".

Looking up into his glare, Alice calmly responded. "Its not a matter of yes or no…just when. But you weren't listening closely, as always, as I said we have several options".

Walking past us, she slowly made her way up the staircase stopping midway to gracefully sit on the stairs. "I can't say for sure…but I saw more than two vampires, perhaps three or four. In the vision, two are strong, new-born strong. It wouldn't be a fair or long fight if you left now. Besides, they are planning something…what I'm not sure, they cant decide", she spoke, running her hands up and down the staircases railing. I realized she was trying to distract herself from what she was saying, trying to sound calm, trying for me.

"Even more reason for me to handle this animal now and then bring down the others one by one. Take him down now before he can signal for help or update them with your arrival", Edward reasoned. He was rubbing small circles on the small of my back while tugging at his hair with his free hand. I could tell he was frustrated and Alice wasn't helping.

"They already know. I don't know how…perhaps they were watching or anticipating our arrival. They were expecting a fight and now they will get one", she snapped back.

"So three against three, then. A fair fight, as you say. Well then, we have to get Bella safe and then attack", Edward replied, determination in his voice.

"Not quite fair. In numbers at least. It will be seven against three or four, like I said I cant be sure" she smirked back.

"Seven", Edward and I asked in unison.

"Everyone is already on their way. We were actually preparing to come days ago, before my phone call the other night. I saw you coming back and that made our decision to return even easier. We never really wanted to leave, you're our family Edward. Jasper and I arrived sooner as everyone thought if we came first, you might be more receptive to the idea", she explained, now standing at the top of the stairs.

"So…perfect timing, I suppose", Edward asked.

"Not really. More like wrong moment, right time. I had hoped our reunion would be more joyous and less fight to the death related", she smiled at Edward. The smile didn't reach her eyes as she looked to me and back to Edward, uncertainty in her stare.

"How long must we wait? I don't know if I can resist tracking them down and destroying them myself, alone or with your help" he sighed, rubbing my cheek with his thumb.

" The rest of the family will arrive in the next day and half, luckily the hunters won't make any more moves till after their return", she responded, tilting her head to one side, as if she had heard something only she could hear.

"Why do THEY wait? Wouldn't they want to attack while they had the upper hand", Edward asked, now truly exhausted from the conversation.

"They want everyone here…they want to hunt Bella but they also want to destroy us all. In the vision, they're not only expecting us, they appear to be welcoming our arrival. Having the opportunity to wipe out all the Cullens is an added bonus", she said sadly.

"Perfect", he simply said, kissing my forehead before picking me up and bringing me over to the stairs. He sat on the lower steps as he placed me on his lap, making sure he had a firm grasp around my waist.

I hadn't spoken throughout the entire conversation but now that I had the chance to speak, I didn't know what to say, as anything I uttered wouldn't be enough.

"I'm sorry…I have wished for so long to have you back. To have you all back and now I get my wish but as always, it comes with a price. I'm so sorry Edward, you always seem to be the one who pays", I finally said, pushing his hair out of his saddened eyes.

"Don't ever apologize to me Bella. What is occurring now has nothing to do with you but everything to do with WHAT I am. Never apologize for giving me back my life, for giving me a reason and hope", he whispered into my ear, smelling my hair as he did.

"WOW. You are the perfect boyfriend…takes all the blame AND a great kisser", I whispered back, trying desperately to see some sort of smile from his face.

"Among other things…remember", he smirked back. Forgetting the situation for a while, he ran his hands along my leg, stopping on my thigh, gently kissing the beginning of my jawline.

"Yes…how could I forget THAT. Bella you and I need some much needed girl talk", Alice chimed in above us, killing the mood immediately.

"ALICE", Edward and I yelled out, from embarrassment or anger, I wasn't entirely sure.

I thought perhaps Edward had gotten too offended as he stood up suddenly and brought me to my feet. I was about to tell him to ignore Alice's comment when I noticed Jasper slowly walking behind Alice's form.

As usual he walked with trepidation, not out of fear but in anticipation of the emotions before him. How difficult that must be I thought. Preparing yourself, mentally and physically, for all the emotions you could possibly feel when entering a room.

"Jasper…", Edward responded.

"Don't worry Edward, I'm in control of myself. I felt it necessary I speak to Bella…especially considering the circumstances. Would that be alright", he asked, directing his focus to me. It felt strange having him look at me, so often he avoided physical contact with me and was sure to never be alone with me at anytime.

"Jasper, you're my brother, in all the way it counts, but I don't know if now is the right time", Edward sincerely answered.

"NO! Edward its ok…I want to hear want he has to say. I have a few things to share as well", I blurted out.

"Bella…are you sure", Edward worriedly asked.

"Its fine. I cant have you all fighting on my behalf and not allow the chance for things to be said".

Edward now stood beside me, his arms firmly on my shoulders, while his eyes were glued to Jasper, who slowly made his way down the stairs and to me.

I inhaled deeply and prepared for whatever Jasper had to tell me.

_**Finally I got to update. Im seriously hating on my boss and workload but writing truly helps. I hope you all like this chapter. I honestly want to make longer chapters but that would delay the updates even more and I don't want to do that.**_

_**I hope to make the next chapter a long one, and I reallllllyyyyy hope you like this one. Comment if you can…THANKS!!!!! **_


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30 First Things First**

**Bella**

As Jasper drew closer, Edward's grasp on my shoulder and waist seemed to tighten, though I could tell he was trying to appear relaxed. He wasn't really fooling anyone as his perfect jaw was set tightly and his eyes watched Jasper's actions like a hawk.

His iron clasped seemed to ease slightly, and a sudden form of calmness came over me.

"Very nice of you Jasper, though I'm sure Bella appreciates you taking her feelings into consideration, it's not necessary to worry about my well being", Edward responded in a soft voice.

"Sorry, force of habit", Jasper smiled.

Though Jasper was almost a foot taller than Alice and a build similar to Edward, he moved gracefully from step to step, never taking his eyes off mine. It made me more self conscious of my clumsiness and very difficult not to break our eye contact, I didn't want Jasper thinking I was uncomfortable.

He finally came to a stop only a step or two away from me, towering over Edward and I both. I could feel Alice's and Edward's eyes glued to us, when Jasper half-smiled at me before speaking. We had talked to each other somewhat before the Cullen's leaving, but for some reason it felt like we were meeting for the first time.

"Bella, it's been quite some time since I've seen you. You seem…better, despite all that's been occurring", he softly said before continuing. "The family left so quickly before, that I never got the opportunity to apologize for my actions on your Birthday. Please know that I was truly ashamed of how I reacted…and deeply sorry for everything that happened afterwards". His smile was no longer there, a bleak expression on his face was all I could see. His golden eyes, not as rich as Edward's which were more butterscotch-like, full of empathy.

He waited to say more, looking to me, hoping for some sort of reaction.

I breathed in heavily and looked for the right words to say. "Don't apologize Jasper. It was an accident…and I know you were only acting according to your instincts. I understand and I don't blame you. I missed you, I missed you all so much", I finally said.

"Missed me? Why…how could you not blame me, resent me in some way", he asked, confusion filling his eyes.

A few minutes ago I couldn't say more than a few words and now I just couldn't stop myself.

"When Edward came into my life, I didn't just get the love of my life, I also got a family. Brothers and sisters, that I didn't realize how much I needed until they were gone." Edward held me closer to his body, and sighed sadly.

"But the thing is Jasper…we shouldn't focus on the past. What's important is that we're here now…together. I don't blame you or resent you in the least" I said extending my arm slightly before pulling it back quickly. I didn't want to make it even harder on him that I had to. I couldn't imagine how much self-control it took to just to speak to me.

My sudden movements didn't go unnoticed, as Edward squeezed my right hand and hummed slightly into my ear, trying to assure me I was safe. Jasper looked at both Edward and I and just smiled.

"It's ok Bella. Don't worry about your proximity to me. I'm stronger than I was before. Sometimes moments of weakness help us see just how strong we can be", Jasper said glancing at Edward and staring back at me. "Besides, the emotions coming from you both, I cannot fathom ever tearing that kind of bond apart. The intensity of your love for each other is very comforting. Almost as relaxing and safe as when I'm alone with Alice…or just in the same room with her", he sweetly said, turning to look at Alice, who now stood a few steps above him, her hand gently patting his head.

"See, I told you Jazz…Bella wasn't angry. She missed us just as much as we missed her", Alice amusingly said.

"I would disagree with that…but I know better than to argue with Alice", I laughed out.

"Oh Bella! You're my best friend and a constant source for smiles", Alice giggled back. "How could I NOT miss you desperately"!

I could feel myself blushing involuntarily and rolling my eyes at the thought of anyone, let alone a clan of vampires, finding me interesting and worthy of being missed. As always Edward was quick to tell me otherwise.

"My Bella, modest to the core. I don't think you will ever realize just how unique and wonderful you truly are", Edward whispered to me, as he turned my face towards his. "Just know I will make it my mission to prove to you how precious you are to me", he practically sang, rubbing his cheek against my own.

"Edward…", I laughed uncomfortably, as Alice's and Jasper's eyes were now drinking in our private moment. His cool breath against my skin suddenly had my thoughts going elsewhere and heartbeat increasing by the second. If I didn't stop him now, it was about to become extremely awkward.

"Your right my love. First things first", Edward responded, clearing his throat as he did. His focus and gaze returned to Alice and Jasper, his steely and tense composure coming back in full swing. "We need to establish a plan of our own while the rest of the family make their way back. We cannot just sit and wait while the hunter's strategize".

"Edward. Way ahead of you. I was about to let you in on the PLAN before you started something you obviously wanted to finish with Bella", Alice said, annoyance filling each word. "Really, you are behaving like a stereotypical raging-hormones teenage boy", she laughed.

"I think Edward is acting…accordingly", Jasper responded, barely able to suppress his laughter.

I could feel my entire face blushing now. Edward's family's over-interest in our barely born sex-life had me wishing for death. The thought of Emmet knowing and the certain teasing to ensue had me groaning already.

"ENOUGH. Can we focus on the life-threatening situation and not my ungentlemanly behavior? We need to be prepared…for anything and everything", Edward almost shouted, hugging me tightly in the process.

"Edward, don't worry or question our loyalty or dedication to saving Bella. We will protect her, we all care for her deeply as well. She's family", Jasper declared. He slowly lifted his arm and lightly placed his hand on my shoulder.

The sincerity in Jasper's eyes was assurance enough, as Edward didn't tense up or pull me away when Jasper reached for me.

It was difficult at that moment to question Alice's comment about missing me , as all I could feel in that instant, was loved.

_**Sorry for the long wait but the Holidays and work hasn't been kind. But instead of coming up with excuses, I will WRITE. Hope you like this chapter! I plan on updating soon, so stay tuned.**_


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

Edward

Over the past decades I had never truly missed or desired to dream. Dreams and sleep were things of the past, necessities for human beings but I had long ago determined my humanity was non-existent. That was until I met Bella, who turned my world upside down and made life more than bearable but worth living.

Watching her fall into a deep sleep and begin to murmur softly as she dreamt, I too closed my eyes yearning for the sleep to come and the dreams to take over. Instead I was met with images of Victoria and several dark figures lurking beside her, cloaked in darkness, save for their eyes unmistakable with hunger.

I quickly leaped from Bella's side to the floor, crouched over, ready to strike. It took slightly longer than 3 seconds for me to realize that it was merely my anxiety and fury that had me so tense. In a flash I was once again beside Bella, wrapping the blanket tightly around her body as I drew us closer together. Her body automatically melded into mine, and a smile crept upon her face, though her light breathing proved she was still asleep.

I was grateful that my sudden movement didn't wake her, as it had taken several hours of convincing for her to even consider rest.

***********************************************************************

After Alice's and Jasper's surprise visit and sudden involvement with the hunters, I had been entertaining thoughts of running away with Bella, taking her away from the threat and danger that always seemed to loom over us. As usual, Bella was against such, "drastic measures" as she called it.

She argued that wherever we went, the hunters were sure to follow and worried how I could take all of them on alone. When I reasoned it wasn't my safety I was concerned about, she wouldn't bother listening to anymore of my ideas.

"Fine. If you refuse to leave the country and Forks in general, then we have no choice but to have you remain here. At least till the others arrive and destroy the hunters", I finally said.

Arms crossed, Bella rolled her head back and sighed heavily. "Oh…I'm sure Charlie is going to LOVE that". "I can see it now…hey Dad, I can't come home because I under house arrest at my boyfriends house. Why? Nothing really, just a pack of vampires are out for my blood", she replied.

Fully knowing she was simply being sarcastic I couldn't help but cringe at how casual she spoke of the danger all around her. Shaking off the thought I responded back, "Perhaps not those exact words but I'm sure we could come up with something that would satisfy Charlie AND our plans".

Turning back to face me Bella looked at me in a way that made me want to freeze time and took my hand into hers. "Edward…I know what you're trying to do and all you can see right now is protecting me. But even though I wish I could spend forever holed-up in your bedroom…it wouldn't feel right leaving Charlie alone with those, those hunters out there. Besides me staying here would only lead to more questions that I wouldn't even know how to answer". Stroking my cheek she went on, "Remember, Charlie thinks you and the rest of your family are somewhere half-way across the world. If he even thought for a second you were back AND that I was camped out here…the hunters wouldn't be the only danger we had to worry about", she smiled.

Bringing her close to me, I inhaled her luscious scent and tried to find words that would describe what lengths I would go to, to protect her. "Bella, I don't fear what the hunters could do to me or even the wrath of your father…what I cannot fathom is ever losing you and knowing I failed to protect you. You have to trust that all I do is for you".

"I don't doubt you or your love…but I think your judgment is being clouded. There's a better way to handle this and taking me captive here, is not the best possible choice", she calmly sighed into my chest.

"I'm open to suggestions…as long as they involve me NEVER leaving your side", I whispered back.

"Ummm…like I said if you would let me get a word in, I could break down my plan", a tiny voice called out from the living room. I had forgotten how easily it was to forget other people in a room once I had my focus on Bella, people's presence and thoughts seemed to fade into the background and became almost incoherent.

Alice bounced into the room, carrying several white sheets with her, as she was currently going room to room "unwrapping" all the remaining furniture. I raised an eyebrow at her sudden need to clean, she quickly answered me with her thoughts…_I told Esme I would get started on making it more like home as much as I could.. _

"So you want to hear it or would you like to read my thoughts and then update everyone else", she asked while throwing the sheets into a pile and quickly jumping atop the stairs railing, perching herself at the very top.

"Spare us the acrobatics and let us in on this brilliant plan", I said barely able to contain my annoyance with her.

"I never said it was brilliant EDWARD", she spit out, now fully standing on the railing, looking much like a tight-rope walker. "Its actually rather simple but like Bella pointed out, your thoughts are so clouded with protecting her, you're not seeing the best strategies for doing so" she remarked as she gracefully dropped down from the railing and landed perfectly on her feet, only a few feet from us, smiling in our direction as she did.

"Show off", Bella muttered. I couldn't help myself as I laughed slightly and squeezed Bella's hand. "Well…out with it then", I sighed.

"I hate to say it…but you're right Edward, we CANNOT let Bella out of our sight. BUT, that doesn't necessarily mean she has to be imprisoned here. I suggest we let Bella return home, where you can watch over her…day and night", she giggled slightly before going on. "Jasper and I will take turns watching over Bella's home, so you'll always have back up. We only have to run surveillance and keep guard till the rest of the family arrives…about 3 or 4 days."

"Won't that lead them straight to Bella's home…and put both her and Charlie in harms way", I asked, doubting the plan, though I could see how we could make it work.

"My visions have them attacking in the woods…somewhere out in the open. They want to make a show of this…they want a fight. I don't see them attacking at either home, as they are waiting till we are all together. And if they do happen to set sites on the Swan home, it allows us the opportunity to have the element of surprise here at our home…no "spies" to watch over us", Alice calmly stated.

"Alice, I trust you with my life…but are you positive they wont try to hurt me or Charlie at home", Bella worriedly asked.

Taking Bella's other hand, Alice looked deep into her eyes and responded, "Bella, they don't want Charlie…this is all a game and you're the prize. But just know you're part of this family and we protect our family".

With a deep sigh, Bella turned to me and declared, "So then it's agreed…you're coming home with me".

*****************************************************************************************************

So now here we were, laying so close together, the light breath that escaped her lips feeling like fiery satin on my cold form. I tried to remember how I survived those nights without her, not feeling her close to me, hearing her heartbeat, or being there to see the way her face seemed to grow more beautiful in her sleep. She seemed so fragile and unguarded, any barrier or wall that may have been there in the daylight, now nonexistent.

Without me knowing I had started to lightly hum the piece she had inspired me to create. Bella's arms extended over me as she brought herself closer to my neck.

With sleep still in her voice she whispered, "Will you sing to me every night, Edward? Your voice makes it hard to know whether I'm awake or still dreaming".

Silently upset with myself for waking her, I whispered lightly in her ear. "I will sing to you every night for the rest of eternity if that's what you desire". I realized I may have chosen the wrong words as her breathing slightly changed and she brought her lips to mine and kissed me passionately.

"I desire you", she spoke into the darkness after gaining control of her breath. She now was stroking my neck and shoulders as she nuzzled her face against my own. I could again feel the warmth begin to build in the pit of my stomach, as I clutched the bed sheets around us for support, hearing the tiny fibers tear as I did.

"Bella…I..I want to make to love you…you have no idea how much I want to but Charlie's down the hall and this may not be the right time for us to be together, like that, again", I reasoned with her, shutting my eyes tightly, trying to gain composure.

"Actually I think this would be the perfect time to be together", she replied, kissing the base of my neck. "And…Charlie's a heavy sleeper", holding back a small laugh.

While I was trying desperately to find a way to say no to her advances, Bella had unbuttoned the light shirt I had been wearing, and was running her hands down my abdomen, slowly make her way down to the waist of my jeans.

I couldn't take much more and before Bella could move her hands any further, I had quickly grabbed her and lifted her body so that I was now directly above her, my hands gently pinning hers above her head.

"So…you've changed your mind", she smiled as she arched her body up towards me.

"I think, I've created a monster", I smirked back at her.

"That's right…and now you must live with the consequences…however horrible they maybe", she whispered in her most serious voice.

"If that's my punishment…I will gladly plead guilty", I breathed out, my face hovering centimeters above hers. Closing her eyes as I drew closer to her, I began to kiss every inch of her body I could reach, starting with her hands still pinned against the pillows and made my way down.

As I kissed her collarbone, I heard her whisper "Edward" and I couldn't believe how far I had come and what I had done in all my years on this Earth to deserve her and her love. Opening her pajama top carefully with one hand, I gently ran my fingers up and down her chest, kissing each area I had already touched. Her skin was warm and welcoming and my icy skin couldn't get enough of the heat if offered.

Her silent moans grew louder as my fingers trailed slightly below her belly button. "Bella.." I whispered before kissing her lips, and forehead.

"Edward…" was all she said in response.

I knew what we were doing wasn't "right" but at the same time it didn't feel wrong. I loved her beyond hope and she loved me despite all reason, we wanted and NEEDED each other mind, body and soul.

Before I could continue exploring Bella's body I heard a thought I couldn't ignore.

_Edward…I hate to interrupt you but I thought it be best to remind you that although Charlie is asleep, he is not the only person who might be able to over-hear you and Bella…_

"JASPER…DAMMIT", I said under my breath.

"What", Bella whispered, confused by my words and sudden lack of movement.

"Bella…I think we should perhaps rethink this, as we have other-people to consider. It appears we will have an audience the next few days---whether we like it or not", I sighed, releasing my hold and slowly rolling off of her and onto my back.

"Oh…OH…"she said, re-buttoning her top and shaking her head, realizing what I meant.

"This might be harder than I had originally thought" she said, both of us staring up at the ceiling, desperately wishing privacy was one thing we could call our own.

_**OK…I know it has been a while but work has been so CRAZY but I have missed telling this story…I hope you like where its going and you enjoyed this chapter…MORE TO COME!!!!**_


	32. Chapter 32

**_Hi all,_**

**_For those who kept on reading, HELLO AGAIN, for new readers THANK YOU as its been a while since I updated. Things in life got more dramatic than fiction so had to deal with that BUT I realized how good it felt writing and reading your reviews._**

**_Writing really is a way of dealing with things so I hope to deal alot more! Hope you enjoy this chapter...Im thinking where I can go with this as I want to finish it up BUT dont worry we get to see the rest of the family pretty soon! I appreciate any ideas you might have and again THANKS to those who review and comment...its a big HELP:)_**

**_ENJOY_**

Chapter 32

Bella

It had already been two days since Jasper's and Alice's arrival, my house-arrest and the realization that I was currently being hunted by a force that couldn't be stopped by ordinary means. The entire time spent not thinking about how I would meet my demise but on how I wanted to spend the time I had left. The answer was simple…with Edward, whatever it was, I needed to be near him.

I didn't think there could be anything worse than being away from Edward but I was wrong. It was unbearable to have him close but never close enough.

Since our encounter with voyeurism and having almost performed a free show for Jasper, Edward was extremely careful of his movements around me. It was as if he thought if our skin contact lingered too long, we wouldn't been able to control ourselves and submit to our emotions. It was almost laughable if not for the fact part of me knew it was somewhat true.

Instead, Edward focused all his attention on preparing for the rest of his family's arrival AND finding new ways of sneaking me out of the house without arousing suspicion from Charlie. After the attacks in the woods, the local t.v. station continuously ran non-updates on the search for the "deadly animals" that had killed one teen and most-likely killed the other. Their descriptions weren't too far off. This along with my admittedly shift in attitude, was putting Charlie on edge and having him take overprotective to another level.

He watched me like a hawk constantly looking for some kind of emotional breakdown caused by all that happened the past few days. All the while reminding me how much of a prisoner I was in my own home.

"To school and back. Nothing in between. I can't protect you while I'm at work but I'll be damned if you go off putting yourself in harms way. Especially with those wild animals on the loose", Charlie ordered. "You got that Bells"?

"Yes Dad", I automatically responded as I cleared up the dishes from dinner. His constant warnings were now a daily ritual as the threat level had reached its peak and I would be returning to school the next morning. Shuffling across the floor, plates in hand, I could feel Charlie's eyes watching me, waiting for some kind of rebuttal or refusal of his orders.

"Bella…I MEAN IT", he practically spit out. Placing the plates inside the sink, I sighed and turned to face him, expecting to see an angry Charlie. Instead of anger his face looked pained, almost hurt in fact. It was as if he knew deep down we were all in danger and he really DIDN'T know how to protect me.

"Dad…listen I told you already I promise to be back home as soon as school is done. I'm not in the mood for any extra curricular activities and I know a lot of the kids at school are thinking the same thing." Walking close to the chair Charlie was slumped in, I tried my best to reassure him. "Whatever attacked them in the woods will be caught. No more people will have to die. It's going to be okay Dad…, I whispered, placing my hand on his shoulder.

Out of the blue, Charlie sat up and grabbed me into a rib-crushing hug. "I'm sorry Bells…I don't mean to play bad cop hear at home but you mean the world to me. I just want you safe. I know its going to be okay kiddo, you just gotta let me be the Dad sometimes…" he trailed off, still hugging me to his chest.

"I know, I know. Everything will be fine", I said into his shoulder, tightly hugging him back. Staring into the woods by the backyard, imagining what lurked within them, I shut my eyes and lightly mumbled, "It has to be….

***********************************************************************************************************************************

After our little emotional pow-wow, Charlie had went back to watching sports the entire evening, as I counted the minutes till I was in bed with Edward. His soothing voice crooning me to sleep as the whole world melted away.

Charlie had gone to bed 15 minutes earlier, as I lay in my bed watching the shadows of the branches outside dance across my ceiling, aching to be close to Edward. Though I had felt him watching me the entire day, knowing I wasn't able to touch his skin or breath in his sweet scent was beyond maddening.

Just the thought of his smooth lips against mine, his strong hands clutching my waist and his gorgeous eyes staring into my own was enough to make my pulse quicken and heartbeat pound rapidly. Shutting my eyes I moaned his name…"Edward".

Within an instant I felt his arms around me, his solid form encasing my body. I snuggled closer to him, never wanting to be away from him again.

"What's wrong my love"? He ran soothing circles on my back, as he tucked my head below his chin. "I was waiting till Charlie was fully asleep before I came in but I heard your heart beating a mile a minute and I had to make sure you were alright".

"I'm perfect now. Here. Now. Everything is just right. Just as it should be", I whispered to him, grabbing his hand and intertwining it with mine, bringing it to my lips as I kissed his knuckles.

His breathing became more labored then, his body suddenly rigid and stiff, never letting go of me but now very mindful of his movements. "Bella…I believe we already went over this. THIS can't happen…at least not at this current point in time", he reasoned.

He was right. All the reasons were there to stop. It was rational to not give in to what played in my mind all day but I couldn't bring myself to listen.

"I don't care who hears. I don't care if Jasper tells Emmett and we never hear the end of it…I don't care. I want you…NOW", I said angrily as I shifted my body away from Edward's and not-so-gracefully straddled him. I didn't know where all this was coming from as my heart and body were ignoring the arguments and warnings my mind was screaming.

Edward seemed shocked as well as all he could do was stare, his eyes clearly conveying his confusion on whether or not to accept or challenge me…

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